"BE WARNED, I WILL RETURN"
The demon has come back and he is trying to take over my life again. All throughout my life I've dealt with this struggle. I've been to therapy and on medication. I've trusted in God to take care of whatever is missing. To no avail, this devil seems to creep back in.
My soul is in danger at all times. I try to confess to release my sins. I am dying inside and no one understands. There is no one who can really help me.There are a few who can assist with the pain but only momentarily. In those few moments I feel strong, confident, worth while and beautiful. He will be back, I know he will. When he returns I need to be ready.
I take my tme and use it wisely. I tell myself that I am somebody, and I make great strides. My world is good and my spirit sings. I am confident again, I am a queen, strong minded and strong hearted. Enjoy the time because Yes, he is going to return. I don't think about him coming back, so I ain't scared. I convince myself by chanting out loud "deal with him when the time comes, for now stay focused and stay happy.
He is a constant threat to my well-being. Stealing my happiness, my joy, my time, my friends. Now he is trying to steal my confidence, my life, and my soul. He tells me I can't when I know I can. Sometimes he makes me cry so hard that my chest screams with pain. Robbery is his game and he takes much pleasure in it. I can't resist him. He is too strong.
Is this truly a mental issue. With each return he gets stronger and stronger. He is opposite of everything I stand for. I am a child of God, daughter, wife, mother, writer, teacher, nurse, lover, and supporter. When he arrives he tells me that everything about me is ugly, dirty, sinful, stupid. He reminds me of all the disgusting things that I have ever done. Doesn't he know that there are people who love me, people who depend on me to be there for them? I believe he knows and he's counting on that. This derelict is trying not only take me but also all those who depend on me. I must be strong, I have no choice.
So the rumble is on and the next time he shows up. I will be ready. He can no longer deceive me into thinking he is my friend and he'll keep me safe. I know him too well now. I"ve already heard his entire strategy so it won't work this time. See, his last few visits he's made some mistakes. He has a habit of not allowing me to sleep. He whispers in my ear, "who do you think you are? Remember, your nobody. How many times did ya daddy tell you that you are nothin' and you won't ever be nothin'." He thinks that depriving me of sleep will keep me weak. I now know his plan. He can't fool me anymore.
I am prepared to take him out. The deceiver, menace, thief, my demon, my devil. So beware, because you can no longer treat me like crap. You can no longer keep me chained down with fear. I am not afraid of you anymore and I will fight back. I will fight you with all my mind, with all my heart and with all my soul and I will win. I can now call you out by your real name.
PLEASE GET HELP!!
Depression Help Websites
Depression is a feeling of being extremely unhappy. A medical condition in which a person is so unhappy that they cannot live a normal life.
There are many online sites where you can get help with depression. I have listed a few sites that are very helpful.