Being Optimistic through Adversity
People who are optimists manage to maintain a positive outlook, even during the most difficult times. This does not mean that they avoid facing the problem and falsely believe in an unrealistic outcome, but rather they can view the situation while recognizing life's realities and limitations. Those who are optimistic are more likely than pessimists to be active problem solvers and to seek information that can help them through such difficulties. They do not give up at the first sign of a setback or escape into defeatist thinking; instead they view obstacles as a message to try something different and learn even more about the situation. Optimists keep their sense of humor, plan for the future, and reinterpret any negative situation into a positive light. They are able to do this with the help of methods like these mentioned below.
1. Reappraise the situation.
There are just
some things we can not control; we can not control things such as the thoughts
or behaviors of other people, weather conditions or even a job loss due to
downsizing. But you can control how you choose to view the situation.
The way you think about a situation provokes how you are emotionally
affected by it. If you tend to believe that bad things always happen to you,
that someone is out to get you, that you
have bad luck. Then you may end up feeling victimized, helpless, angry, or
defeated by the situation. These usually result in negative actions that
further create negative reactions and situations.
Reappraisal of a situation by thinking the situation through at every
possible angle can turn anger towards others into understanding, worry and fear
into determination, and feelings of loss into views of opportunity. Gaining a
more positive perspective can drive you to create positive steps, which in turn
creates positive reactions and situations.
To sum it up, being negative creates negative situations that serve to hold
you back, while being positive creates positive situations that serve to move
you forward.
2. See the experience as a learning opportunity.
People who
experience traumatic events or life-threatening illnesses may report that the
experience made them stronger, more resilient, even better human beings who
grew and learned from the event. It’s having this kind of attitude where the
saying “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger” is very well fitting.
Those who draw lessons from the inescapable tragedies of life and find
meaning in them are far better off emotionally and physically than people who dwell
on the negative aspects of the situation. They are the ones who thrive as a
result of adversity instead of simply surviving and being pulled down by it.
The ability
to find positive meaning and benefits even during the worst adversity seems
crucial to the psychological recovery. This positive outlook can even slow down
the course of serious diseases.
Some people emerge from adversity with newly acquired skills as they became
confronted with perspectives (from the reappraisal of their position) from the
situation that allowed them to learn something they had not known or even
considered before. Others may even discover sources of courage and strength that
they did not know they had.
3. Making social comparisons.
During
difficult times, those who are successful at coping in difficult situations
tend to compare themselves to others who they feel have it even worse than they
do. This serves to make them grateful that things are not THAT BAD for
them.
Others who are successful at coping may take an opposite approach and
seek out the advice and support of others who have overcome their own
misfortune, or join a support network with others who have overcome a similar
situation. Doing so, is a way to gather knowledge and strength for coping,
managing, or improving a stressful situation. If you have overcome or are
working through a difficult situation yourself, sharing your own experiences of
overcoming adversity to provide support to others during their own difficult
times can also help you view your own situation in a more positive light.
4. Find the
humor in the situation.
Humor does
have benefits as a style of coping with stressful situations, as long as it is
the kind of humor that allows you to see the silly aspects of the problem in
order to gain a lightened sense or to gain better control over the situation.
However, sarcastic, dark or hostile humor just tends to make matters worse as
this is a negative form of humor. Remember that negative thoughts and behaviors
result in more negatives, while positive thoughts and behaviors result in more
positives. Therefore, people who can see the absurd or whimsical aspects of a
bad situation will end up overcoming the problem better than people who give in
to gloom, moping and tears.
5. Regulate your negative emotions.
Confess your
deepest thoughts and feelings by writing them down; speaking into a recorder;
or talking with a trusted friend, family member or therapist who will provide
you with support. By getting your negative emotions out there, it allows you
the chance to see the experience in a new perspective and to gain insight into
the origins of your problems, as well as to let go of resentment, grudges,
anger, and blame. But do not dwell on these negative thoughts as they will pull
you down. Practice getting those negative feelings out, and then letting them
go.
6. Take
control of what you can.
Even if you
are suffering from a medical or psychological condition, you can control what
kind of treatment you gain. You are in charge of your well-being. So let the
final say in these decisions be something that you feel will better your
situation.
7. Practice Good Health Habits.
When people get overly stressed or ill they often stop taking care of themselves. Some of these ways are drinking alcohol or self medicating too much, not getting enough exercise, and not eating well. Taking care of you now is not only important for prevention of illness but also for your emotional recovery and physical well being. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you are more apt to physically feel worse, which leads to lower emotional stability. Be sure that taking care of your health, in the best way you can, is your top priority.
Realize that coping with stress does not mean trying to live without pain, problems, or losses, as these are simply inevitable processes of life. However, it does mean to learn how to live with the problems, work through them and make the best of the situation which allows us to grow and expand in life.
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