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Chappy and Me - A Tale of Chapstick Addiction

Updated on January 12, 2015

A True Story of Chapstick Addiction

I debated long and hard about writing this hub. It exposes something about me that I don't normally like to make public. I should warn you that it is a true tale of chapstick addiction. Not a "based on a true story" but a real part of my real life. I NEED Chappy. I like to think that Chappy doesn't mind.

I'm not sure just when it was that I moved from merely carrying lip balm or chapstick to becoming dependent on Chappy. I've named him and assigned him 'friend I can't do without' status. Sad, but true.

Without Chappy, my lips dry out and burn. With him, I'm comfortable and hydrated.

Chappy and Me - Happy Days - We Go Everywhere Together!

Sadly, there are no photos of Chappy and I together. ***
Sadly, there are no photos of Chappy and I together. ***

Lip Balm Scene

How Chappy and I Met

Honestly, I don't remember the very first time that I was introduced to my first Chappy.  I doubt very much that Chappy remembers, either.  It probably happened when I was a kid, but who knows.  It doesn't matter what came before because I care nothing about Chappy's past, sordid or otherwise.  All that concerns me is what he can do for me now, which is plenty.

Hooked on Chap Stick!

My Obsessive Love Affair with Chappy

I'll admit that before I developed an OCD thing for Chappy, I would have thought the relationship insane. But addictions are like that, aren't they? They're a really bad idea until you find yourself hooked. Then, it's a completely different matter.

I didn't fall in with Chappy overnight. It was far more gradual and insidious than that. I didn't even notice that I was in trouble. Other people could see that I had developed a chapstick dependency before I did.

It was the pleasure and sense of relief that got me. The way Chappy would softly slide across my lips, the feeling of sweet protection from many harsh realities and knowing that I could depend upon him as he was at my beck and call day and night. How could I resist that? How could anyone?

As for Chappy, he cares not about what's in it for him, he's eager to please and asks nothing in return. Perfect!

I know what you're thinking. Am I using Chappy? You're darn right, I am! Please try not to think badly of me for I can't help it and Chappy has encouraged me every step of the way.

Confession Time

As I said earlier, I'm a Chappy addict. I talk about chapstick as though it is a person and have even given my beloved lip balm a name and gender. If I'm going that far in spilling these embarrassing beans, I may as well tell you that I've had plenty of Chappys over the past few years. Lots and lots of them. Although I have my favourites, I don't mind what colour they are and I've tried quite a few. Variety is the spice of life, afterall.

The important thing about Chappys is that they perform and that they are always at the ready. I don't think that's too much to ask from an addictive substance.

My Quirkiness = Biz Opp

My addictive behaviour started morphing with my current Chappy. Unfortunately, I think I've passed the point of no return, kids.

These days, Chappy is sporting a purple wrap. Well, as luck would have it, purple is my favourite colour. The right shade makes me feel pretty and happy. It also inspires me. Ah, obsessive love and inspiration - can't beat it!

I've been thinking of developing a line of Chappy accessories and selling them on ebay. Little Chappy clothes and bags, maybe furniture. Those of us with Chappys need to know their whereabouts at all times or we panic, so possibly some sort of device that allows a Chappy to hook to your belt or purse. We'll see, it's still early days in the planning process.

I recently shared this brilliant idea with a trusted friend. I could tell by the look on her face that she lacked the necessary vision for this enterprise. No business backing there.

If any of you fine folks out there are looking to joint venture with a sound business proposition, do get in touch. In the interest of being open and forthright, I should tell you that you'll be supplying all the capital and I'll be providing the creative genius. Wait, don't dismiss it so quickly! Think about it, there's a huge demand for Chappy accessories. Really.

Addicted to Lip Balm

Lip Balm Addiction

Okay, Enough Silliness, Down to the Facts

I really do have a Chapstick dependency. I do need to know where Chappy is at all times. If I do not have a lip balm handy in my pocket and on my bedside table, my lips get extremely dry, so much so that I can't think of anything else until I apply some chapstick. It feels good on your lips, like sweet relief. You have to be a Chappy addict to understand.

As you can tell by the links in this hub, I'm not the only one. There are tons of people with the same problem. From what I've read, some are trying to wean themselves off. It appears to be a gradual process that involves letting the lips heal and stop depending on the application of petroleum products in order to stay hydrated. That said, one of the doctor's forums that I perused says that chapstick is a psychological addiction, not a physical one. Not everyone agrees.

The Great Chapstick Conspiracy

Honest to God, this is a real thing, at least in the minds of some, including the nice folks that belong to Lip Balm Anonymous.

