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Are You Meeting Your Own Expectations? A Moment With Bill Reflection

Updated on August 12, 2013

The Dream

I am pushing a huge boulder uphill; for what purpose I do not know. All I know in this dream is that my muscles are straining…aching….and my breath is exploding from my chest with each step I take.

Just as I reach the top of the hill and I am about to rest, to relax, to engage in a back-slapping dance of self-congratulations, the hill rises up before me again, and what I thought was the summit was nothing more than the crest before another hill.

And the struggle up another hill begins.

Welcome to my life.

I may have some issues. LOL

One of the perks with reaching the latter stages of middle age is a clarity when one looks back over the landscape of their life. I can take an issue like over-inflated expectations and see clearly that it has been with me for a lifetime. I never achieve as much as I believe I should have achieved. I never do as well as I should do. I never set enough goals and I certainly never reach the ones I set because you see, they simply are not attainable.

I have a very hard time with praise. No matter how sweet and genuine it is, a voice in my head says the one praising me does not know the truth, that instead of doing well I actually failed, and if they did know the truth I would never hear praise from them again.

But Bill, you are a good writer!

Yes, maybe, but I’m not as good as I could be.

But Bill, you are a good, hard worker!

Yes, maybe, but I don’t work hard enough to succeed.

But Bill, what is success?

Ah, now we have arrived at the central question, and I suspect it is a question all should be asking.

Trimming the bs is an important step
Trimming the bs is an important step

What Are Expectations?

Don't lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.

Ralph Marston

Well, that is certainly one way to look at the issue, and one I have embraced for a very long time. However, one might consider the following words:

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Steve Jobs

One guy says you shouldn’t lower your expectations, and another says that in the grand scheme of things, expectations pale compared to what is truly important.

The boulder is perched on yet another small summit. Endless such summits are within view. What to do?

You Can Accomplish Anything You Set Your Mind On

Well, no I can’t! I cannot become a fighter pilot in the Air Force. I cannot become a heart surgeon nor can I become CEO of Microsoft. In fact, give me half an hour and I’ll give you a rather lengthy list of things I have no prayer of accomplishing. There comes a time, for all of us, when our expectations are so outrageous as to fit nicely under the category of fantasy, and I think therein lies the central truth worth mentioning, understanding and embracing.

Expectations must be realistic. If my expectation is to write as well as Hemingway then I’m in for a few more decades of disappointment and self-chastisement based on that disappointment. If, however, my expectation is to become a writer who is constantly improving, then I have a very real chance of achieving that goal. Notice I did not say I wanted to be the best writer that Bill Holland can be, because that is a trap of quicksand from which there is no escape. The only one who can determine how good Bill Holland can be is Bill Holland, and a physician who treats himself has a fool for a patient.

So I struggle from time to time, keeping my logical mind firmly locked on reality while my subconscious mind, the one bombarded with messages over the past sixty-four years, insists on seeking that which cannot possibly be attained.

It is exhausting being me, and I suspect quite a few of you can say the same thing about yourselves.

A pretty heavy weight
A pretty heavy weight | Source

One Dilemma We All Face

What is a realistic expectation?

There are some, and I know quite a few of them, who set expectations so low that they in effect doom themselves to a life of mediocrity.

There are others, like myself, who set expectations so high that we doom ourselves to a life of guaranteed failure.

And there are others who attempt the impossible, namely to live up to the expectations of others. Blessed be the foolish for they will inherit the Kingdom of Frustration, for a life based on the expectations of others has no chance at happiness, and what a dismal outlook that is.

Can any of you relate? Have any of you based your happiness on the judgments of others? On the opinions of others? On the wishes of others, and the ridiculously myopic hopes of others? You can’t win that battle, so collect your severance pay and step out of the competition.

The first step is the most important one

So What Should We All Do, Bill?

Oh sure, turn to Mr. Overachiever for the answer! Well, luckily for you my own self-reflections have given me the answer, and I’m going to share it with you.

Listen closely…..are you ready?

Love yourself!

Listen, I am a spiritual being having a human experience, and as such I will have days when my wings are clipped and the highest I can fly is a couple inches off the ground, barely clearing the slugs and centipedes. There are other days when I will soar with the angels and understand, for brief moments, what it must be like to find complete freedom from earthly constraints.

