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Changing Your Life Struggles

Updated on July 17, 2013

The Dark Tunnel

There will be times when life might take everything of earthly value away from you. There are so many people in our world who have experienced this, or presently going through it. If you are one of these people or know someone who is experiencing this, than this hub might benefit you. It is written by one who has gone through this dilemma and has come out of that dark tunnel. You might be aware of this tunnel; the one that never seems to end. That cliché there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, might be getting on your last nerves. This is understandable. The tunnel after all is dark and seems to go forever. I can share with you that it does end. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you are in it now, you will meet it. You cannot miss it. This hub is purposely being written without any claim to any religion or spiritual belief. It has to be, because the light at the end of the tunnel is not boxed in to them.

If you are seeking meaning to your experience, plus how to cope during it, this hub will offer you both. It can function as your road map if you please.

Living through horrific circumstances

Have you ever experienced horrific circumstances?

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Living through horrific circumstances

We most likely do know at least one person who has gone through horrific circumstances. Some might have made it through this, with more strength in character than they once had. You might have wondered how they managed to do this. Perhaps you are one of those people who has went through ghastly challenges and became stronger. We often wonder why one person does make it through, while another never seems to recover

Life Changes in an instant

Life can change in an instant

Life can easily turn upside down in an instant. There are many examples of the culprit that has caused this. A few of these offenders that interrupt our life are destructive weather, loss of a job, loss of a home, loss of a love one, or being a victim of a crime. All of these do occur in a New York second. Here today and gone tomorrow is the reality that many have faced in this earthly existence. Have you though ever wondered how one person makes it through their tragedy, while another never fully recovers? They both have had to take that journey through the long dark tunnel. They both had the opportunity to see the light at the end of their tunnel, but not everyone will reach it.

If you are in this tunnel, you will come to a place where you will have to make a choice. This choice we all have had to make. It is with this choice that some will leave the tunnel healthier, while others will exit it unwholesome. What is the choice? You have to decide to stay a victim or become a survivor. A victim never really leaves the tunnel. They are too wrapped up with blame. This holds them in position of looking backwards. As they continue to look back, their anger, blame and hatred are projected outwards to their past. This action produces cords to those areas and people who have victimized them. These cords are made up of the person’s thoughts, which grow into poisonous veins within them. The poison though travels back into them, so all their anger, blame and hatred attacks their physical and mental bodies.

Another way we can look at this is by viewing someone who had hurt us. This could have been a parent, a rapist, ex- lover or a family member. You throughout the years have held on to what event was done to you, and over the years you have encountered physical or emotional problems. This has been actually caused by you poisoning your system with hate and blame. We all enter this dark tunnel in our lifetime, and usually we do this more than once. What though would happen to you if your world was turned upside down overnight? Would you survive? Would you continue on the role of the victim? A good way to answer this truthfully is to view how you managed through events that perhaps weren’t earth shattering.

Dark Tunnel

Surviving the Dark Tunnel

Surviving challenges has two different meanings

1. Surviving as a form to show someone you can do, or to get even with them

2.Surviving by letting go of being the victim

The survivor

There is a belief that, since we have made it through a tough situation, we do know how to survive. We picked ourselves up and moved forward. The word survivor in this hub is not about that. It is using the will in a different format. Willpower is instrumental in surviving, but the will has to be to let go of the victim role. This is the way out of the tunnel. The light is comforting to you, because it shines in the world of possibilities. Let us look at this for a minute. We have our two people walking this dark tunnel. Both of them possess willpower, but it is used in a different way. There is one person who is going to prove to the world they can do something. They will find a new job, a new lover, or have their revenge. When they meet the light, what is shown to them is their creative thoughts of what they are going to do. The light is their ego. There is aggression or passive aggression, which is used to build their new foundation. Nothing has changed in this person. They will again meet someone who will abuse them, take them for granted or just ignore them. The other person realized they have to will themselves to let go of being a victim. They have to find new beliefs that will not feed the ego’s intent to get even. The light for them shows them endless possibilities on how to live outside of the victim mode, while the victim will see endless possibilities of staying inside this mode.

Rainbows at the end of the tunnel

Leaving the dark tunnel

It took me awhile to leave this tunnel. At times, I believed that I did, unfortunately is was a mirage. My ego went into the light, and mistakes made in the past repeated. Instead of leaving with the will to let go of being a victim, I re-entered similar circumstances. It had nothing to do with my intelligence. It had to do with a wounded ego. I loss all my possessions after the third time into the light. Prior to this last time, loss was due to spouse death, and the second one was due to a personal family matter. Each of those times though, I was able to bring a few of my possessions. The last time took everything I had. When we enter the realms of being a victim, our energy because one of the victim. We are easily targeted. The light at the end of the tunnel gave me many possibilities to experience more avenues of being victimized.