If you're feeling curious, you can read about The Industry of Addiction: Chap Stick Conspiracy or The Chap Stick Conspiracy and formulate your own opinion.

A couple of the sites that I came across while doing research suggested that the salisylic acid in some lip balm products is the addictive ingredient. My current Chappy has no acid in it, it's just true passion fruit flavour love for Chappy and me.

While much of the online information and YouTube videos treat the addiction in an off-hand, touch-in-cheek fashion, the fact remains that there are people around the globe who feel they can't get through a day without their lip balm.

You May Be a Chap Stick Addict If....

Most of us have back-up Chap Stick on hand at all times because, God forbid! something could happen that would render you Chap stick-less.  For that reason, it's good to have one in your pocket, one in your purse, one in the car, one on your nightable, one that always stays in your winter coat pocket, likewise for your spring jacket.  Oh, and one that stays in your overnight bag or suitcase so you aren't caught in foreign lands without your Chappy.  Can you even imagine anything worse than that?  Well, if you can, you are not a lip balm addict.

I get fresh new flavours and colours of Chap Stick as gifts for almost every occasion.  Mother's Day is coming up and I am excitedly anticipating the arrival of at least one new Chappy.  Once, my sister joked about buying me a lip balm on a rope so that I could wear it around my neck.  She stopped laughing when I told her that I already have one.  Don't you hate it when people look at you with pity?

© 2009 Shirley Anderson

Comments for Chappy and Me

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    • RGraf profile image

      Rebecca Graf 8 years ago from Wisconsin

      LOL. I'll think of you the next time I use Burt's Bee Balm. During the winter it is never away from me.

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thanks, RG! Everybody's got their poison, I guess. Wait! You only use it part of the year? Amazing. I've actually heard (read) about your Bee Balm. I'd like to say that I'll give it a try but everytime I stray, I end up coming back to Chappy.

      Thanks for coming by!

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 8 years ago from India

      Oh I used to be quite an addict too till I realised that buying a pot of lip balm reduced the cravings can't carry that around as easily as chapstick! :P

    • RGraf profile image

      Rebecca Graf 8 years ago from Wisconsin

      I have tried many balms, but the Bee Balm has won me over. During the summer my lips don't dry out that much, but we live in a very cold part of the country during the winter and my lips take a beating.

    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

      LOL Shirley! I never let my lips go naked. I love Chappy sooo much too. I even ordered every flavor known to man from the home shopping club on t.v.... yes I did! lol. I know you'll understand so I'm not embarrassed to tell you.

      Chappy lives right with all my reading glasses; in the bathroom, kitchen, many in the living room, pocket, purse, night stand, car, beside computer and SAY WHAT they come on a rope like soap so you can bring it in the shower, lol...

      I never thought it was an addiction but according to you I am bad to the bone.

      Time for me and chappy to get some sleep. good night Shirley!

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Oh FP, the little tins, you mean? I've tried those, they just don't do for me what Chappy does, I'm afraid. I'm not sure why. I'm glad that you found a way to overcome the Chappy on your back, though. :) Was the withdrawal uncomfortable?

      I'd like to say 'same here', RG, but I wear it year round even though we have harsh winters, as well. It's just habit, err love.

      Dottie! I thought those looked like Chappy lips! So hydrated and healthy looking. Have you tried the grape? It's purple and so is the wrapper (yay!) and it smells yummy.

      When I had my own place I too had one in every room, as well as my pockets, purse, car, the office, etc. You just can't have too many Chappys.

      You bet on a rope! A lanyard, actually. If I was still in the promotional products industry, I'd get you one. Alas, I don't have the same sources of such things anymore.

      You bad? Never! Fun yes, bad no. I had no idea I had an addiction. I had a friend point it out to me.

      I have to get some sleep, too. I'm exhausted. When I go up to bed, I always take the Chappy from my pocket and set it beside the one that lives on my nightstand so they can keep each other company. Also, if I run out during the night, I've got a spare. If I don't run out, I've got one for each hand. Very practical!

      G'night, Angel Dottie!

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 8 years ago from India

      Shhh...don't tell anyone...I still have a Chappy in my bag! :P

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Your secret is safe with me, FP! I'm greatly relieved for you. Hope there's some place you can sneak away to so you can get some sweet Chappy relief.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 8 years ago from Free and running....

      shirley- you are not alone, I have like 3 chapsticks in the car as I always carry them in my pocket too.

    • shamelabboush profile image

      shamelabboush 8 years ago

      Hehehe, very cute addiction. Your loved one must be jealous now!

