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Designer Bottled Air - The Next Big Thing?

Updated on December 16, 2017
Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank wrote humorous bits for her college newspaper many years ago. Her funny observations have continued in print and online.

This is a Water Faucet


Not so many years ago we thought it was crazy that someone would think you could sell plain water in plastic bottles.

We thought it was crazy because water was free... just like ... air.

Water came out of the fountains at the school yard.

It came out of the tap at home.

It came out of the garden hose if you were playing in the backyard.

Seen above ...

It is the device that used to provide our water until we discovered that we could pay much, much more for the same water in a bottle.

If you went to a restaurant, there were glasses of water, with ice in it, sitting in front of each patron.

It was free, just like the air we breathe.

People would by sodas in bottles, or lemonade, or milk or beer -- but not water.

That would just be crazy. Who would spend money on something that is free?


BUT, They Did... and Still Do

Today it seems that everyone is carrying a bottle of water in the hand that doesn't have a cell phone in it.

Millions of individual bottles, some glass-- but mostly plastic, are purchased, sipped from, and disposed of every day. Water is advertised, praised, marketed, touted and sold at exorbitant prices.

Some brands come in pretentious designer bottles, have hints of flavor or carbonation, and are acclaimed for qualities of refreshment, purity, clarity and uniqueness of sources which are purported to be artesian wells, blue glaciers, underground vernal pools, or natural bubbling springs with exceptional qualities.

Most are actually filtered tap water.

It's the same water, that used to be free.

Actually, tap water costs almost a penny per large glass-- but some people are willing to pay up to three dollars for "designer water".

But who can argue with success?

Around the world, it is estimated that about 200 billion bottles of water are consumed annually, with about a quarter of that amount guzzled or sipped in the USA.

"AIREDALE " -- Purified Air-- Your Best Friend in a Bottle

Logical branding for the new bottled air product line. Purified air with a slight friendly hint of a perfectly groomed canine coat that reminds you of your best freind.
Logical branding for the new bottled air product line. Purified air with a slight friendly hint of a perfectly groomed canine coat that reminds you of your best freind. | Source

"AIR COMMAND" -- "Invigorating Air for a Take Charge Attitude"

Breathe in the power of a clear blue sky, sparked by red lightening. It puts you in control"
Breathe in the power of a clear blue sky, sparked by red lightening. It puts you in control" | Source

I know this sounds improbable, but maybe we should also bottle air and get it out there on the supermarket shelves.

Now, I'm not talking about oxygen concentrators or other medical-use air, I mean regular air that we breathe in and out, day in and day out. The kind of air that is free.

Think about it, before you brush off the idea, after all, we never thought people would buy water-- remember?

These days people seem to like the convenience of having fresh, clean water to quench their thirst at a moment's notice.

They think it is much fresher and cleaner than water they could get from a tap. They also think it is better for them.

It probably wouldn't be too hard to convince people that bottled air is also a necessity so they could instantly have fresh, clean air to breathe.

This could be important to people who live in areas where air quality is bad, or for people who suffer from allergies.

Bottling and selling purified air, with the proper branding, packaging and promotion could become just as successful and popular as selling bottled water.

The designer bottles could have a flip top with a two-pronged soft canula, or nose piece, that is inserted into the nostrils.

A slight squeeze of the air bottle would provide a quick whiff, or a deep breath, of pure air to revive and refresh the breathing being.

Think about selling air bottled in Hawaii or Fiji and selling it as "Tropical Breeze" with a lush rain washed freshness that has just a hint of salt sea zephyrs.

Or how about "Alpine Air" from the crisp invigorating, rarefied, high country that surrounds the French Alps.

"ASCENDENCE" Bottled Air--"Take a Whiff, It Will Give You a Lift"

Pure, recycled air from hot air balloons, which has been purified by blue propane flames and cooled in the upper atmosphere.
Pure, recycled air from hot air balloons, which has been purified by blue propane flames and cooled in the upper atmosphere. | Source

Or maybe "Desert Aire" with a trace of dry Sahara Breezes, or "Country Spring" which recalls the fresh atmosphere of growing season down on the farm.

The possibilities are endless.

Another advantage would be that bottles of air would be lightweight, therefore easy to lift and transport.

There could also be air dispensing machines at supermarkets so people could refill five gallon bottles if they wanted to take them home to refresh the atmosphere in their homes.

"Air Freshener Air"

The nostalgic scent of  grandma's house.
The nostalgic scent of grandma's house. | Source

A Multitude of Brands

The US has about 160 different brands of bottled water.

We were obviously wrong to think that no one would ever buy it.

There must be similar, or even greater potential for bottled various brands of bottled air products.

The UK has about the same number of branded waters, while the United Arab Emerites has only four brands.

(You'd think that desert countries would have more, with water being so precious.)

Even China has 64 different brands of water, but Germany tops all countries with about 615 different brands of H20.

Wouldn't you think that all of these countries, with perhaps the exception of UAE, would be open to the idea of buying cases of bottled air? We could make a fortune!

If you see this product, buy the stock.

Air could be the next big scam ... I mean... next big thing.

Would you buy bottled air?

See results

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