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The Confessional

Updated on October 4, 2008

Confession Comics

The Ironic Side of My Story

As some of you know, I have been chronicling my struggle with regaining my life. After unfortunate events in my "Trying to Recover Again" Hub. There is more to the story and many facets to what is going on in my life. I hope to use this Hub to shed more light to more of my stories. You will soon find that I am possibly not such the good person that I do so strive and work so hard to be. I am told that " the road to hell is paved with good intentions" and if that is the case than I am definitely on that H.O.V. lane there.

Ironically, work wise I am a major player in a liquor distribution company that is in over 31 states and soon to be a publicly trade company. Not bad considering our little company is under 6 yrs. old and started by only representing one product. We now represent over 1,400 products and as I mentioned earlier have bought out other distributors in over 31 states. We are a quite aggressive group. Sadly, as will any great empire that success comes swiftly, you tend to feel invincible, and nothing can stop you. The ego tends to inflate and you become full of yourself, not leaving much room inside yourself for anyone or anything else. Naturally to keep that euphoria rolling you tend blur lines and push limits.

Jokes

A woman goes to confession. "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times." The priest thinks long and hard and replies, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and drink the juice."

"Will that cleanse me of my sins?" she asks.

"No," he says, "but it'll wipe that smile off your face."

A Catholic Goes to Confession

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I have truly sinned, I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"

The altar boy said, "a Snickers bar and a Coke."

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