That’s just the way it is, and my job is to find acceptance in that fact and love myself no matter whether I am dragging butt or looking down on treetops.

There will be some days when I will write a sentence, or a paragraph, or God forbid an entire page, and Hemingway will feel threatened from his grave. There will be some days when a first grader at the local elementary school, writing in block letters, will be my equal if not my superior.

Oh well!

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Thank you Tennyson!

And Halleluiah I say to all of you, for no matter what kind of day I have, I still love myself….and that, dear readers, is the secret to living with expectations, no matter their source.

I must love myself enough to set realistic expectations and then do everything I can to meet them.

I must love myself enough to understand that the expectations of others regarding me should have no more importance than the daily stock report

And I must love myself enough to find acceptance in the undeniable fact that I am only human.

Peacefulness
Peacefulness

And When the Shadows Fall

When I am drawing my last breath, and the shadows that began at birth finally reach the end of their journey, I want it said that here lies a man who left nothing on the field, who gave every ounce of effort to be the best he could be, and who found peace in the realization that life was meant to be lived….not merely existed…but lived to the fullest.

I wish, for all of you, the same final realization.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out what to do with my boulder.

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”

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    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Beautiful advice for this fine Monday morning and seriously once again couldn't agree more with you Bill on so much of this, especially loving yourself! Hope you are having wonderful day so far and have, of course, voted up and shared, too.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, my day has just begun and it's going to be a busy one. Thanks for being the first and for always being here, and have a great day.

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      Elizabeth Parker 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Fantastic hub, Bill. And to answer your initial question of meeting my own expectations- the answer is no! It could be that I set my goals to high and then each day I raise the threshold. LOL. I love what you said about days when a first grader is your equal. I wrote a hub the other day and for the life of me, couldn't stop making mistakes upon mistakes. Thankfully, I re-read it and corrected them, but some days writing 1000 words takes me 30 minutes and other days, it can take me all day! Thanks for a motivational hub. I need that today!!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey Liz, welcome and thank you! I would be shocked if any writer breezes through the process each and every day....and if they say they do I think they are telling a big old fib. LOL

      I appreciate you my friend. Have a great Monday doing your thing.

      bill

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      You have such high expectations! But that is the way to go if you want to move forward, and mean something during your life. I like the message about loving yourself.

      Thanks for another piece, my friend. Have a wonderful day!

      ~ Kathryn

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      We all have our moments when we feel like throwing in the towel, then out of the blue we perk up and want to write again, funny how that happens. So many good writers have left HP, it makes me sad. Your writing is an inspitation to keep on trying..Thank you Bill...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ruby and I agree with you, it is sad that so many have left HP. Honestly I'm only here because of my friends like you. HP has really given me no reason to stay, but I don't want to lose these connections with real people who I consider good friend.s

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Kathryn! Yes, my expectations are high, but I also know what I am capable of, and I can't see leaving potential on the table when there might not be a tomorrow. :)

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      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      I love your last line, Bill. You got a chuckle out of this little girl. I'll keep this short because I want to watch your video. I don't live up to or even try to live up to the expectations of others. My problem is I expect too much too soon from myself and end up frustrated and moving backwards as the result. It's time for reflection and time to be realistic about my goals and allow time to get a handle on each step. That's the only way I'll succeed. I know it. Now I gotta do it!

    • grandmapearl profile image

      Connie Smith 3 years ago from Southern Tier New York State

      Billy, my friend, I am familiar with that boulder, except mine is a very heavy empty hay wagon! I guess my grandparents' dairy farm must have something to do with that. Nonetheless, the darn thing keeps wanting to roll back down the hill, no matter how hard I haul on it. I CAN RELATE!

      The nice thing about that hay wagon is the realization: what's the worst that can happen if I let it go and it rolls all the way down the hill?

      After all, it's just me and the wagon.

