Dealing with internal inconsistencies in personality
Personality - the facets that makes an individual unique
Every individual has so many faces, and it is these facets of the personality that make a person interesting. That is what gives depth and colour to an otherwise monochrome kind of image, of which you get tired after sometime. I am intrigued and greatly interested as anyone would be, in a personality of such a nature. That is not what I want to talk about here; it is when the tones of these facets of personality are jarring and are not consistent with each other, that I am troubled. When you meet a person apparently helpful, mature, a person of integrity and knowledge, you are glad to make the acquaintance. As you get acquainted, you meet the different facets and facades, if you are perceptive enough. Dig a little down and there you unearth things that you would rather not see. You are overwhelmed with doubts. What do you do? Exercise caution, apply the brakes on further progress and let the tires screech. Yes, I want to talk about the internal inconsistencies of the personality of a person and intuition, a woman’s intuition in particular.
Inconsistency in personality - causing a dilemma - To trust or not to trust
Integrity and honesty are what make for trustworthiness. Most of us would find it difficult to trust a person who is wishy-washy. It is easy to be distrustful or to have nothing to do with such a person. No issues there – none at all. It is when you have to deal with a very agreeable, intellectual, suave and rather respectable person with whom you find it easy to relate to, but you intuitively feel something is wrong, that things become difficult. If you were an unsuspecting, trusting and simple person, you would have no doubts crossing your mind. Why would you doubt another human being who never did you any harm, but in fact, was rather helpful? But life is not always about easy decisions and choices; there are moments when it gets much too complicated.
To do or not to do - personality problems.
One such moment would be, when you find you have to deal with your own internal inconsistency. Internal inconsistencies are rather troubling to an individual who is aware of them, within himself or herself. It causes division within self; the self does not know which one side is the real self. It causes a wide variation in behaviour, sometimes to the extent of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but most often only just enough to cause the cracks to show up at times. The inconsistencies within are enough to cause the imbalance of the mental processes. They destroy not only the ability of the individual to function well, but also destroy the credibility of the individual in the society. It causes a sense of paranoia among those who live or interact with the individual. People are wary of everything that the person says or does.
Dealing with lying, manipulative and exploitative people
If you had to approach this lack of internal consistency from another perspective, you will see things differently. Imagine you had to live or interact with such a person. What would your thoughts be every moment of the day? Would you feel safe and secure or will you be wondering what that person will come up with next? You would be doubly wary if the other person was intellectual or extremely clever. You could be the victim of manipulation and some clever exploitation. Your mind is constantly trying to sort out and figure out what is a lie and what is the truth. What is truth? The classic question; truth means many things to many people. For some, truth has only two colors-black and white; for others, it has many shades. One man’s food or one man’s lie is another man’s misery.
Personality issues - handling pathological lying and manipulative behavior
Pathological lying, cheating and manipulation can be very unnerving and when you have to live with it everyday, you start to lose your balance. You don’t even know if the decisions that you make are yours or if they very cleverly manipulated by the other. You wonder if the person has emotion or is totally devoid of emotions. You wonder if he/she is human any longer. Their sense of personal integrity lost, they seem all stitched up and patched together, just barely holding up. Yet, they leave a trail of negative feelings, emotions and hurt in their path.
Understanding personality issues
I wonder how it would feel to switch sides once again. If I am a person with internal inconsistencies, I am constantly fighting against myself. Maybe I do things that I do not want to do, and then I am in conflict with my better self. The higher-self in me is being drowned by the baser-self and I am in pain. As time progresses, it may become a second nature to me and I may not feel anything at all. Maybe, I would just use any unsuspecting person, to get my needs met, or maybe, just maybe, make a slave of them for my pleasure. I dare not think further on those lines. It is too spine chilling and uncomfortable for me. I think I will let the person be and sort out his/her own problems. But I have a certain feeling of sadness wash over me; I wonder if I could help? Do you think such persons could be helped? Or would they accept help? I am left with so many questions.
Intuition in handling personality issues
Intuition, the intuition of a woman, is again a very intriguing subject. Intuition is a gift and you have to learn to use it effectively to become skillful. This skill is only developed as far as you will let it develop. You could make mistakes in judgment; it is a risk you have to take, to develop this skill. Being flexible and ready to accept your mistakes and learn from them is the key. My intuition tells me that when I meet with such people, move on. Do not stop or slow down; do not be in the vicinity. My training, experience and maturity tells me, watch and wait, see how it pans out. Shield yourself from danger; keep the distance. My womanly and rather humane approach, however, tells me, “Help, the person needs help”. Training teaches me that personal help will not be enough; they need solid professional help. I will take the middle path, I will respect and accept the person as he or she is, but will be on guard. I will not be judgmental or negative in my approach. I will let the person have a chance to prove themselves. Writing this has helped me to clarify my thought processes. Be more objective in my approach. What would you do? What do you think? I would like to hear from you …..
P.S. This hub is not meant to be read as a psychiatric classification of personality disorder or even a classic help guide for dealing with personality issues... the writer was trying to look at the issue from different perspectives to get a layman's view of the problem.