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I'm glad that I'm not the only one, GT. You must have great lips!

      Shamelabboush, Chappy is my loved one! :) He's with me always.

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 8 years ago from Hell, MI

      I suffered from this crippling addiction for years. I consulted my doctor when my lips began to look thinner. He told me that I had been balming in my sleep, and had actually begun to rub my lips off! I grudgingly changed to Blistex. It's much creamier, and you get that yummy taste of camphor and lanolin! My lips have never been more hydrated or fuller!

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Wow, BT. You sound like a Blistex commercial.

      You know, I'm reading your words but resisting. My inner dialogue is justifying my continued Chap Stick use by pointing out that you were total hardcore. Chappy won't let me get that far, he told me so and I trust him. Besides, I always wake up to use it, so I don't have to balm in my sleep.

      I covered Chappy's eyes so he couldn't see and possibly understand the implications of your comment.

    • Nemingha profile image

      Nemingha 8 years ago

      I usually only use Chappy in the winter (which is fast approaching in my part of the world) when my lips get very dry and cracked. For the remaining nine months of the year I can leave him alone. Sigh...I guess we're just not soul mates.

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Hmmm, going part of the year without Chappy....what a concept! I think Chappy would quit speaking to me if I did that.

      How liberating it must be for you, though!

      Too bad about the soul mates thing. :(

    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

      I think my lips would fall off if I only used Chappy only part of the year.  I am a chappy full timer like you Shirley.

      How far we've come since the original chappy flavor...that was gross!  I love the grape flavor too, it's so yummy, but I don't see it in stores very often.  Are you buying them all up here in the states and not leaving any for me?  I guess I'll have to beat you to it!

      I bet the new shimmer chappies in botanical berry and tropical would be delicious.  I'll have to give them a try!  Strawberry flavor is the one you would see me with the most!

      Have a shimmering sparkling lip smacking day, Angel Shirley!

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I'm with you on that, Dottie! I can't imagine living half the year without Chappy. I'm going to have to start including him in family photos.

      Yes, it was me, I confess to buying up all the U.S. supplies of grape Chappy! Sorry, Dottie. Actually, I got mine in a dollar store in a small town where one of my sisters live. It was an accidental, bonus find. I intend to go back there to see if I can get more - fingers crossed!

      Mmmm, those do sound good! Love the smell of the strawberry chappys.

      Thanks, Angel Dottie. Smearing some passion fruit Chappy on my lips even as I type this.

    • sabrebIade profile image

      sabrebIade 8 years ago from Pennsylvania

      I never knew I had a problem.....LOL

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I'm telling you, Sabreblade, I didn't know that I did either, until someone pointed it out to me.

      Actually, we Chappy lovers are okay, it's the rest of the world that's not normal. :)

    • GiftedGrandma profile image

      GiftedGrandma 8 years ago from USA

      I don't think of it as a problem just want my lips not to be dry! This grammy is addicted too... had two tubes stolen while in surgery (miss placed?no) in the hospital last year. Told anyone that touched the next one would have their fingers cut off. I would have terrible urges of someone taking mine, I would put it into my hospital gown pocket with my heart monitor :O) But my lips get soooo dry.

    • mayhmong profile image

      mayhmong 8 years ago from North Carolina

      I thought this hub was going to be about your pet named Chappy or something? But hey, I'm a chappy addict too especially in the winter time. This reminds me about the strange movie Napoleon Dynamite scene.

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      GG, I understand completely!! I'm afraid that I might have to hurt anybody who tried to take my Chappy away from me. You would've been perfectly justified to lop off a few fingers to protect your lip balm! But geez, in the hospital? Is there no sense of decency left in the world? Guess that goes to show you the depths some people will go to when they have a Chappy monkey on their back. :) Glad you managed to keep hold of the replacement!

      May, I saw that one but watched it again, funny yet sadly true to life for us addicts! Chappy is better than a pet! No vet bills, no feeding, no peeing on the floor. I'm glad that you feel safe enough here to be open about your addiction. We Chappy addicts have to stick together. The "others" just don't understand.

      Thanks for your comments ladies. May the Chappy be with you!

    • mayhmong profile image

      mayhmong 8 years ago from North Carolina

      Maybe we need to form a chappy club

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      What an excellent idea, May!! We could have a newsletter to announce any funky new colours/flavours that we come across, share tips on the care of Chappys and how to use them without being seen or how to deal with people who try to pull an intervention, something like that.

      Oh, we could have a convention!! Yes, I like that! A whole bunch of us using our chap sticks and comparing flavours and techniques.