      Awesomely thought-provoking stuff, as always my friend. You are an amazing person ;) Pearl

      Voted Up+++++

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 3 years ago from sunny Florida

      Taking a look at our expectations and reflecting on what we really want IS a way for us to grow and become the best we as individuals can become. My life's goal is really to live every day, to the fullest. Nothing to me is more important than that. Don't get me wrong...I have other less important goals but as with each of us, events have called me to reevaluate what is really of value and redefine what I see as success and I am thankful I have come to that realization

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Billy We are blessed to know. Angels are on the way ps

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, easier said than done, but you are right on! Now...how bad do you want it? :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nah Pearl, I'm just a guy who happens to care about others....I want to think most people do. :)

      Thank you....hay wagon...I love it! Sometimes we just have to step aside and let that sucker roll down the hill. Love that, too. :)

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      PS, I am happy for you....that was a tough realization to come to and you earned it through pain and tears....blessings to you always my friend.

      bill

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      Mark G Weller 3 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Well said Bill, so many of us allow the expectations of others to weigh us down. Or as you said, set personal goals that are unattainable.

      Mark

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      Liz Davis 3 years ago from Hudson, FL

      I'm not sure, but I think perhaps we are kindred spirits. ;-)

      I constantly downplay my achievements and inflate my failures. I always remind myself that these are only thoughts and not a reflection of reality. Still, emotions interfere with contentment and happiness, so this is a challenge.

      There are several educational kids shows that I like, but unfortunately the message is the same throughout all of them: you can do anything that you want to do (that specific wording is from Blues Clues). The stars of the show (it doesn't matter which show) face a challenge, hit a few bumps along the way, and gain victory in the end. The truth is, you *can't* do anything that you want to do, and sometimes things don't go your way even when you try your best. It's sad, but the self-esteem movement has done more harm than good.

      Thank you for sharing your kryptonite, Superman!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lizzy, you just raised a very important issue....telling kids they can do anything is just setting them up for failure and poor self-esteem. My parents taught me the value of hard work, but they never once taught me that I could accomplish anything....because I can't. Duh!

      Thank you for that.....and I have no doubt that we are kindred spirits.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, I played that game for many years and now I'm taking my marbles and going home. That game was breaking me down and I refuse to do it any longer. :)

      Thanks buddy!

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      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Bill, another thought provoking write!....I believe that when we know ourselves, know our strengths and weaknesses...know what it is that we truly want, and can focus and work within realistic Constraints we can reach our goals.

      As you so rightly said; our expectations should be realistic and achievable.

      It seems that the people who achieve the most success in life, are those who do what they really love doing, you could not separate them from what they do, or those who are so doggedly determined that success just seems to follow naturally. However, success comes in different ways, for me, it is a life well lived with few regrets, and making the most of what time I have left on this trip they call life. :)

      As always a stimulating read, take care and my best to you.

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      Graham Lee 3 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Keep pushing the bolder Bill. Tennyson was right. If we do what we can in life and we did our best, then we can say as Winston Churchill once did '' Our consciences are at rest''

      Graham.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Graham...I like that....my conscience is at rest. :) I could live with that my friend.

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      Lori Colbo 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      This was an excellent read. All of us can identify. I heard a sermon recently in which the speaker talked about how all his life he struggled with feeling worthy of God's love (this kind of thing also is about feeling he has any value) because he always had a mental yardstick, and figured God had one too. He knew intellectually God loves us unconditionally because the Bible says so and he preached this as most good ministers do. Here he was in middle age and it was still a struggle. He decided to go on a personal retreat to a cabin up in the mountains to pray and meet with God. In the middle of the night one night he woke up and kind of wrestled with God on this. What he felt he heard from God was, "Jay, you don't need to know I love you, you need to know you're lovable, and you are." At last he was set free of his angst, and he finally accepted that he because he was lovable in the eyes of God, he could accept and value himself. His life and ministry were transformed. He broke his mental yardstick. Once in awhile, like all of us, he feels himself slipping back into old thought patterns, but he knows whom to go to for that.

      Yes, we are human, we are flawed, and have a propensity to mess up. Recognizing this in my own life I have learned to breathe a sigh of relief knowing I can go to God for help, because he loves me just as I am and is only too happy to walk beside me and show me how to overcome. Having said this, by no means have I arrived. I can get out my metal toed boots and kick myself silly when I mess up. But I know where to go and I do. For the first time in my life, I see my value not in what I do or don't do, but because my Creator loves and values me because I am his child.

