A Therapeutic Note to Self

When I think of therapeutic concepts, it is pretty much all based on feelings, emotions, lifestyles changes and internalised thoughts channeled in certain ways to provide an outlet to enable a dialog with yourself.

If you think back to most advice, tips or techniques, its mainly consists of the following:

• speak about it,
• write a note then burn or tear it up,
• recite positive affirmations,
• pushing all your negative energy into a bubble or balloon and watch it float away.

I've tried all of these throughout my years and always wondered if I am obtaining the desired outcome or have I started creating the infamous "devils workshop" that many often refer to.

Could these be the only options?

Therapy should be a tailored personal interaction.

"Different strokes for different folks".

Requires a person to be vulnerable when sharing and can often be misconstrued as a sign of weakness.

Well now, who can I trust enough to divulge all aspects of my life?

I have had my hands burnt too many times by individuals I thought could be trusted, but evidence showed that it was only to get a juicy story. My vulnerabilities were later shared with non involved parties which was lead to some awkward encounters at social gatherings, in passing on the street, shopping malls or workplace. Often, I imagined cartoon blurbs above these peoples head with phrases such as "Shame", "Such a pity" or "better you than me".

In that moment, I'm thinking you have skeletons too, why are you judging me?

You can't speak it aloud around your children as you don't want to create unnecessary anxieties around them.

Writing a note, then burning or tearing it up, place into a bubble or balloon and we watch it wither or fly away?

I am consciously aware, that with every bit of heartache, doubt, worry or concern that I'm writing down becomes, well, let's be honest; disappointing as the whole concept of contextualising is that you wanted to share and be heard without fear of judgment.

Yet my feelings don't feel addressed or impacted in any way, so it's my subconscious that I need to build on.

A psychologist. I can't afford a psychologist that will only accommodate me for 30 minutes or an hour, once or twice a week depending on their diary.

Hmmm, that will result in a dent in my bank account and furthermore, my feelings will need to be paused until the next session.

To this end, I like to get value for my money, which means when I do get the opportunity to express, it will have to only be the issues I think that could be the highlight of my pain points. With the instalments of my sessions it is easy to lose my trail of thought, especially while watching the clock.

No offence to the industry at all, much respect to it and those that practice, however some issues are not always at the point of an extreme medical condition.

I say this from experience after consulting with more than one therapist.

I was also prescribed medication which I was reluctant to take. I decided to get a second opinion with another psychologist whom advised against the medication as it was deemed inappropriate. The second opinion prescribed a much milder strength seeing that the prognosis of the case was considered short term.

I was requested to make recurring visits which exhausted my finances to a point I could no longer sustain the sessions. Despite the numerous sessions I came out with nothing addressed, no closure, furthermore when I wanted a full report it required me to folk out more money to get one on a general template, which was not worth the piece of paper it was written on.

At that moment I tried to fathom, filter and makes sense of it all before I can say I am ready to tackle the matter and action in a diplomatic way.

I believe in the theory of "cause and effect" and most definitely don't ever want to release negative thoughts into the Universe. I have enough on my plate, so why would I add on self infliction.

How can I change my sudden negative to positive elusive thoughts? Only then can I say in honesty, that I am clearly responding and sending off positive affirmations in good faith to the Universe.

Our feelings are fragile, but of utmost importance and need to be cared for in a gentle manner.

I recently found my genre to encompass it all. On HubPages I'm sharing it with the world and I feel so much more at ease. This allows me to share with the option of anonymity and still be heard.

It's genuinely therapeutic writing and I feel cleansed. It calms my inner being, and brings me the spiritual positivity enabling me to put everything into perspective as I write.

Realistically, yes, there may be judgement but it's not at face value, at the same time I have opened myself up to good advice, constructive criticism. That's the way I choose to look at it.

Another upside is, I am connected to Psychologists of various fields, plus many hubbers on HubPages that are so well versed from their personal life experiences.

I get valuable comments from valuable people with no strings attached.

As I write about it I am able to find reasoning. Right now I feel on route to self fulfilment.

I'm not saying it resolves all, however it addresses most of my personal pain points.

As I experience or learn to resolve the rest of my life challenges that come along ever so often, I will be sure to share it.