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Can Things Change?

Updated on September 28, 2017
Jacqueline4390 profile image

Ms. Williamson is a Published Author and Educator with a Bachelor of Business, Master of Public Administration and Master of Science Degree!

What changes would you make?
What changes would you make?

Introduction

This question has been asked many times: Can things change? This is especially true if you are an older individual and your life seems to have been an endless roller coaster ride. If given the opportunity to change one instance in your life, would you? Some might be quick to answer: yes! There is one thing that you must remember, though. The changes that occur will not only affect you; it can also affect others as well.

The George Bailey Syndrome

Most people have seen the 1946 movie “It’s A Wonderful Life.” The main character, George Bailey is at the brink of suicide. It seemed forces beyond his control were manipulating him from disappointment to disaster. He wished he had never been born.

Many people have faced such a calamity, perhaps not to the extent of a George Bailey, but it appeared to be just as devastating. Being excluded from important decisions on your job that directly affected you can be disheartening. Looking forward to spending quality time with a spouse only to discover s/he has other commitments that cannot be delayed can be inacceptable. Your bills are increasing but your resources seem to be decreasing. This is just to name a few of the many things that happen in life. What to do?

There are three alternatives:

1. Do nothing and just hope things get better.

2. Talk it over with your family or a close friend.

3. Take drastic measures.

Let’s explore each of these alternatives. Of course, there could be others depending upon the extenuating circumstances. However, we will limit ourselves to these three alternatives.

Sometimes keeping things to yourself can be hard on a relationship
Sometimes keeping things to yourself can be hard on a relationship

Do Nothing

This is probably the easiest action to take and could possibly be the less prolific. Doing nothing means you are surrendering to the status quo in the hopes that things will just “change on their own.” Eventually, time does bring about a change. This change can either be for better or worse.

We will use as an illustration being on a job and not being chosen for a coveted position that would be a promotion. Your general feelings could be one of either disappointment or even anger. This is especially true if you considered yourself to be the obvious choice and someone from outside the company was chosen. By doing nothing or just being angry is counter-productive. The situation may never change unless you discover the rationale behind not being selected. There could be several:

· The newcomer has more experience in the position

· Your qualifications weren’t an exact fit

· Management wanted to incorporate a different prospective

· You are indispensable in your current position

· Disparaging comments were made regarding you

· You over-exaggerated your abilities for the job

Any one of these reasons could have been used in the selection of the best candidate. Doing nothing will not correct your problem. It could keep you stagnant in your present job.

However, if you were waiting for your in-grade increase which was postponed due to temporary budget cuts; doing nothing could represent a 50/50 proposition. Either once the company is solvent your increase is given or your co-workers and you could face layoffs. Doing nothing again may not be a viable alternative.

If the hiring manager is willing to have a one-on-one discussion with you; find out everything you can about why you weren't chosen.
If the hiring manager is willing to have a one-on-one discussion with you; find out everything you can about why you weren't chosen.

Talk It Over

Talking it over could be the best alternative. Referencing the previous example, discuss with your family how you feel about not being chosen for the position. Ask a good friend or relative to be candid but not judgmental. Try not to be over emotional or vindictive regarding the information s/he communicates to you. Remember, this is basically to help you—not a personal criticism of you. Be prepared for what is said.

The comments you receive from your family or friend may prompt you into wanting to speak to the hiring manager. If you can instigate such a meeting; that would be great. If you are on good terms with your present supervisor perhaps something can be arranged. Please remember to use the upmost tact and diplomacy when addressing someone who has the authority of making your job miserable or enjoyable. If you are told that you are indispensable, consider it a compliment and discuss ways where this can benefit both the company and you.

Discovering that disparaging remarks have been said regarding you can be disturbing. It can also be a way for you to correct any negative aspects in your personality. Seeking advice from this person is the first step on the road to better employee relationships.

If you and the position were not the perfect fit—inquire if there are courses available or additional training that could put you in a better position when another opening materializes. This also shows you are mature enough to accept not being selected and wish to improve your chances in the future.

If management wants to integrate a new prospective into the company, then this doesn’t mean that you were not qualified. It could mean however, that you might want to consider changing companies.

Not a very good alternative!
Not a very good alternative!

Take Drastic Measures

This is an alternative but not a very good one. Using the previous illustration, you decide to get revenge on the company and the hiring manager. You begin to sabotage the work of the new employee and spread distasteful chinwag about the company. Either you are rude and obnoxious or you are quiet and reserved. Whichever method you choose—you are determined not to be cooperative.

Seeking retribution can be a dangerous alternative. Generally, this will rebound with your immediate dismissal or even legal litigation. The tension in an office where people are not cooperative is not fostering a positive company cultural environment. Think carefully before undertaking this choice.

Doing physical harm to yourself or someone else will not be discussed because considering such an alternative needs to be discussed with a crisis management professional.

Remember the quote: "There is always help for those who ask for it?"
Remember the quote: "There is always help for those who ask for it?"

Closing Comments

In the movie It’s A Wonderful Life, George Bailey discovered how his life touched others in very positive ways. Although he didn’t seek help, it was made available to him through his wife. George had helped so many others and they were willing to help him. You can’t assume others are aware of your problems; you only need to ask for assistance.

You may not be privileged to have an extraordinary visitation by a celestial being. Nevertheless, there are people who care enough for you and are willing to listen to you discuss your feelings of disappointment as well as celebrate with you in your triumphs.

Can things change? This is a question that YOU can answer.

© 2017 Jacqueline Williamson BBA MPA MS

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    • Jacqueline4390 profile image
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      Jacqueline Williamson BBA MPA MS 3 months ago from Memphis

      Sometimes we allow complacency to rule our lives. Like an old friend, we welcome the habits of our daily lives. What would happen if for one day you abandoned your daily ritual and discovered at least one new thing. Have a one-day adventure!

    • Jacqueline4390 profile image
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      Jacqueline Williamson BBA MPA MS 3 months ago from Memphis

      Hello Pam

      I agree with your comments. The unknown is always daunting and this is why people are afraid of change. It takes stepping out of the box to truly embrace change. Just think of what wonderful things have transpired because of change: cars, airplanes, computers, telephones all because people were no longer able to accept the status quo. It there is no change there can be no growth!

    • Jacqueline4390 profile image
      Author

      Jacqueline Williamson BBA MPA MS 3 months ago from Memphis

      Hello to all you gracious readers! Thank you ever so much for your comments. As far as hair is concerned, be yourself. Yes, even with hair. It is so important not to try to look like someone else. I used to wear my hair long. After I lost it all during Chemotherapeutic treatments, I wear it short and sassy. Look in the mirror and ask that beautiful person you see looking back at you what looks best!

    • Pam Morris profile image

      Pam Morris 3 months ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Hi Jacqueline, interesting question. Can Things Change? I always enjoy reading your articles. But to attempt to answer, I believe things can change if people are willing to, but it doesn't seem to be enough people willing because they are afraid of changes so things either the same or going toward the worst. America needs a change, and my prayer is it comes soon, or it may not be any hope for the next generation or any of us.

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      bubble am 3 months ago

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    • Jacqueline4390 profile image
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      Jacqueline Williamson BBA MPA MS 3 months ago from Memphis

      "It's a Wonderful Life" is not only a classic film, it's true as well. We touch many hearts in life. Whether or not it motivates change is determined by the individuals involved. Thanks for dropping by!

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      Louise Powles 3 months ago from Norfolk, England

      I do believe things can change if people are willing. Yes very true, only the individual can answer this question. I've not seen A Wonderful Life. I really must watch that. It's a classic film.