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Confidence The Key to get a Girl
The Girl Crazy Scale
Class 5 Clingers
Now one thing that a confident man needs to watch out for, are the Class 5 Clingers. They are the ones that won't leave you a moment to take a breath and go hang with your friends without texting them. Communication is necessary and I thoroughly believe that, but there can also be TOO much.
One time I was dating a girl and it was going really well. We had been dating for about 4 months seriously and I was really enjoying it. Anybody that knows me though, knows that I have a very problematic stomach. It will just get angry and then I will be in the bathroom for a long time and ruin my whole night. Sucks, but whatever, I can live with it.
So this girl... Jennifer wanted to hang out, awesome! We would hang out all the time and just chill, but this night I was having stomach problems and just wanted to go to bed(well the bathroom, then to bed). She would not stop insisting that she see me that day. I told her that my stomach was upset and that I couldn't come. She started going off on how I didn't like her anymore and that she hadn't seem in several days. That I was ruining the relationship. Woof! We had seen eachother at least twice in that week and it was only thursday.
If there is one things that I cannot live with, it is attention grabbers. The people who will go to drastic measures to get your attention and make you act in their bahalf. It is manipulative and I hate it, in fact I will usually do the opposite. What she was saying bugged me so bad that later when we had "the talk" I told her that it was true and that I was ruining the relationship cause I didn't feel like we should be together. She created the problem without there actually being a problem.
Watch out for these women. They are problematic. Her hotness was great, but I am a personality man and she needs to not be clingy. Aziz Ansari put it right. Men have it easy, if we break up with a girl and your friend asks what happened all you have to say is, "Man, she was crazy." No more questions.
Do you ever feel like things with a girl go like this?
The Ted Mosby Syndrome
Do you have the Ted Mosby Syndrome?
What would you do in this situation?
Straight up Confidence
One time my buddy, we will call him Tom, had a crush on this girl from his school. She was a really good looker and had a very strong personality. Tom is an interesting guy. Great friend, good looking, but has never had a girlfriend before and is now 23. Not saying that is a bad thing, but the guy wants one and can't figure out why. He is a little bit weaker will and likes to be told what to do. We joke that one day he will marry a girl that will hold the whip and where the pants in the relationship. He laughs... then nods his head in agreement.
We all went out on a group date and the whole time the girl was doing what she did and was a little bit bossy. Tom, being Tom, gave into those orders of her and did as she said. This was looking to be a promising relationship. It was their third date and it was prime time. Third date is the do or die date. The night went on and we went our separate ways. I had a fun night with my date and I figured he probably the same.
The next day I saw Tom and nudged him with my elbow, asking him how the night went while winking to inuendo that something more than just dinner might have happened. He then backed away and squinched his face together in almost pain to have to tell me something. Immediately I knew what happened. It's what we like to call the Ted Mosby Syndrome.
Ted Mosby Syndrome
What is the Ted Mosby Syndrome do you ask? Thank you for asking. If you have ever seen "How I Met Your Mother" you automatically know who Ted Mosby is. For those who haven't seen it then I recommend turning on Netflix and watching just the very first episode. You will very quickly know what the syndrome is. My friend Tom IS Ted Mosby. Almost even looks like him, which is kind of weird.
But if you remember in the very first episode, Ted falls in love with this girl named Robin. He takes her out on a date and then when he is going to drop her off he decides to go inside for a little. After dancing and drinking a bit with robin they start to dance. Things were going great! Ted was on a roll. Then as they are dancing he looks at Robin and says, "I love you"... What? She said the same thing, "What?". I bet you can imagine how that ruined the night.
Ted went home and talked to his friends and it worked him up. They talked about why is it wrong to say things like "I love you" on the first date and he gets ton of courage to go back and do what he hadn't done before. Kiss her. He first goes to the restaurant and steals the blue french horn (that will make more sense when you watch it if you haven't) and goes back to her house. She comes down and he gives her the horn and its super sweet. That man has CONFIDENCE. He is going balls to the walls. He says all of these things and it is great. Then it gets to this point where it is time to make the move... and they hug. Nothing happens. It was the moment he was looking for and he missed it.
I will first explain the whole night, then we will review and see what he could have done better.
After leaving the restaurant they went off and had a good time with the other couple that had gone with them. He then went and dropped off my friend... Carl's date. Then proceeded to drop off his date. When he went to drop off his date he walked her up to the door and then Carl jumped into the drivers seat and drove off to give them some alone time. They apparently had some great conversation, but in the end he gave her a hug. He then proceeded to walk to his car that was parked two blocks away. Thanks Carl.
