Dealing with the death of a family member

Dealing with death is never easy. Myself (Darryl Crawford) and my brother Byron Crawford know that all so well, losing our father Ronald Crawford when were young children in 75' and our mother Naomi Crawford on May 15, 1996 and then losing of eldest brother Ronald Milton James Crawford, this year September 20, 2010. Of course their has been other passing's on our family (on both sides) however this hub is pertaining to my immediate family members.

It's a fact that we all will face one day. One thing I realized about life is, when you have it, don't waste your time meddling around in other people's life and affairs. Go live your life and make a difference. Like TODAY!

Life on earth is short. If you want to get married, pray about it and then find yourself a good mate (of course use wisdom) and then get married. If you want to travel to a distant land, save up the money and do it. If you want to go back to school, do that. If you want to own a home, save up for that, no matter how long it takes, do it. It's better to be making progress than to put things off and say "we'll do that maybe next season or in 5-10 years".

I'm not writing this to cause any one any fear, that is the total opposite of my hub. In fact you should love the people in your life as much as you can while they are here so that when it's your time to go or theirs, they know where you stand with them. Life is full of surprises and I can tell you that my brother has done so much in his life and I believe he wanted to do more. Many people loved him besides his family and friends, because Ron would give you his all even when he was down, he would. He was one of the toughest fighters I've ever known.

That is something I have learned from Ron and my older brother Byron. I was blessed to have 2 brothers to lean on when I was younger. I was blessed to have a loving mother who raised up 3 boys on her own after daddy died at the age of 29. She kept us in line and lovingly showed us the in's and out's of life. Though it would have been nice to know what it was like growing up having a father (human father) still I have no regrets and I thank God for the experiences I had growing up. I thank God for being there when I needed a father figure around and God would send someone around for the time being. Love and Forgiveness is a part of life and most surely apart of family life.

When it comes to family, you have to love, forgive and forget. Your family comes first in the line of forgiveness, everyone else is second except in extreme cases where there was no love from the parents. Whether you did them wrong or vice versa, family has to forgive in order to stay a family. Even if they will not let go of the hurt they have caused or you have caused them. Sometimes we have to be the leader and just let it go and let God. We cannot truly love someone if we have not forgiven them.

One of Ron's favorite quotes was "Don't Let Anyone Tell You What You Can't Do. If You Have A Dream, Protect It. If You Want Something - GO GET IT!" Ronald was not a quitter and I learned from him and my brother Byron, THAT IT'S WHEN THINGS SEEM WORSE THAT WE MUST NOT QUIT.Ronald's funeral was really good. We in the family all knew that we would rather know that he's out of pain, in heaven with Mom and Dad than to be here in agony. We have to realize that death is not the ending of joy, but really it's the beginning of great joy, everlasting joy for our loved ones. Though we on earth may not want them to leave just yet, we have to use wisdom and know that physical death is a natural part of life. We are truly spirit beings, we have a soul (containing our mind, will and emotion) and we live in a body. We Christians believe that when we die, our spirit returns to the creator, free from all the bondage on earth. Jesus delivers those from death who accepted him as our Lord and Savior. This simply means, we give up going through life on our own, making our own way through life without direction. Jesus is the Light and gives us a purpose. I believe without God (who is Love) we have no purpose. Without God, our purpose is ultimately selfish, not selfless. I loved Ronald. I love my brother Byron as well, that's coming from the heart, where it should come from, my fellow hubbers..

Though without God (LOVE) we can do good things but all in all they are always and only conditional for a period of time, (from 1 minute to 20 years) it's still conditional, either way. The idea is that it has a expiration date on it within the heart. When God enters into your life we learn that there is no end to God's forgiveness, love, mercy and strength.

I will end this hub by saying be real to yourself and your family and friends. Love one another. Let it show. Let it be written in your family's heart and mind. Husband's, love your wives, and wives love your husband's. Men love and respect the women in your life and women love and respect the men in your life. If you have trouble with that, God can and will help, every step of the way. It's not an easy walk if there is much pain from the past but it's not impossible. At times we wait for the other to say something........it's time to speak up first perhaps and just say those three words which they need to hear from you. 3 words...."I LOVE YOU, even if you don't love me, I want you to know that I LOVE YOU". "I forgive you, even if you don't forgive me, I forgive you". Etc. Say it loud, make it clear. It's important. Time is precious. Life is precious.

Let go of the old hurts you used to nurse and just start over. It's most likely one of the most important things to do in life. Show you care. Be the difference that will last forever in memory.

I look forward when I will see my Mom my Dad and my brother, but not now. I have life and I have so much I desire to accomplish. God is good. Do good to yourselves and each other.

IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS SICK AND NEED TO KNOW WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH PLEASE VISIT MY HUB ON IT!