ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Brain Tumor/Surgery My Recovery Story: Chapter 2- Becoming My Own Superhero

Updated on February 26, 2011

Taking this internal stand for myself I fought through many “shoulds”.  I
should tell my son, sister, in –laws and friends.  I should take anti-seizure
medicine as a precaution.  I should schedule the surgery sooner.  I should
not go to Bimini.
Losing control over my life, becoming an antidote or making people mad
and not love me were crazy making thoughts that whorled around in my
brain.  Once again in reality those thoughts were thoughts that distracted
me from the real objective—Total Recovery.
So by forcibly not indulging in those thoughts, I created a quiet space for
reflection.  A space where I became a Super Hero to my self thus creating
a space for deliberate healing—LIFE.

It was in this space that I decided I wanted to actively participate in energetic healing and
prayer work… After all I had two months—perhaps the tumor would just go away.
I contacted a few friends whom I consider amazing energetic healers and people
who pray real good.  Told them of my situation and asked for assistance.  Much to
my delight every one I told not only said YES, made a joke so we could share a
hearty laugh and then very practically said  “Let/s get on with it!” 

Thru guided imagery an energetic healing a prayer a space was held so I could face the
unseen fear, see the origins and then release it back to the living loving light to whom
some of us call God.
I realized during this process that the end results or removal of the tumor wasn’t as im-
portant to me as remaining in that state of calmness knowing that all is and will be well.  


No matter what the choice—No Regrets

I am sitting in my hotel room in Bimini. The weather is changing. A big storm is brewing. There is no way off the island for three days. My temple, my eyebrow and cheekbone begin to hurt. I now realize that this pain which has been with me most of my life is a result of the tumor swelling. I am not taking anti seizure medicine as the doctor had recommended. I began to freak out. What if I have a seizure? There is no medical help on this island and I can’t leave for three days. I begin to beat myself up on the stupidity of this decision and then slowly began to realize that these thoughts and feelings are making me feel really bad. So bad that I am likely to create enough stress to cause my body to physically respond. I start to breathe, letting the calmness of the breath envelope my being. In a few moments I reach a state of calmness. In this state of calmness I realize the power of no regrets. Regrets holding me to the past—propelling me out of the now and creating disharmony. Forcibly I fight the fear. The weather passes and the pain goes away. I realize that the only danger I had been facing was the fear of my own thoughts.

“Shoulds are not a part of the equation in Love. They are but an illusion keeping people from living their life and loving one another.”

I found that shoulds are not real. They are truly an illusion of the mind. They sap energy and divert attention from healing. I realized that it is my life, no one else’s. I have the right to live it as I choose. When I was living in a place of shoulds I saw myself getting angry at the world and those who wanted to be a part of my life. I wanted to retreat so I wouldn’t feel so guilty or angry. The constant mind chatter was eating me up and draining energy that could be focused on healing. Only when I attuned to the reality that “This is my life” and I have the right to live it as I choose could I extend love, gratitude and compassion… for my self and to others. In this space healing was possible.


“The value of a Super Hero.”

By empowering myself
I stepped into a place of Super Hero. I took charge of my life and began to follow internal guidance. Guidance that was totally geared toward my life and my best interests. Everyone’s situation and challenge is different. The correct way for each of us to handle our challenges differs as well. When I became my own Super Hero, I was less confused about a course of action or decision. Internal Dialogues diminished and lost their grip. I felt stronger, no longer overwhelmed, no longer a victim; and I just knew the proper course of action to take for me.


“Choose your confidants well.”

I realized
I didn’t want to be engaged in certain types of conversations or be center stage at happy events for others. What I did want was to get well. So I carefully chose who and the number of people I told. This was a very crucial decision for me. It would have been too easy to engage in conversations where I was center stage for all of the wrong reasons. These conversations would have pushed me off course and defocused my intentions of Total Recovery.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • GPSWorldTraveler profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Washington State, USA

      Dream On, Things are amazing - as the 'T' shirt company says "Life is Good". Look forward to more conversations. Best to you...

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      7 years ago

      Thank you and fore most for finding me.I am enlightned by your life story.How has things changed since 19 months ago.Is there any surgery?Do you have to use chemo?I send you my love and peace and please keep writing and sharing.Have a good day.

    • GPSWorldTraveler profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Washington State, USA

      Thank you for reading my story of how I dealt with the diagnosis of a brain tumor.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)