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Avoided Conflict

Updated on November 26, 2009

Just Don't!

Don't say that, don't do that, don't think that, don't imply that.

What has this world come to? Sensitive or not, everyone is going to say something that will invariably offend someone else's sensitivities. Even if the entire concept was to inform, someone will be afraid of the ramifications of the words that come from someone else.

Several years ago I was talking to some co-workers. The subject morphed into "man purses." I remarked that the only men I ever saw carry one of these "man purses" were black men. Nothing disparaging, right? Well I got called into the supervisor's office because someone overheard our conversation and believed that one of the people in my work group may have become offended because of what I said. The lady to whom I refer is an extremely fair lady of African descent. Her daddy was a black man, her momma was white. She grew up in all kinds of heck in the 1950's and 60's. She was more pale than me, and had pretty blue eyes. I did not even know she was a black woman at the time, but my comment was an innocent observation.

I explained this to the supervisor and all was cleared in a matter of seconds. Then I talked to my friend and she was more offended that someone would think she would have been upset by my comment than my comment itself.

When is too far too far? When is my right to observe, to comment, to believe something infringing on someone else's civil rights? What about my rights? What about the rights of the black men who proudly carry their "man purses" to ensure they have all the proper metro-sexual skincare items, and cell phone, and DayTimer? it is perfectly fine to carry a satchel to carry your things, regardless of gender.

Oh, did I step on a gender foot too? One of the people in my work-group was a man, and incidentally, the one who brought up the subject in the first place.

I am living in a world of the 1980's again because someone someplace may take my innocent comment and have their feelings hurt. The US Army gives out "time out" cards to their recruits when they feel stressed. For goodness sakes! Stress in boot camp? Of course! Isn't it better to be de-sensitized to that here, in the care of people who are trying to make you the best you can be, or would it be better to issue you stress cards to give to your enemy combatants when they capture you and torture you for military secrets, or to convert you to their beliefs? When is this world going to wake up? It is not 1950 any more, but everyone should wear steel toe shoes so that their feelings won't get hurt when they're stepped on.

When I am employed I get to work early, I stay late, I work through lunch. Rarely do I request OT for this time. I owe it to the company that has chosen to hire me to give them my best. To come in late every day is unconscionable, and unacceptable. To not drop what I am doing to help a team mate is a ridiculous concept! But, it seems, if you rush your slower team mates so they can catch up, that is being a non team-player! Yep! There is a new concept. Try to help and be pegged pushy instead of encouraging.

I am militaristic and abrasive. Just ask one of my former supervisors. Militaristic: I expected people to work while they were at work. Abraisve? Oh hush and stop fussin! If you spent as much time working as you do fusing about having work to do, you'd be done with it by now. Yep! I'm a terrible person, alright! I have work ethic, determination, dilligence, and responsibility. Shame on me!

I think PC has gone too far. Don't speak. Don't let them know that you have an opinion that differs from someone else. Don't you EVER have an idea and give credit where it's due! Those are heinous crimes that deserve public flogging.

PC is dead, let it stay that way and stop being so sensitive! Times change. We've all suffered our own disparity and our own inequalities. We all have negative History to live through. Why does one believe that their rights should over-rule the rights of another?

I am now stepping down off my soap box. I'm sure I've offended someone. :-)


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