Sedona Method and Close Encounter with my Shadow in Second Life
The Mirror of Your mind - Found in Second Life
A Meeting with my Shadow
Since I discovered Second Life a couple of months ago, I went through three stages of like and dislike. There was an initial booooorrrrrinngggg what am I doing here. Then the realization that this in fact was great fun Botanical Gardenstook over. I noticed I felt the same wants as in every day life. The mind is not one of the most trust worthy authority when it comes to deciding whether something is real or unreal. And... to paraprase the monk and the butterfly "Am I a girl thinking she is playing in secondlife or a girl from secondlife playing in real life" :-)
And who cares.. This is a place where I could experiment with different behaviors and observe what is was doing to me. And as a Sedona Method woman, I discovered whole arrays of feelings and wants that are blurring my experiences. Yes that was fun. Believe it or not I even fell in love, and at the same kind of guy that in Real Life would make my blood move.
Barbara is getting nasty
The third phase had more to do with disgust and the fact that when possible I enjoyed adult activities a spiritual person should not like. From behind my computer screen I whipped, was whipped, made lesbian love and had five guys at once.
Strange, as I asked myself the releasing question "do I want to change this", my answer was NO FUCKING WAY... As if all the suppressed feelings and believes about what a nice girl should and should not do surfaced. And boy did I want to hold on. I had an overwhelming urge to express all the anger, sexual desire, hate and so on. The feeling of wanting to be separate, and the feeling of wanting to be one and merge into the other(s).
Cuffs still on - Relaxing
Letting Go, NO WAY..
Yep, a whole new Barbara was running wild through the S&M clubs of Second Life. Being sold as a slave.. yummie... Anyway this is not about all the intimate experiences that I refused to release. This rather bizarre Barb, was also a feeling, a cloud in the sky of who knows what. The moment that it was okay to feel, in fact the moment my resistance dropped. I could let go.
Now I didn't return to my lovely spiritual self. Knowing, accepting, letting go of some deep dormant feelings made me feel more at ease, my self condemnation dropped immense, and the love feelings for other are deepier. Grin wish I could do Hale laugh here, became loving by whipping and abusing fellow abusers.
Still there, Still looking in the Mirror
At the moment I am not the frequent visitor I was, but I walk around Second Life a few times a week, and every time it gives me new materials to work on. I found out that there even are releasing meetings. Not regular scheduled but they are available. If you happen to come to Second Life, my name there is Frieda Aeon. These days you will find me more on live music events than in the S&M bars. I'm also to be found as member of the Releasing Community in Second Life. Look under groups.
Would be fun to see you there... Life is a joke and whoever wrote the story must be a genius of unimaginable proportions.
- Sedona and Lust
Lust, the feeling that you want but can not, should not have it