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Depression, the Fuse of Possibilities, Not the End of Life.

Updated on February 4, 2020
cherylone profile image

I have three children and seven grandchildren. I worked full time while raising my family. I have been there.

The fuse

Depression Is Diverse

Let’s face it, we all face depression of some degree during our lifetimes. The car breaks down, the kids are all sick, the divorce is going badly, the animals need to go to the vet, the boss wants you to work late all week, the stove breaks, the fridge is on the fritz, the roof leaks, the snow shovel get the idea, right? When things go wrong, we become a bit depressed; the more problems the deeper the depression. It is normal and natural. It happens to the best of us, and most adjust to it when necessary.

What do you do when a fuse blows? You check to see what caused it, right? Sometimes it's as easy as plugging in less items; sometimes it's something that is shorting out. Find the cause, fix the cause, put in a new fuse and you are all set. Life isn't quite as easy as that, but finding the cause(s) of your depression is still the first step in dealing with depression.

Do You Ever Feel That Things Get Out of Hand?

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Life Can be a Pressure Cooker

Sometimes life is more than one or two things that can be easily fixed. Like the proverbial 'straw that broke the camel's back'. The little things added to the one or two big things will drag you further and further down until you feel that there is no hope. You feel like you are inside a pressure cooker; and, if just one more thing happens, the top (your top) will blow! And your stable life will suddenly become a web of anger, fear and helplessness. That will be just the beginning.

It is a circumstance of everyday life for things to go wrong. We all know how true that is; but I’m not saying that when one or two things go wrong you should immediately fall into a woe is me attitude. The attitude (your attitude and your outlook on life) is what makes or breaks the camel's back, so to speak.

Money flying out the window. as more things break.
Money flying out the window. as more things break. | Source

You Can Release the Pressure

We all live with problems every day. The boss is mad, the bathroom just flooded, the car won't start; just another day, right? But what about when more and more pile on? While you are trying to find solutions for the ones that happened yesterday and the day before, more problems are added to the growing pile today. You see money flying out the window in huge flocks as you see the car being repossessed or the house going into foreclosure. The saying bad things happen in threes gets far outdistanced by the twentieth item that goes wrong. Well, not quite that bad, but the feelings are there and so is the worry. The emotional roller-coaster has begun it's trip downhill; and an overfull balloon can pop.

Its normal for the depression to begin sneaking up on you at this point; because you have worn yourself out trying to find all the solutions you need. The one thing you need to remember during these rough times is the door is there, it’s just temporarily closed by the pressures of what’s happening’. The trick is to know that the door is there; there is a way back; things can get better!


Like an overfull balloon, too much will blow the whole thing up.
Like an overfull balloon, too much will blow the whole thing up. | Source

Don't face the down hill run alone.Seek out family, trusted friends, counselors, pastors, priests even coaches. These are all people you might be able to approach.

Find Support

Having someone to talk out the problem with is often a huge help when things keep going wrong. Although we are a solitary species, we often need to have that extra 'umph' when it comes to problems. Also, when you need help---SEEK IT!!!!!!!! Don't try to do things alone all the time, especially when bad things just keep piling up; because then deep depression will set in and you will be in trouble (your raft of life will seem to be sinking and sharks will seem to surround it).

Often, by just talking out the issue you can find a solution; or someone might offer a solution; or sometimes you can simply get a second opinion that can help guide you to a solution. Of course, life is never simple and sometimes even sources that have helped before are useless; what then? Well, crying works for some as does pouting, grumbling, and the occasional temper tantrum, right? Although such things might work for children, we adults know better. Or at least we have been taught that such things are beyond us. However, venting is an excellent way to release pressure so that we can find a proper solution. So vent with someone even if it is your favorite pillow. Silly, I know, but it does work for some people so give it a try.

How It Might Add Up

Problems at home
Problems at work
Miscellaneous Problems
medical bills
boss wants you to work late all the time
in-laws don't like you
vet bills
your work has been poor
neighbor's dog keeps messing on your lawn
car broke down
you have been late because of the kids
local kids damaged your new car
issues with the kids
you were blamed for someone else's mistake
the new guy took your parking space at work
marriage issues
you might be demoted
the new guy took credit for your hard work

Don't sweat the small stuff, but when there are too many of them, seek help! Like a pressure cooker or an overfull balloon, things can pop.

Even when you need help, you are not crazy. You are just over-stressed.

When You Should Seek Help From a Professional

So the talking didn't help (and neither did the tantrum that you gave in and threw, LOL), so now what? Sometimes we need more than just someone to talk to; sometimes we need the help of a professional. Does that mean we are crazy? Does that mean we are weak or stupid? Does that mean we are incapable of being an adult anymore? Does that mean your life is ending? The answer is a very loud and resounding NO! It just means we need a little more help, that's all.

When that pressure cooker blows it's top, or the raft starts to sink and family and friends can no longer seem to help the issue (or perhaps they are the cause of the issue), then it may be time to seek a professional. Can a professional automatically fix the problems that plague you? No, but they can help you focus on an answer rather than the problem. They can help you shake the 'woe is me' attitude and find that it really isn't the end. They can help you face the problems so you can more easily fix them; then you can replace the broken 'fuse' and move on in your life.

Will it mean that you will eventually 'fix' everything that is wrong? Probably not, but that also doesn't mean the end of the world. Some problems just can't be fixed. Some must be faced, changed, accepted, or perhaps ignored depending on the issue. How the problem is addressed is something you will have to work our for yourself; however, a professional can help you to see the door and find some of the answers. They can also help you to accept your strengths and weaknesses. They can help you to work on ways to strengthen yourself. They can help you to finally take that first step through the door.


Depression Can Trap You

Professionals can help you avoid the thoughts that accompany depression such as helplessness or that everyone would be better off without you. They can help help you defeat the trap of depression and find a way out of the hole. But don't be fooled into thinking they can fix everything after one visit (or even two). Sometimes it may take many visits and even medications or group therapy before the issues are finally in control.

But that doesn't mean that the problems will go away. Professionals cannot fix your problems, they can only help you to find your own balance. Try to be patient and follow your doctor's advice; and try to remember that "Depression is the fuse (that says something is wrong) not the end (of all things)". With help from family, friends, and/or professionals depression can be helped.

Help can break the cycle that depression causes. The negative thoughts, the woe is me attitude, and the feeling of being lost are all signs of depression.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2011 Cheryl Simonds


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