After getting to his car, he went to drive Carl home. On his way home Carl gave him tons of crap for not kissing the girl. Tom started to get a riled up and decided that he would go back and get this kiss (oh Ted). He got to her house and called her to come outside. She came out and he made up some excuse to why he came back and then said that the real reason was to give her a kiss. She then looked at him and said he could on the cheek...... Tom then went on his way.
The Official Review
If that isn't Ted Mosby then I don't know what is. First of all drop your friends off first. That was the first mistake. Carl does not have to be there after his date is gone. If you keep your friend around to "so we can talk about how our dates were after we drop them off" then you would rather be with Carl then your date. You aren't even allowing for a possibility of more happening after the date. Cause Carl won't want to wait in the car.
Carl staying in the car leads to an awkward situation when you drop her off. Carl driving away lead to a high stress situation. Him driving forces the situation to progress. It creates to much pressure and you want things to flow natural.
Even if your friend drives away, we can work with that. Cause we are calm, cool and collected people, right? Make a joke about how ridiculous your buddy is. Making fun of how stupid Carl is would've broken a lot of worry. Then transition. I will talk in a future post about the importance of transitioning. Start talking about how awesome the date was or maybe refer back to an inside joke you guys started during the date. Do things that will remember how awesome the date and the relationship has been up to this point. Then once you get to the door, feel it out. What I mean by that is let it happen naturally. Look at her. Does she look you back in the eyes, especially while hugging. If so, then kiss her. You can do it.
The biggest rule is once you leave, leave. Don't go back. Now there are exceptions to the rule. If she sends you a text asking you to come back, then by all means, go back. But if you just want to make up for the moment, I would say don't. In the case that you just feel so strongly about it, then here are some tips. First, drop off CARL. Why does Carl still have to be there? I don't understand that at all. Second, making up a reason isn't a bad idea to go back there. Like Ted though, you have to make up a reason. He got the blue french horn, what's your excuse? That way it's not weird and you don't look desperate. Last of all do what you went there to do and don't ask for permission. Do it in a sly way to test the waters yet again. Start up a conversation first, then that will grow for a little, but don't linger to long that it seems as though you are just scared to do something. Once again, see how good the eye contact is and is she in a rush to get back inside or is she comfortable staying out and talking to you. If she is outside after she had already been in bed and now is with you and is OK with it, then my friend engines are a GO!
Or you can do what Tom did and pull a Ted Mosby.
Bro Man Dude
So you wanna be a Douche Bag?
The Douche Bag
Probably just reading the title you feel a little offended. If I were to tell you that I was a total douche bag, that I wore flat brim hats and wore bro tanks, you would roll your eyes at me. Douche bags have a very bad image when it comes to social statuses in college, but one thing is true. DOUCHE BAGS GET GIRLS. You all have seen it before and most of the really pretty girls you like will end up dating a total dick and end up getting totally hurt by them. It pisses you of, believe me I know too, I have been there before.
Then in my first semester of college I did an experiment. I was going to be a Douche Bag! It was going to be epic, but I was going to try it.
My first night at college there was a party. I decided that that night I would hold my first experiment. I was going to meet a girl that night and I was going to hook up with her that same night. I had heard about people who had done it before, but I had never done it myself.
My roommates I had never met before that day, so they were all random, but they seemed really cool. I went with one of them. At the dance party, we walked around and met a lot of people. Then walked up a couple girls who knew my roommate. They introduced themselves and one of them's name was, we'll say, Jane. Jane was a total B****. You could just see it in the way that she carried herself. She thought she was a lot better than me and just acted like she didn't care about the dance or meeting me or anyone else. She was good looking though and I knew she was PERFECT.
One trait I have is sarcasm, I'm great at it. So I knew what type of douche bag I would have to be; a sarcastic one. So I started to make fun of her. Poking at certain things and making fun of her laugh. Then I would seriously flirt with one of her friends. Dang! She started to come on to me super strong. We danced the whole night then we went off in my truck to look at the stars.
Now after that story, you probably think I am a full fledged douche bag. I will refer to many times throughout my posts that people should be more like douche bags. All I mean is to have confidence. The thing that a douche bag has is confidence and doesn't care what you think about whatever. If people could have the confidence of a door to door salesman in daily life AND be a civilized, not a total dick-head then we would have some good people out there. That is what a girl looks for.