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Goodbye and Farewell.

Updated on May 9, 2020

When the pain began I was filled with rage, no one to help nor fill the next chapter. But then there you were, there to aid, to preserve and nurture.

Those years were filled with emotion, so much pain and sadness, but the light of your love helped me through the shadows. Had I not stood by you, I believe the abyss would have swallowed me, wallowing in self pity but you there always to help me.

The kind and the loving, the strong and the brooding. So much I have learned from the duo of the past, but alas, that age has long passed. No longer can I hear the words of encouragement, the sound of your laughter, no longer can I feel the warmth of your love, the touch of your compassion, the feeling of family everlasting. Nothing more then memories of what had happened, of what I loved about it, of what it felt like to be saved, cared for, aided, cured, no more I fear.

The stars they say hold the souls of the dead, up there they watch down upon the living family they had to leave behind, I wonder when I look up into the night sky behind the clouds and stars. Where may I find you?

I would push the heavens away with all my strength, search till my bones ache, till my body can no longer continue, to move and react. Yes. I would go to each continent, each state and country, Heaven and Hell till the reaper himself drags me down below for I am who the bell tolls for.

Far gone now, but it wouldn't be far, your time has passed and it would be selfish for me to wish you back. To carry you from each others arms back to me, no I have aged. I am older, I am stronger, I am smarter and kinder. More level-headed, more clever and loving, just like you wanted me to be. What you taught me to be, me wishing you back would just undo all that you have taught me, and you have taught me too much for me to make it all go to waste for a selfish desire.

Up there in the sky, where you wait, where you stand at the ready for me and her to join. I wish you love, I wish you happiness, I wish you everlasting excitement. Just like you wanted for me.

You taught me how to act like a man, to stand up for those who cannot do it themselves, to help people in need, to stay strong to my devotions and my dreams, to continue standing even after I had just been knocked down, you taught me how to care and how to act as I should in society.

No longer am I that terrible kid, that boy who would hurt people to get home, who would lie and steal, that terrible kid who went against the law and even tried to take a life for the sake of not leaving you even when I was a young boy of twelve.

I have changed. I try hard to do what I need to do to succeed, I try to care for others even when it feels as if I care nothing at times, you showed me a new path. One that would not end in death and sorrow for myself and others, without you there I cannot say what my rage would have made me become. But you didn't give up, even with your old fashioned ways, you still did what was right for me and her.

Even as each day comes and goes, as the years pass and I slowly turn into an old man myself. I will never forget you, I will never let those happy memories go, nor will I allow myself to be corrupted by those you helped me turn away from. No words will ever express how I feel, but for now it will have to.]

I love you, for now till my body rots in the ground and after. When a world of darkness only showed me hate and pain you showed me how to endure it, a gift I could never repay.

Wherever you may be, wherever you may lay, know that I love you. And I always will.


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