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Chappy and Me - A Tale of Chapstick Addiction

Updated on January 12, 2015

A True Story of Chapstick Addiction

I debated long and hard about writing this hub. It exposes something about me that I don't normally like to make public. I should warn you that it is a true tale of chapstick addiction. Not a "based on a true story" but a real part of my real life. I NEED Chappy. I like to think that Chappy doesn't mind.

I'm not sure just when it was that I moved from merely carrying lip balm or chapstick to becoming dependent on Chappy. I've named him and assigned him 'friend I can't do without' status. Sad, but true.

Without Chappy, my lips dry out and burn. With him, I'm comfortable and hydrated.

Chappy and Me - Happy Days - We Go Everywhere Together!

Sadly, there are no photos of Chappy and I together. ***
Sadly, there are no photos of Chappy and I together. ***

Lip Balm Scene

How Chappy and I Met

Honestly, I don't remember the very first time that I was introduced to my first Chappy.  I doubt very much that Chappy remembers, either.  It probably happened when I was a kid, but who knows.  It doesn't matter what came before because I care nothing about Chappy's past, sordid or otherwise.  All that concerns me is what he can do for me now, which is plenty.

Hooked on Chap Stick!

My Obsessive Love Affair with Chappy

I'll admit that before I developed an OCD thing for Chappy, I would have thought the relationship insane. But addictions are like that, aren't they? They're a really bad idea until you find yourself hooked. Then, it's a completely different matter.

I didn't fall in with Chappy overnight. It was far more gradual and insidious than that. I didn't even notice that I was in trouble. Other people could see that I had developed a chapstick dependency before I did.

It was the pleasure and sense of relief that got me. The way Chappy would softly slide across my lips, the feeling of sweet protection from many harsh realities and knowing that I could depend upon him as he was at my beck and call day and night. How could I resist that? How could anyone?

As for Chappy, he cares not about what's in it for him, he's eager to please and asks nothing in return. Perfect!

I know what you're thinking. Am I using Chappy? You're darn right, I am! Please try not to think badly of me for I can't help it and Chappy has encouraged me every step of the way.

Confession Time

As I said earlier, I'm a Chappy addict. I talk about chapstick as though it is a person and have even given my beloved lip balm a name and gender. If I'm going that far in spilling these embarrassing beans, I may as well tell you that I've had plenty of Chappys over the past few years. Lots and lots of them. Although I have my favourites, I don't mind what colour they are and I've tried quite a few. Variety is the spice of life, afterall.

The important thing about Chappys is that they perform and that they are always at the ready. I don't think that's too much to ask from an addictive substance.

My Quirkiness = Biz Opp

My addictive behaviour started morphing with my current Chappy. Unfortunately, I think I've passed the point of no return, kids.

These days, Chappy is sporting a purple wrap. Well, as luck would have it, purple is my favourite colour. The right shade makes me feel pretty and happy. It also inspires me. Ah, obsessive love and inspiration - can't beat it!

I've been thinking of developing a line of Chappy accessories and selling them on ebay. Little Chappy clothes and bags, maybe furniture. Those of us with Chappys need to know their whereabouts at all times or we panic, so possibly some sort of device that allows a Chappy to hook to your belt or purse. We'll see, it's still early days in the planning process.

I recently shared this brilliant idea with a trusted friend. I could tell by the look on her face that she lacked the necessary vision for this enterprise. No business backing there.

If any of you fine folks out there are looking to joint venture with a sound business proposition, do get in touch. In the interest of being open and forthright, I should tell you that you'll be supplying all the capital and I'll be providing the creative genius. Wait, don't dismiss it so quickly! Think about it, there's a huge demand for Chappy accessories. Really.

Addicted to Lip Balm

Lip Balm Addiction

Okay, Enough Silliness, Down to the Facts

I really do have a Chapstick dependency. I do need to know where Chappy is at all times. If I do not have a lip balm handy in my pocket and on my bedside table, my lips get extremely dry, so much so that I can't think of anything else until I apply some chapstick. It feels good on your lips, like sweet relief. You have to be a Chappy addict to understand.

As you can tell by the links in this hub, I'm not the only one. There are tons of people with the same problem. From what I've read, some are trying to wean themselves off. It appears to be a gradual process that involves letting the lips heal and stop depending on the application of petroleum products in order to stay hydrated. That said, one of the doctor's forums that I perused says that chapstick is a psychological addiction, not a physical one. Not everyone agrees.

The Great Chapstick Conspiracy

Honest to God, this is a real thing, at least in the minds of some, including the nice folks that belong to Lip Balm Anonymous.

If you're feeling curious, you can read about The Industry of Addiction: Chap Stick Conspiracy or The Chap Stick Conspiracy and formulate your own opinion.

A couple of the sites that I came across while doing research suggested that the salisylic acid in some lip balm products is the addictive ingredient. My current Chappy has no acid in it, it's just true passion fruit flavour love for Chappy and me.

While much of the online information and YouTube videos treat the addiction in an off-hand, touch-in-cheek fashion, the fact remains that there are people around the globe who feel they can't get through a day without their lip balm.

You May Be a Chap Stick Addict If....

Most of us have back-up Chap Stick on hand at all times because, God forbid! something could happen that would render you Chap stick-less.  For that reason, it's good to have one in your pocket, one in your purse, one in the car, one on your nightable, one that always stays in your winter coat pocket, likewise for your spring jacket.  Oh, and one that stays in your overnight bag or suitcase so you aren't caught in foreign lands without your Chappy.  Can you even imagine anything worse than that?  Well, if you can, you are not a lip balm addict.

I get fresh new flavours and colours of Chap Stick as gifts for almost every occasion.  Mother's Day is coming up and I am excitedly anticipating the arrival of at least one new Chappy.  Once, my sister joked about buying me a lip balm on a rope so that I could wear it around my neck.  She stopped laughing when I told her that I already have one.  Don't you hate it when people look at you with pity?

© 2009 Shirley Anderson


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