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Assertive Communication skills: Magic of words

Updated on February 17, 2015

Assertive Communication skills

Assertive Communication skills

Assertive communication skills imparts you the magic of words, by which you learn to speak effectively and take stand for your rights without invading other’s rights. An assertive communication mends both, your personal and business relationships. These magical words let you triumph a win-win solution to problems and leave positive impact on others. There are some people, who are blessed with assertive skills naturally, but one can achieve it by practice.

Why Assertive Communication

Some time, you come across such people, who try to control and manipulate you by invading your rights. Assertive communication skills enable you, how to respond in such situation and how to do magic with words. Assertiveness empowers you to safeguard your rights by telling others their limits, in a positive and healthy way; on the other hand, it imparts you to safeguard others rights by knowing your limits.

Usually, people respond to an undesirable situation in two ways, passively or aggressively. People with passive approach try to say yes to every demand by others and become agree easily with others opinions. May be, they practice it just to avoid clash and keep peace. But by doing this, they are conveying a message that they consider their opinions and thoughts inferior to other’s opinions and thoughts. People start taking them for granted and take advantage of them.

On the other hand, there are some people who are aggressive. Such people neglect other’s opinions and thoughts. They just impose their opinions on others. Aggressive people usually get what they want but in long run they lose respect, regard and affection from others.

While, people with assertive communication approach, are very balanced between both, passive and aggressive. They value other’s feelings and also acknowledge their own rights. Assertive people are best in communication and quick in decision making. They are well aware of, when and how to say “No”. They know how to do magic with words. This helps them in achieving respect and self-esteem.

How to achieve Assertive communication skills

If you are, passive or aggressive, in your communication style, you can change it. Though, changing a long practiced communication way is difficult, but not impossible. Following are few tips to achieve an assertive communication style.

1. Give value to yourself, then others will give value to you.

2. Try to express your opinions, regardless of fear that they will reject it.

3. Analyze your voice and tone, if it is low and shivers then try to improve it; if your voice is louder and aggressive then try to lower it.

4. Practice your tone in front of mirror, it will help you to achieve an assertive style of communication.

5. Think before you speak in undesirable situation.

6. Avoid to use harsh words, select moderate but clear words, for example, at the last moment one of your colleague asks you to take a project for him/her and you are already on your toes, then say no this way, “I like to help you but at the moment, I can’t take more projects.”

7. Always be firm but calm in your communication.

8. Assertiveness not only comes through words, but your body language also does matter. Always try to look firm and confident. Make good eye contact with others, during conversation. Have confident and positive facial expressions.

9. Try to control your emotions, never let others know that you are angry or frustrated.

10. Never challenge other’s opinions, everybody has a right to express their opinions.

Assertive communication skills cannot be adopted overnight; it can be learned and improved by practice. You can fail in your many attempts, but never give up. Your consistency is going to polish you and land you in win- win situations.


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    • curious dreamer profile image

      Mahesh Mohan 

      5 years ago from India

      Informative article.......... thank you for sharing .........

      Voted up.........

    • uzma shaheen profile imageAUTHOR

      Uzma Shaheen Bhatti 

      6 years ago from Lahore,Pakistan

      @KatrineDM: thank you very much for stopping by. your appreciation is really valuable for me.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I love this hub. An art of communication is a skill that must be learnt and perfected in order to be efficient. Words have power, and so does attitude. Great tips here, thank you.

    • uzma shaheen profile imageAUTHOR

      Uzma Shaheen Bhatti 

      6 years ago from Lahore,Pakistan

      @suhail: in fact, I also felt a lack of assertiveness in my communication and started studying the topic. this study led me to write this hub. I am happy you found it useful. in our day to day communication, this is very important to learn such techniques.

      thank you very much for liking and commenting. you are always a motivation.

    • Suhail and my dog profile image

      Suhail Zubaid aka Clark Kent 

      6 years ago from Mississauga, ON

      Very useful hub indeed. I know that I am going to learn a lot from here.

      One of my weaknesses is that I am loud during meetings only on those agenda items that interest me and if someone tries to be invasive and manipulative, I show my anger straight away. Therefore, once again, I have some personal take-aways from your hub. Thank you for sharing Uzma.


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