- Mental Health
Coping with Family Crises for Parents and Kids
There are a number of issues that could be considered a crisis.
Financial problems: Most of us are in that same boat and living on the average salary gets us by from day to day but there are times when families have lost it all and this causes a major upset in the household.
There is nothing more stressful than knowing that you have done all you can and will still loose everything. Children are able to see there play stations being taken away along with the television and all your extravagant possessions. To explain to your children that you will no longer have a roof over your head or a car to get to school with can be daunting and very emotional for everyone.
How to Cope:
Remember that it is not your fault and you have done all you can for your family.
Keep in mind that if you are under pressure and stress, your children can feel it too.
Explain to your children that you will be changing your lifestyle for a while and that although it will be difficult to be without a television or a car and a secure place to live it is only temporary.
Never show them that you have no idea what to do next and make them feel safe and secure at all times.
Parents under financial strain argue and this should be kept out of the ears of your children because they are sensitive already.
Don't go into too much detail about what is happening as this is just too much information for children to take in.
Make sure that you try hard to help mom and dad where you can. Wash dishes, clean up after yourselves and try not to waste anything. If you are feeling confused or scared then talk to your parents about how you feel. Ask questions if you need to and try not to get involved in mom and dad's conversations when they are busy discussing things. Try not to fight with your siblings as this causes added stress.
Always remember that everything will work out again and keep your faith, keep yourself calm and stick together as a family.
Children today are aware of the dangers of intercourse and the consequences without protection.
Parents need to ensure that their children are aware of the dangers and you need to let your children know that protection or prevention is necessary.
Peer pressure is a cause of teenage pregnancies and children do not fully understand just how much work it is to raise a child and the expense that goes with it.
If your child falls pregnant than you need to make sure that she understands exactly what it is that she has gotten herself into and you need to be supportive now because it has happened and that is all there is to it!
Financially it will be a strain but hopefully the boy involved will play his part and your daughter needs to know about what happens in pregnancy and what to expect up until theday the baby is born. She needs to learn how to handle her child and of course now will need to know how to support her child as you can't support them forever.
Look at good after care services and help her look for jobs that she can do to be able to spend time with her baby.
As her parents all you can do is be supportive and be there for her but avoid the lectures as it is now too late for that.
Take a look into social welfare and try to find all the support systems there are out there because it is a tough ride when pride gets in the way.
She has fallen pregnant, she needs to take responsibility for her actions and will need to know how to support herself and her baby for their future and if the father of the child does get involved then he needs to be aware of what his duties will be.
If you have fallen pregnant then just remember that your family will be disappointed but they will support you. DON'T do anything rash or stupid and go straight to them for help.
Don't be ashamed but move forward because being a mom means that you need to be strong and know how to support yourself.
Losing a family member or a friend is a very difficult thing to get through and family are the only people that will ever understand just how much it hurts. Be supportive of each other and know that you are not alone, there are people to talk to and never hold in your emotions.
Everyone needs to deal with loss and each person has their own way of doing so but keeping in your emotions will do you know good and it will affect you or your children in the future.
Deal with it straight away. You have suffered a loss and you need to understand what that means.
Cry: There is nothing better than having a good, hearty cry or scream to let out what you are feeling. People who keep it in will be effected by it later on in life, so give yourself time to mourn now.
Parents and children need to communicate their feelings and work together to let the suffering ease gently. Don't think that your children will not see that you have been effected because they will and children need to understand what loss is and how it will make them feel and they also need to know that only time will help them heal and that the feeling of loss never goes away but you need to work on moving forward in your lives because life continues on and you need to be a part of it.
If you cannot deal with loss than it is important to get some help and support from others.
Anger might come out in one of your family members but have patience for each other and know that your family are there to get you through.
Parents that argue and fight in front of their children cause a damaging and lasting effect on their kids. DON'T FIGHT IN front OF THE CHILDREN!
Take your arguments outside and keep your children out of it. They need mom and dad so it is important for you both to be there for them as divorce is very difficult on children.
Don't make them take sides and if you and your spouse end up hating each other just keep it to yourself because you are both parents and your children need both of you.
Divorce is ugly and it is not pleasant for anyone. If you have tried to work on your marriage and you have tried to save it and still feel that divorce is the only route than don't feel like you have failed. These things happen and ending it amicably will allow your entire family to get through it a lot easier. Don't spend your time thinking of what you should've, could've done but how you will move forward from here.
