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Self-Help Tips To Overcome Anger

Updated on September 25, 2014


Anger is a natural emotion and experienced by all. It is an emotion that is more acceptable to socially express as opposed to other negative emotions such as sadness or guilt. Yet, in a lifetime most of society can say that anger has gotten the best of them at least a handful of times. However, if not managed or controlled, anger can be a rotten beast that eats away at your insides without mercy and that lack of control can prove to be very volatile.

Just by watching the local news most of us can gather that societal anger is increasing and the results of internalized anger is problematic to us all. Your own anger can leave you feeling embarrassed and ashamed if it gets out of hand. You may begin to wonder who is to blame and how to change especially if anger takes the joy out of life.

Many times an angry person blames everyone but themselves when they throw their numerous tantrums; I know because I have been there. Changing jobs, loved ones and mostly everything around you except yourself because remember the world is the problem. That is until that dark day that you are left to yourself and the light bulb appears from nowhere; I am the problem. If you are not there yet hopefully by reading this you may at least have an idea of change but how this is who you are.

One thing to remember anger is a basic emotion and is absolutely normal as long as it is displayed in an appropriate manner without anyone getting hurt.

Identifying if You Have Anger Issues

It is pretty clear that you have a problem if you have a hard time maintaining relationships or if the ones you do have in your life is in fear of your “episodes.” One way of telling if you are angry is to watch yourself in a conversation and watch your face; continually frowning, raising voice, feeling of irritation is a definite sign. Ask people that regularly see you and have them describe your behavior; hopefully they are honest. This is probably the hardest stage as many as taking accountability for your anger and behavior is your responsibility and not that of others. Have you ever said or heard “Well they made me mad.” Remember, being angry is a choice.

What techniques have helped you to deal with anger?

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Quickly Identify if Anger is a Problem in Your Life

The emotion you reserve for enemies

The emotion that most often accompanies or precedes aggressive behavior

The emotion that triggers the fight component of your nervous system’s fight or flight response.

The emotion that is opposite of fear

The emotion that expresses itself in revenge

The emotion that signals that you feel personally threatened

The emotion that’s associated with blame

The emotion that can be deadly when it comes to your health.

The emotions that’s negative in tone

The emotion that gets your blood boiling

The emotion that you are the most afraid of

The emotion that expresses the combative side of your personality

The emotion that everyone else around you is most afraid of

The emotion that always does more harm than good!!

Anger Myths

Males are angrier than females

Anger is bad/good

Anger is only a problem when you openly express it

The older you get, the more irritable you are

Anger is all in the mind

Anger is all about getting even

Only certain types of people have a problem with anger

Anger is a result of human conflict

Do You Have an Angry Personality?

A person that generally has adapted into being angry all the time and mostly lives in fight mode may not even realize that this has become a problem for yourself and others. Also, this type of person struggles with accepting his or her own behavior. If anger is not shown in a productive manner then the situation always results in the abuse of another individual. Abuse can be in the forms of physical, emotional, psychological, and verbal which can all be the results of someone’s out of control anger.

Is Your Personality Considered to be Angry in Nature?

You’re competitive

You like to dominate others

You’re impatient

You’re intense

You’re demanding

You’re confrontational

You’re forceful in pursuing goals

Some Contributing Factors

Substances can be a contributing factor in anger as they are likely to reduce a person’s inhabitations and blur judgment.

Substances that can be problematic:

  • Alcohol
  • Caffeine
  • Nicotine
  • Tranquilizers
  • Cocaine
  • Chemical inhalants
  • PCP
  • Hypnotics
  • Sedatives.


Other factors that can contribute to the feeling of anger is past traumas which has caused your lens of the world to become altered and damaged, therefore, a sense of the world working against you may have been formed thereby becoming defensive.

Overcome Your Anger

There are several tried and true ways of managing and/or conquering your anger and the outbursts that accompany it. No matter the method of treatment beginning is key. There are both self-help measures and professional help that can assist you with learning a new way of life beyond your anger.

Some Self-help Measures Include:

  • Stop – when getting mad just stop and walk away.
  • Counting – everyone has probably heard counting to 10 helps
  • Meditation
  • Guided imagery
  • Sustain from substances

Professional Help:

  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy- addresses distorted thinking that contributes to angry perceptions
  • Trauma treatment – learn to heal traumas that provoke you to be angry at the world


So much can be explained in the nature of anger and how to identify, contemplate change, make a plan, follow progress. Changing anger is a process that requires practice and persistence. Failure to be perfect is part of change.

Do not give up.


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    • lctodd1947 profile image

      lctodd1947 7 years ago from USA

      Anger makes an individual lash out at others when a person is actually angry with themselves also. When this emotion cannot be controled; the person should definitely seek some kind of Life Coaching or professional help. I think that we have all had to work on ourselves at some point. Very good thoughts.

    • Lita C. Malicdem profile image

      Lita C. Malicdem 7 years ago from Philippines

      When somebody hurts me, I'm angry and my instant desire is to get even. But that was in my younger days. I've learned to tame that animalistic instinct as I grow older. There's no use hurting yourself. That only aggravates the situation. Pray for the other person instead. Life is beautiful despite its trials. Trials are like life's brownouts. The light shines in the end.

      This hub is very handy reference. Taming one's anger would be difficult, but identifying the problem that triggers it and the contributing factors around anger, will surely make things easier. Thank you!

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 7 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      As a "newbie," I have not met an angry hubber. I have some who do not agree, but life reflects an integration of different ideas and concepts.

    • mdscoggins profile image

      Michelle Scoggins 7 years ago from Fresno, CA

      Thanks, not for being mad but for the comment. Hopefully I can get some other hubs up to help you out with that :)

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 7 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      I am madder-than-hell-and-I ain't -taking-it-anymore! Informative hub. Thanks for sharing.