After the last time, I had to sit in this dark tunnel alone. I had to not be the damsel in distress. I had to stop blaming everything and point the finger at me. Somehow, I was aware that if I didn’t stop this, when that light reappeared I would enter the same cycle again. The last time, I barely survived. I was not willing to take that risk. I used the tunnel to guide me, versus trying to escape it.

In the bosom of the tunnel, I sat and faced my fears. At first it was surface fears, mainly the loss of all material possessions. This though took on another form, and I realized I do not really own anything. Everything is borrowed. I cannot take anything with me when I died. This is a powerful thought, and even more so when it begins to filter through those layers of denial we have inside. I also realized I have my memories, and I could pull them out whenever I wish. This clued me in that I didn’t have to pull out victim memories. I had a choice. I could pull out good memories.

As these layers were released than those deep rooted fears where pushed forward. The fear of never being good enough. The fear of not being able to take care of myself. The attention seeking syndrome in me, which was attached to those fears. It was time to sit in my tunnel and work through them. As I became stronger, the light once again shone. The light of endless possibilities for a healthy physical and mental life. The possibilities where everywhere. I just seemed to run into them. these possibilities started my road to self-healing.

The Light at the end of the Tunnel

Breaking free of the ego

The Light

The light will dance around and through you. You are now free of your egotistical wants. You can see the difference between a want and a need. You do not make yourself prisoner to your past, nor will you make someone your prisoner. There is a change within you. Many call this a personal paradigm shift. This shift does call on you. The call is your life path. It tells you what your purpose here on earth is. Once you become awaken, you cannot let yourself neglect it. There may be days when you find frustration, but you do not let go. You can’t, nor will you let your ego control it. You began the march of a warrior. This warrior for some is the peaceful warrior, for others it has other meanings. In my case it is the mystic warrior. The warrior though demands you to become a part of all humanity. It does not care how you choose to do it, but you must still think as the whole. Your heart is now a part of the human, animal and the vegetation heart. You now live to serve others, without strings attached. You do not hold expectations on how someone should respond to you. You do not have the actions of the victim in you anymore. You are well aware the light is providing the information, experiences and people who will help you to continue your walk as a warrior.

The earthly possessions that were taken from you, now have zero importance to you. You have awaken to the reality of living today. Yesterday and tomorrow do not guide you anymore. For it is in the day that your tomorrows are born. Today’s thoughts create tomorrow, and you finally understand this. You live life in purpose, gratitude and the hope that you reached out to another for this day. It is all that matters to you. You follow your life path, as a warrior, in the venue it calls. You walk it and embrace it, for it is totally you.


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    • Renee Abbott profile imageAUTHOR

      Renee Abbott 

      5 years ago from Arizona

      Dora, thank you for the compliment. It brings me joy to know this hub touched you.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Renee, quite inspirational. Thanks for sharing so positively.

    • Renee Abbott profile imageAUTHOR

      Renee Abbott 

      5 years ago from Arizona

      HI Denise

      I am so happy to hear that you were able to avoid going back into that tunnel. Yes being in the victim mode can seriously do damage to us. I hope the hub benefited you in some way.

      Thank you for reading the hub and commenting. This I do appreciate!

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      5 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      It is good to be out of the dark tunnel that I was in for many years. I understand what it means to no longer be a victim, and to stay out of that role. I had to defend myself recently when I thought I was falling back into it again. I'm glad that I was able to do so.

    • Renee Abbott profile imageAUTHOR

      Renee Abbott 

      5 years ago from Arizona

      Mystic Moonlight, that you too for sharing with me. I know people do go through this tunnel, as you and I both have. May we all embrace the warrior within us:)

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Beautiful message, Renee. I, too, have been in that tunnel, at one time it consumed me, I must admit. I struggled through and reached a point where the worst was behind me but I'm aware that it's still there, it's a battle that will always be fought I suppose.

      I just loved when you said, "You follow your life path, as a warrior, in the venue it calls. You walk it and embrace it, for it is totally you." This speaks to me deeply and says so much of strength, fantastic. Thank you for sharing this message.

    • Renee Abbott profile imageAUTHOR

      Renee Abbott 

      5 years ago from Arizona

      Thank you Billy

      Yes, that dark tunnel can get us, or we can learn to sit in it and face our fears.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Beautifully written with some powerful messages. I had my own dark tunnel that took years to escape, but now that I have I am almost blinded by the light of life. :)


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