ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Domestic Abuse in Teenage Dating

Updated on August 13, 2019
Pamela99 profile image

I'm interested in social issues, relationships, problems of daily living, jobs, exercise, poems and fiction, plus safer living conditions.

Be Aware of Signs of Teen Violence

Teen  Violence source kcdvtg respect
Teen Violence source kcdvtg respect

Violence in Teenage Dating

Statistics show that 1 in 3 teenagers have experienced violence while dating. Dating abuse crosses all racial, economic and social lines. Part of the problem is teen girls have not had much experience in dating, and they are affected by peer pressure.

Teens also want independence from their parents, plus they have a very romantic view of love. Then, some young men think they have a right to control their girlfriends with physical aggression. They may have seen this at home. They often demand intimacy. Read the list below and see if any of those characteristics are happening in your relationship.

Relationship abuse includes physical, psychological or emotional, sexual or stalking abuse. Each of these is damaging and unhealthy for the victim.

Domestic Violence Teen Dating Abuse 101 Citizens Against

Power and Control

A batterer or abuser’s goal is to gain power and control over you. He will use economic abuse, coercion and threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation and minimizing, denying and blaming you.

The abuser will use verbal, physical or sexual violence to get the control he seeks. No matter how many times he apologizes, he will not change. He is not able to change without long term help. Get away from him to be safe!

Description of Domestic Violence

The Mayo Clinic describes Domestic Violence as "domestic abuse, battering or intimate partner violence, which occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Other organizations have similar descriptions.

" Domestic is most often directed toward women and can occur in heterosexual or homosexual relationships." There are some women that are violent toward men but a much smaller percentage.

Mayo Clinic also spells out the signs of domestic abuse against men. They include threats of violence, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and even physical abuse. It may include name-calling, trying to control their victim, stopping them from going to work, acts of jealousy or all the other forms of abuse.

Teen Heartbreak


Suspicious Behaviors of Abuse

Below are actions that should make you suspicious of your partner's behavior and have concern for your own well being. It isn't always easy in the beginning to pick out these behaviors.

  • Resorts to name-calling and generally treats you disrespectfully when you are alone
  • Tries to control everywhere you go, whether to school or a friends house
  • Tries to isolate you slowly from friends, then family
  • Acts jealous is possessive and will accuse you of being unfaithful
  • Tries to control any money that you have as to how you spend it or may take it from you
  • Acts angrier or even violent when he has been drinking or doing drugs
  • Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you or your pets
  • He forces you to have sex against your will or make you perform acts you aren't comfortable with
  • May threaten you with a weapon or violence
  • Any fights or confrontations will be blamed on you with him saying you got what you deserved until his anger subsides
  • Apologies, he may bring you a gift the next day and tell you how sorry he is and he promises it will never happen again

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help from others, to get out of that relationship and/or to get some education to be able to yourself and your children if you have them. There are many agencies available now to help you. Some type of counseling and support is imperative as you need to begin emotional, physical and mental healing.

National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Week Promotion Video

Domestic Violence Hotline

Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE97233) or TTY 1-800-787-9884

My purpose in writing this article is to increase awareness of the teen violence problem. If you recognized any of the signs listed above, don't walk, run away from that relationship. You deserve someone who will treat you better. Get help from your family, a school counselor or an adult you can trust. These men don't change. I don't care what they promise. I have worked with many people affected by domestic violence, so be smart and get out fast while you can.

If you grew up in an alcoholic or drug abuse family, seek out self-help groups like Alanon or get some counseling. Learn to love yourself. You are perfect in God's eyes. You deserve a life that is rewarding, and you deserve to be happy. Being scared all the time is a terrible way to live.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


Submit a Comment
  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    11 months ago from Sunny Florida

    Hi Rajan,

    I agree t that abuse is horrid and should be dealy witth immediately, but I know it does not always work that way. I appreciate your comments.

  • rajan jolly profile image

    Rajan Singh Jolly 

    11 months ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA.

    Abuse in any form is to be abhorred and dealt with appropriately and firmly. Your suggestions are useful. Thanks for sharing.

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    13 months ago from Sunny Florida

    Hi Peggy,

    I never had that experience either but I think we live in a different time today but I wrote this articlle a while back. I hope the statistics have improved.

    Thank you for your comments.

  • Peggy W profile image

    Peggy Woods 

    13 months ago from Houston, Texas

    Hi Pamela,

    It is shocking to know that 1 out of 3 teenagers have experienced abuse when dating, if that statistic still holds true today. No one should put up with abuse! The signs and symptoms are good to know. Thankfully, I never had that type of experience.