      Let's all take our yardsticks and burn them.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, thank you for a perfectly beautiful comment. A life well lived....few regrets....making the most of the time left....if ever there was a definition of success, that is it my dear friend.

      blessings always

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL....Lambservant, I love your last line...let's just burn the yardsticks. Yes indeed, what a liberating action that would be.

      I think for the rest of the day I'll slip out of my steel toed boots and give myself a break.

      Thank you for your wisdom.

      blessings always

      bill

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      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      I don't think we are ever totally satisfied with what we do..That would be impossible. After I paint a picture and decide it is finished..I still keep on looking for something I can improve upon. You are working hard, you are a good writer and your words get read.....However, you advice and assistance is always so valuable..Pinning in your pin box.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Great advice, Bill. Developing realistic and stimulating expectations isn't easy, but you've given some good guidance.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Carol.....finding the right balance has always been my biggest job....and it continues. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Alicia, thank you...now if I can only follow my own advice. LOL

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 3 years ago from Washington State, USA

      Are we twins born of different parents? You speak to my feelings of inadequacy. Thank you for another insightful and thought-provoking hub. Loving yourself and loving others is really the key isn't it? When you draw those final breaths I doubt you will regret having written one less story.

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 3 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Bill, I love this line:

      " I am a spiritual being having a human experience..."

      Says it all, doesn't it?

      Using baseball analogy, there were days when Dad could've blindfolded me, and I still would have pitched strikes. When the sense of vision is impaired, muscles have a memory all their own.

      Then, there were days when I tried so hard to control where that ball was going...and it ended up flying all over the place.

      And so one of my life mantras that has sustained me throughout the second half of my life is to just let it go. LET IT GO! I must let the illusion that I could ever have control over things, over life, over destiny...go.

      You are one of the most hard-working individuals I have ever encountered in my life. We who experience you as fellow writers, readers, students, peers, and friends not only see amazing expectations--we see diligent follow-through and delivery. Even when you think you fail, you are making an impact in other people's lives.

      Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking piece, Bill. See you at the next hill!

      ~Joe

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carb, I'm adopted so anything is possible. LOL Thank you and you are right of course....it always comes down to the amount of love in our lives. :) Thank you!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Joe, you always give me added food for thought with your comments, and this one was a banquet.

      Let it go! Or as another wise man once told me....."give it up, Bill. The war is over and you lost!" LOL

      I'm having a blast, buddy. I'm like a kid in a candy shop. I get to write each and every day; I get to hang out with talented, quality people like you; and I don't see a boss anywhere in sight. How cool is that?

      Thanks my friend!

      Aloha

      bill

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      sheilamyers 3 years ago

      I never know where my expectations for myself will be each day. One day they're too high, another too low, and yet other days they're right in the middle somewhere. Maybe I'm wrong here but ... I bet you if I ever got evaluated I'd be on the list of people with ADHD so if, on any given day, I'm not meeting my expectations for whatever I'm working on I just move on to some other project.

    • bdegiulio profile image

      Bill De Giulio 3 years ago from Massachusetts

      Another great message Bill. Seems like we are always going uphill or against the tide. Expectations are a funny thing. Whether we meet them or not I think the important thing is to try and have realistic goals to work toward. I try not to worry about or dwell on other peoples expectation for me, I have enough trouble juggling my own life and expectations.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sheila, it may well be. I wish I had a day now and then when my expectations were too low. LOL I'll have to work on that.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Bill....no longer am I weighed down by the expectations of others. I have my hands full with my own. :)

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Very true words. It is finding the happy balance I suppose. Not too much to fall short from but not little as to lose self with.

      The important goals as you so cleverly pointed out; are only the ones which make you truly happy. Of which we aren't talking monetary or published masterpieces.

      You produce inspiring and well written work everytime. You should have no doubts that you are definately achieving your tagline goal and in that process helping others.

