ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Do You Let Numbers And Sizes Define Your Happiness?

Updated on August 7, 2017
kiradokos profile image

Kira owns a gym with her husband. She has been all over the fitness spectrum and wants to share her knowledge about the 'fitness industry'.

Do you define your health and the way you look with a specific size or number?

See results

In my 29 years of life I have always defined my self-image and the way I feel about myself through a number or a size. I have always thought:

'If only I were a size ___ I would be beautiful.'

'If only I weighed ____ I would be skinny.'

'If only I could fit into these size jeans from this store, then I would be happy.'

We seem to always be chasing a number on the scale or a size on our clothes and when we aren't there we aren't happy. We keep telling ourselves that we aren't this, or that, because we aren't there yet. We obsess over it so much so that it rules our thoughts.


When I was younger, I remember going in to a store and trying on jeans that were popular. I remember wanting so badly to be in a size 2 and when I tried on these particular jeans I was a size 5! A SIZE 5. I couldn't believe it. I was determined to make them fit! I jumped around like a crazy person. I decided to lay on the floor and see if being flat would help. You know, having gravity be in my favor. Nothing worked. I started to hate myself, shame myself and make a mental note to not eat so I could be skinnier and fit into the jeans. I remember looking at myself in the mirror and calling myself fat. How could I be a size 5 right now when I am wearing a size 3? It doesn't make sense!

What I didn't realize then and what has only recently started to click is that those numbers are just a number. They don't define me. They don't dictate my self worth. What I realize now is that just because I wear a particular size in one brand doesn't mean it will be the same in another. Why couldn't I understand that back then? Why did it take me so long to realize I am far better than that number? That my happiness isn't indicative on a size or a number.


But what happens when we actually get there though? Are we really any happier? Or does the happiness fade and we want to get even smaller, look like this and that. We continue a cycle of inevitable failure. We constantly are reminding ourselves about what we aren't. We continue to deprive ourselves of what we need the most: self love.

Did you know that most of the time the number or size you are shooting for isn't healthy for you or your body type? I have always thought that 110 was a good number for me. So I obsessed about getting that low. I would weigh myself daily once before and once after the workout. I would take off my shoes just to get closer to that number. I was a slave to that scale.


I reached it. But was I happy?
I reached it. But was I happy?

I had reached my goal of 110 but ultimately wasn't happy. I was on a strict diet, exercising like crazy and for what? To still be unhappy? I didn't look like whom I wanted to look like. I didn't look like the girls on the magazines. I didn't look like the girls on social media. I was constantly obsessing about the number on the scale. I was ultimately trapped. I was trapped in societies 'idea' of what is beautiful. I was trapped in thinking I had to look like the fitness gurus, the girls on the magazines and the models. I couldn't see the beauty in myself. I felt like I had so much pressure on myself to be something I wasn't. What has hit me the most and what I have learned is that a healthy weight for someone else isn't a healthy weight for you.

And you know what? I can't even fit into those jean shorts anymore and I couldn't be happier! I am living my life and not living my life for a number. I am focusing more on my health, my family and living.

We all need to stop focusing so much on a number or size and to stop letting it rule our lives. Numbers and sizes don't define me and they don't define you. They shouldn't control you. They shouldn't ultimately be the deciding factor on your happiness and the way you love yourself.

Loving yourself and loving your journey will be the most rewarding thing if you allow yourself to do so.

© 2017 Kira Dokos

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)