Both parent's should have equal rights to the children and maybe time away from each other during the process will do you both good. Keep your distance and take your anger out away from each other or you will later regret it. Remember that you have had good times and that because you have children the only option for you both is to end it on a happy note for the sake of your family.
Don't keep your kid's in the dark and let them know what is going to happen and where they are going to live and when they will see their parents. You need to let them know that you both love them equally, that it is not their faults and that you will still be a family even though you are not together.
Children must ask their parents if they have any questions about divorce that has not been explained. You need to know that it is not your fault and that you are still very much loved by both your mom and dad and they are not leaving because of you.
There are councellors or psychologists to speak to about how your parents divorce makes you feel and it is probably a good idea to air out your feelings rather than keep them in and remember that your parents did love each other and divorce is difficult for them too. They need space and time to heal but you all need to be supportive of each other and stand together as a family, regardless of where each parent lives.
Drugs and Alcohol
Should you have a child that you suspect of doing drugs or abusing alcohol than you need to approach it head on and do not avoid the issue or assume that it is not happening. There are signs thrown at you but you need to be aware and alert. Parents should always know what their children are doing, where they are going and who they are hanging out with.
If you suspect your child of using than deal with it now before it's too late!
You have to be firm and supportive, get them the help that they need and do not let them continue on this path as it will only end badly. Look up rehabilitation centres and support groups to help you with your child.
Should you be pressured into doing drugs or abusing alcohol by your friends than they ARE NOT your friends and if it continues it WILL DESTROY YOUR LIFE! It is not worth it and if there is something bothering you the drugs and alcohol will not make it better only worse and will eventually destroy both you and your family. Get help immediately and talk to your parents or find a support group yourself but you need to get your family involved as they will understand eventually and will be willing to be by your side to help you recover. If you do not get help and think that you will be able to stop just remember that it is not that easy and drugs will eventually be the death of you. STOP now and fix your future.
Parents should try not to get angry because it could happen to anyone but the point is to fix the problem and let your children know that you are there to help them. Give them love and support and help them get onto the road of recovery quickly.
If a parent is abusing alcohol or drugs than you need to get outside help and contsct an aunt or uncle along with a support group. Let your parents know that they need help and that it is a sickness that does not make you feel safe. Never try to tackle it yourself as it will only get worse.
Rehabilitation centres will help your parent to recover and things will be very different at home with the sober parent. Be supportive, give them space and time to heal.
Allowing it to continue will destroy all your lives and do not be afraid to get help from family or friends.
School and Pressure
Children are under a lot more pressure these days at school not just with the work load but with the peer pressure too.
Always be aware of what they are doing, show interest and help where you can. Don't make things too easy for them and allow them room to grow and think for themselves.
Television and play station should be kept to a minimul during the school week. There is plenty of time for this on the weekend and to avoid extra pressure with school work, keeping them from games during the week will help.
If they are doing too many activities after school you need to monitor this and cut it down if it looks like it's too much for them.
Let your children know that you are there to help them, be patient with them and give them freedom to make decisions.
Children at school should try to unwind with having some outdoor activity to stimulate their brains in a different way. Stress is caused by gaming and late nights so avoid those as much as you can.
If you feel like you cannot cope with school work or an activity or even a schoolmate, never be afraid to let your parents or teachers know.
Try your best and work hard than you will reap the benefits later. Don't be afraid to fail sometimes because these are lessons that will teach you to do things differently in the future.
Ask for help, try your best and find a balance between school and a social life. Get sleep because deprivation of this can cause so many things to go wrong.
Enjoy your time at school because your youth will never return and once you are in the working world, life changes!
Avoid Being an Absent Parent
Stress can cause many flaws in a family relationship as the parents argue and find ways to deal with the crisis but often forget that the kids are in the middle of it all. Often parents don't seem to realise that their kids are in trouble and are feeling the stress just as much as their parents as the security blanket feels as though it has been removed.
As a parent it is very important to communicate with the kids by letting them know that everything will be alright and that there is a bad patch happening. You can avoid all the heavy details and you need to let them know that you are still present and active in their lives by giving them the five minutes of your time to listen to what they have to say.
You as a parent need to read the signs when your children seem unhappy and if you are too busy arguing and putting your head down then you might miss something crucial which could lead to something detrimental in the near future, giving you all more to worry about.
Take the time to listen to your kids, talk to your kids and spend some sort of quality time with them. It is important to do this so that they feel loved and secure and it will help you read the signs when something might be wrong or they will feel that they can open up to you and approach you when they need help.