      Anna :)

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      Heidi Thorne 3 years ago from Chicago Area

      Glad to see I'm not the only one with Sisyphus Syndrome. Hope today's boulder roll goes well. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Heidi, today it rolled very smoothly, but I have no illusions that tomorrow will be the same...or is that delusions? LOL

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Anna, you are very kind. Thank you! I'm just glad I finally figured out what is important in life before it was too late.

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hi Dearest Bill,

      Yes, if we all could just see ourselves as our Lord God sees us, His beautiful creations and loves us despite our flaws and expectations. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart. That is a promise He has made, and I claim that promise everyday. This is what I believe, as I believe His Word is pure truth. We are able to love ourselves for He first loved us, if not, we cannot love others, how sad! I do know one truth and that is no matter what we may achieve I this life, for me, there would always be that empty hole inside of us that is never satisfied until we have that personal relationship with Him, even when we are successful in the world's view, which certainly is distorted to say the least.

      I am glad you love yourself, as that is how you are able to love all the rest of us : )

      We do have to have realistic expectations, but we must never stop dreaming.

      Hugs and love, Faith Reaper

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 3 years ago

      So much wisdom here in your hub, and all the comments

      given. At this stage in my life, I want to soak up all the wisdom and knowledge that I can find. Just wish I could remember it all! LOL

      I wonder if you are pushing that boulder up the mountain just to see what is on the other side of the mountain? Is it about the boulder or is it about the mountain? You can still go over the mountain and feel the rush of accomplishment. No real need to take that heavy boulder along.

      When you walk over that mountain, people are going to point

      and shout, "Look! That man just walked over that tall mountain. What a guy!"

      They are not going to look at each other and ask,

      "Do you think he failed because he did not push a boulder over that mountain?"

      And, when you cross over that mountain top, you will see over 16 hundred hubbers cheering you on.

      You encouragement others.

      You have touched many lives.

      We appreciate all your efforts.

      DJ.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DJ, you always talk about the way I encourage others, and yet every time I read one of your comments I feel better about myself. I thank you sincerely for that gift my friend.

      I might just give your suggestion a try. :)

      bill

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ah yes, Faith, we must never stop dreaming. What would life be without the dreamers of the world? A terribly boring and predictable place I'm afraid.

      I'll keep dreaming if you do the same. Deal?

      sending blessings and a hug your way

      bill

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      Cynthia Calhoun 3 years ago from Western NC

      I often, OFTEN have people tell me I'm incredibly hard on myself. But, I have these crazy-high expectations and yes, I get mad when I don't reach them. I get mad and try harder. And harder.

      I'm going to have to learn to tame some of those goals. But, I know one thing: I'm not one to complain. I take action. I will not resign myself to a life of mediocrity and if I look back and I'm disappointed in the things I DIDN'T try, then I didn't do well enough. I am proud to say I tried the life of a writer for a year. It beat me up. But I learned a lot: about myself, about life, about what's important, about my own needs. And I wouldn't have learned those if I hadn't tried. Then, the expectations. I expected more of myself. I expected perfection and to be able to make a go at it immediately. No, it didn't happen. It happened on some level for sure, but...I'm actually glad it didn't. Sometimes, when we don't meet our expectations, we find ourselves on a path we didn't know we'd be on...and actually happier for it. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lil' Sis, I'm not sure there is anything I can add to that profound comment...seriously, you just summed it all up perfectly, so I'm going to leave it as is. Thank you my friend!

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      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      "Self love is an inside job." How appropriate. I love your video. I love your honesty. I love your writing and the way I am filled with inspiration. I love your "peacefulness" photo. I love you! ~ Audrey

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audrey, a smile of gratitude spread across my face as I read your comment. What a doll you are. Thank you my dear comrade.

      love,

      bill

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      Barbara Radisavljevic 3 years ago from Templeton, CA

      I think I've stopped planning beyond each day, except for what I have to put on the calendar in commitment to others. I plan what I hope to accomplish in a day within the context of a larger goal, but I also realize every day that I'm not guaranteed another day. I am beyond making long term plans or goals. I do what I can and don't fret if I can't do everything I'd hoped. I'm not so sure anymore life is about doing. I think it's about being.

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      Martin Kloess 3 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. I am a good example of why a person should live a good life. Though I am losing my body, I have my accomplishments.

