ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Coping With Grief and Loss

Updated on August 24, 2015

Grief is a normal response to a loss, but there is not a typical, standard response to it. There are defined stages in the grieving process a person will go through. However, each individual will cope in their own way.

The loss of a loved one or something of value can be emotionally painful and overwhelming. How a person copes depends on many factors such as faith, nature of the loss and personality. Grief has no standard timetable. Some may heal quickly. For others it might take years.

But before an emotionally stricken person can begin the healing process, certain myths about grief must be dispelled. Following are a few examples:

· Ignoring the pain will make it go away quicker

· Be strong, put on a brave front and don’t show weakness for the benefit of family or friends

· You must cry or everyone will think you don’t care

There are 5 generalized stages of grief. They are:

· Denial:Refusal to accept what has happened

· Anger: Finding someone or thing to blame and vent

· Bargaining: Promising something if only the problem will go away

· Depression:Sadness

· Acceptance: At peace with the situation

However,not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages or in this order. Some may experience none of them. The 5 stages were not intended to be a framework set in concrete, but just a guideline.

These are some strategies others have used to help cope with their grief:

· It’s important to get enough sleep and rest

· Take things one day at a time

· Maintain a normal routine

· Don’t mask pain with alcohol, medications or drugs

· Eat a balanced diet and stay hydrated by drinking sufficient fluids

· Exercise to relieve stress

· Be with those who can provide comfort

· Talk with others who have experienced grief

Besides the 5 stages, those in the grip of grieving may experience other physical symptoms. It’s not uncommon to have memory loss, irritability, difficulty concentrating and bad dreams. There may also be loss of appetite, sleep and fatigue from being emotionally drained. And often they are silent because of a sense of being isolated.

It’s important to understand these feelings and symptoms are natural and universal for all grief sufferers and to know they are not alone. Medical professionals generally agree loss of a loved one is the most painful type of grief.

However, Ross’s cycle, doesn’t always apply. Researchers have found several patterns. For example, some people suffer grief, and others show none.

In fact, some physicians have discovered avoiding grief sometimes helps recovery. Some who repressed their grief were psychologically and physically healthier after their losses than others who had grieved. An interesting discovery, but it shouldn’t be viewed as denial.

It should be noted here, male and females have been shown to grieve differently. Many women talk, cry and are outwardly expressive of their grief. Men on the other hand tend to be more close mouthed and less expressive of their inner feelings.

But, regardless of how one copes it has been revealed as many as one-third suffer physical or mental effects ranging from depression, anxiety and impaired immune systems to heart disease. It has also been shown those who are spiritually strong handle grief better than those who aren’t.

To assist a person with their grief there are a few things which may prove helpful. First, never force personal methods on them. Instead, respect the person and let them choose how to deal with it. It’s also important not to minimize a loss with statements like “Just get over it.” The simple act of being with a mourner and listening is sometimes the best method.

Here is a good link to available resources:


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • JY3502 profile imageAUTHOR

      John Young 

      6 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      No problem. Feel free to do so, and thanks for asking.

    • frogyfish profile image


      6 years ago from Central United States of America

      You gave some useful advice and some physical activities to do as help for someone grieving; excellent tips, for we must care for our bodies so it can help care for our mind/emotions. Great helpful hub. I would like to link yours to mine on 'Passings..." if that's ok.

    • JY3502 profile imageAUTHOR

      John Young 

      7 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      MartieCoetser, I've had many years of practice and some good teachers. But there are better writers. Gives me something to shoot for. But great comments like yours help keep me inspired. Thanks Martie

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 

      7 years ago from South Africa

      Well-written, covering all relevant facts about grief. Let's face it, JY, you are a brilliant journalist. Thumbs up!

    • JY3502 profile imageAUTHOR

      John Young 

      7 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      Rachelle Williams, you're right. That was an insensitive remark by someone who should have known better. I wonder if they graduated?

    • Rachelle Williams profile image

      Rachelle Williams 

      7 years ago from Tempe, AZ

      You hit the nail right on the head when you wrote" It’s also important not to minimize a loss with statements like “Just get over it.”

      I experienced crushing personal grief in 2008. At the time, I was in school, and one of my friends, a Psych PhD grad student no less..., pretty much told me to get over it.

      I have since recovered from my grief, but I will never forget that absolutely ridiculous statement from someone who certainly should have known better.

      Vote Up for a Great Hub!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)