      Maybe we could buy in bulk if we have a club.

      This could be big! Great idea. Do you want to be president?

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      I didn't know of anybody addicted to Chapstick until this hub! I'm a smoker so Chappy is dear friend. I have like maybe three sticks at a time, Come to think of it, maybe we share the same addiction?! So let me rephrase that: I didn't know of another Chappy addict until this hub! So "Hi, my name is Cris A and I'm a Chappyholic" :D

    • mayhmong profile image

      mayhmong 8 years ago from North Carolina

      LOL, We be in big trouble if I was president of the chappy club! It was just a little suggestion, but not a bad idea

    • Frieda Babbley profile image

      Frieda Babbley 8 years ago from Saint Louis, MO

      Shirley, I have not laughted so hard in so darn long. Fantastic. Your writing is awesome! I have to tell you I smelled the intoxicating scent of chapstick the second I entered this hub. It was/is, euphoric to say the least. The memories alone... Excuse me, I need to get to walgreens. Purple you say? How perfect is that.

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Cris, I'm a smoker, too. Hmm, maybe it's all an oral gratification thing. I'm glad that you've come out of the Chappy closet. Don't you feel liberated? Welcome to the Chappy fold! By the way, we're starting a Chappy club. We'd love to have you as a member and to sweeten the pot, I'll tell you that we're looking into buying large cases of lip balm in bulk. Whaddya say?

      May, it's a great idea! Are you doubting your leadership abilities, my dear?

      I'm so glad that you enjoyed it Frieda. The way it ended up was not exactly the way I had originally planned but it'll do. You can smell chapstick here, too? Thank God, I thought it was just me. Definitely purple - it smells sooooo good! It is perfect. Thanks so much for the compliment on my hub, by the way! Can you tell I'm trying to keep each response to one paragraph? :)

      Survey question for all readers: Would your purchase accessories for your Chappy? If so, do you have lots and lots of money to invest? (see biz opp above for details)

    • The Once Corrupt profile image

      The Once Corrupt 8 years ago

      Haha, ah that was great, funnily enough i think you and my girlfriend share a similar trait with that lil addicition you got :P

    • imsointo profile image

      imsointo 8 years ago

      Very Funny!!! We welcome you here in South Florida. Our lips are rarely chapped. As everyone knows we have a very moist subtropical climate down here. Its so hot and humid the Chappy always melts in our cars or pockets anyway so we end up using it as a spread for appetizers. The cherry flavor is especially tasty.

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      TOC, there are a lot of us Chappy addicts.  Your girlfriend is welcome to come and join our club. :) Thanks for coming by, I appreciate it.

      Imsointo, thanks for the warm welcome!  I've been to your beautiful state a few times but not for many years.  One time, I was there in the summer and completely understand having to find an alternate use for your Chappys.  Yes, I imagine cherry would be yummy on a Triscuit. :)  Thanks for the comment!

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Oh happy day! My youngest sister, Peggy gave me TEN purple Chapsticks!!!

      Thanks, Sissy! xox

    • profile image

      Justme 6 years ago

      oh, I am with the chapstick addicts of the world. I am now trying to quit the chapstick use. My lips are a bit sore and a bit try. They will be better soon, I hope. I've been using Popped open Vitamin E caspules to rub on my lips at night and the morning. I, personally, have no problem with chapstick addiction (Think of all the worse stuff we could be addicted too) but i like wearing Skirts and dresses and such of which sadly have no pockets for chappy.

    • divacratus profile image

      Kalpana Iyer 6 years ago from India

      Haha this was really funny! You have a way with writing! I tend to get dry lips too, but I am not too addicted to my 'chappy'. I need to apply every morning and night though. Dunno if that's an addiction or not ;)

    • Shirley Anderson profile image

      Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Oh, Justme, you need to get chappy pockets sewn into your skirts! :) Beware though - check your pockets, lest your beloved chapstick goes through the washer and dryer. It's not pretty when that happens.

      I can't use the Vitamin E capsules, I break out in a horrible rash when I break them and apply the oil to my skin. Hope it helps heal your lips, though.

      Good luck with breaking your chappy addiction!

      Divacratus, thanks. Hmmm, everyday and every night...not sure if that qualifies as a chappy addiction. People in my family who are addicted (including me) have a near panic attack if our lip balm goes missing. Even if I don't need to use mine, I have to have it accessible.

      I've taken to naming mine...Chet Chappy, Chad Chappy, Chuck Chappy, Chip get the picture.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Diva!

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