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      Suzette Walker 3 years ago from Taos, NM

      Bill: I'm chuckling - very entertaining piece filled with some wise words and observations. Expectations - they can kill ya! We all have to find a balance in life - live life, but have enough expectations to make your life a worthy one - a purposeful life. Writers are generally an intense people, but we have to be sure we don't go through life with blinders on. I am heartened to hear when you take a ten mile (or whatever) walk around Olympia, because you broaden your horizon. At the same time, I think I know enough about you that on that walk you are gleaning writing topics from what you see and hear. Nothing wrong with multi-tasking. LOL Thanks for reminding us what is important in life. Great read. Voted up and shared.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      WannaB, thank you for sharing your thoughts on life. I can certainly understand that outlook...there simply are no guarantees. :)

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      And Martin, you certainly have many accomplishments. Well done my friend and thank you.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suzette, now I'm chuckling. That's exactly what I did, and two hubs were born along that walk. LOL Sigh! I have some work to do on balance.

      Thank you as always and have a great day.

      bill

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      Suzanne Ridgeway 3 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Hi Bill,

      Oh how I could relate to this one. I was forever being told I was too hard on myself and could not take compliments. Even today while I have become more realistic with expectations I can still be hard on myself. That mountain at times, as you said, seems scaled only to find it was actually a hill. So true!

      Another great article and wisdom from you my friend. Loving ourselves enough will enable us to move that boulder!

      Voted up, useful, awesome, interesting, shared!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suzie, still to this day I cannot take a compliment. I just figure the person is being nice but really doesn't mean it. LOL Is there any hope for us? :)

      Good to see you Irish! I hope your day has been a good one so far.

      bill

    • Mark Johann profile image

      Mark Johann 3 years ago from Italy

      I remember when Napoleon Hill also said that whatever your mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. It looks like the same with your concept here.

      And I really believe in that. If you have a powerful mind and able to control it, all is possible.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mark, I believe that too. I don't believe all things are possible, but we certainly increase our chances of success if we increase the power of our minds.

      Thank you Sir!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      I share your viewpoint, Bill. Living life to the fullest (without harming others) is the ONLY WAY to go! Sometimes folks are their own worst enemies.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      drbj, without a doubt, some people can't get out of their own way.....what a frustrating roadblock that is.

      I hope you are having a great week my friend. Thank you!

    • CraftytotheCore profile image

      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      To answer your question Billy, I am not meeting my own expectations. The answer is rather simple. I can't seem to pull myself away from all of the interesting Hubs people publish here and I find myself continuously distracted. Constantly reading and learning new things has seriously taken a toll over my own daily goals! LOL

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Crafty, I know the feeling well. I felt like I had an addiction when I first came to HP. LOL I appreciate you stopping by. Thank you!

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      Amazing hub. Still not sure what to expect for myself, really.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      vkwok, you'll figure it out in time my friend.

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      You know, I don't have expectations in my equation. I do the best that I can, and my readers tell me how successful I am. I have evolved a great deal and stepped onto unknown paths. I keep my grin on my face, and tend to watch things from the background. I sit in the branches of the tree, await my avian friends, and laugh at some of the silly things that go on under and around me. I just write, and it spews forth, and I just hit "publish".

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deb, I say hooray for you. Life would be so much easier if I didn't expect so much from myself.....still, it keeps me trying to become better. I wish I could trust my readers to tell me how successful I am, but most are friends who would never say a negative word. :)

    • picklesandrufus profile image

      picklesandrufus 3 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

      You asked a good question and gave a good answer. Be reasonable with your expectations and do you very best. Then be satisfied. Good read, as always!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pickles, it's that "be satisfied" thing I'm still working on. :) Thank you and enjoy your weekend.

    • profile image

      Guadalupe 3 years ago

      For some of it I take him along. For things like pens, pnlices, cases, markers, binders etc I have him pick out what he likes. For the clothes I go alone, he is only 10 and it will not be long before he insists on picking out his own.;0)

    • profile image

      Tyya 3 years ago

      A really good answer, full of raiionaltty!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Guadalupe, not long at all my friend. Thank you for the visit.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tyya, thank you for stopping by. It's always nice to hear from new visitors.

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