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Suzzette, It is very sad. Hopefully we can increase awareness as the problem seems to be worse, instead of better. Thanks for your comments.

  • suzettenaples profile image

    Suzette Walker 

    8 years ago from Taos, NM

    Excellent and pertinent article. It is so sad that this is a problem with teenagers, at home and with dating. Very interesting and informative.

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Mary, Domestic violence has been a problem for such a long time, and I don't see where we have made any progress in combating this problem. As you said education is so important. Thanks so much for your comments.

  • tillsontitan profile image

    Mary Craig 

    8 years ago from New York

    As accurate and useful today as it was four years ago Pamela. Unfortunately domestic violence is still with us and anything we can do to educate people is certainly worth reading and spreading! This is a terrific piece.

    Voted up, useful, interesting and shared.

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Denise, I think you make a very good point concerning the communication between teens and their parents. I think sometimes teens don't want to tell their parents as parents will tend to be more protective and then the teens freedom may be a bit curtailed. I also think shame can be a reason they don't tell anyone. I agree with you about the confusion also. This is a serious problem.

    I appreciate your comments and the share.

  • Denise Handlon profile image

    Denise Handlon 

    8 years ago from North Carolina

    What an important message, Pamela. Thanks for sharing this. Part of the problem is the lack of communication between parent and child. There may be an overall disconnected relationship, or the teen may feel uncomfortable sharing this horrific ordeal.

    The other problem is the confusion that is evoked...even an independent girl in other areas of her life may crumble if she wants the security of a bf and then puts up with it.

    This is truly such an important hub. I'll be happy to share the message. UP/U/I

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    midget, They do have a choice, tough or otherwise. I had a tough time getting away from the violence even with restraining orders, but I did manage to break away. I never had any violence as a teen, but that should be a re flag for any girl. They have to make healthy choices for a happy, safe life. Thanks so much for your comments.

  • midget38 profile image

    Michelle Liew 

    8 years ago from Singapore

    I have personally come across a few teen boys who have resorted to violence because their girlfriends would not give in to their demands. It is hard for ladies who are married, but whatever it is, people always have the choice to break free of the violence, even if the choices are tough to make.

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Patricia, Some married women with children don't have many choices, but a single girl in college surely has choices. I don't undertand it either. Thanks for the comments.

  • pstraubie48 profile image

    Patricia Scott 

    8 years ago from North Central Florida

    Hi Pamela

    And why the girls stay with those abusive guys or why the guys stay with those abusive girls can be explained to be ten thousand times and I will not get it. My roommate in college my freshman year was beaten almost to a pulp and still she stayed with him. I kept telling her I would not come to her funeral if he succeeded in killing her.

    I do not know what happened to her as I transferred to a school closer to home and we lost touch.

    Thanks for sharing this o, so important topic.

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Rusti, I am a survivor also. I had hoped my article could reach young people because it this happens dating, they are quite likely to marry an abuser. That is a lifetime of misery as you cannot always get away easily. I eventually did, but mine stalked me for a couple of years also. Thanks for your comments and sharing your experience. I am going to read your hub. Thanks.

  • Rusti Mccollum profile image

    Ruth McCollum 

    8 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    This should not happen. I'm a domestic violence survivor. (I wrote my story hard as it was .) i think its great you wrote this .It helps make people more aware Thankyou

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    DDE, It is so sad to think it even occurs. I appreciate your comments.

  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 

    8 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    Domestic Abuse in Teenage Dating very interesting topic a useful and informative hub.

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    9 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Rolly, I see the same things on TV and in video games, which I believe has a very negative impact on children. I appreciate your comments as always. Blessings.

  • Rolly A Chabot profile image

    Rolly A Chabot 

    9 years ago from Alberta Canada

    Hi Pam... great article and you have done very well in pointing out the signs. We are growing into a society that has become more and more abusive. I has spread into all forms of society. Sadly to a point we fail to see it anymore. When I look at what is on TV and in video games abuse is becoming the norm. Hugs for writing this...

    Rolly in Canada

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    11 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Katiem, Thanks for you comments and I agree that there is a way out but many feel trapped in these abusive situations. I wanted to write an article aimed at those that aren't already married with children which further complicates the situation.

  • katiem2 profile image

    Katie McMurray 

    11 years ago from Ohio

    Pamela, This is a great domestic violence dating report, very to the point and very helpful information. The most profound thing you mentioned is that you just don't think of it as abuse it's as if they know how much to hold back until like you say, you feel trapped, good points. There is a way OUT! Peace :)

  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    11 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Abuse is all about control and that is not love. I completely agree with you and appreciate your comment.

  • Mystique1957 profile image


    11 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela


    It is always sad to hear these things. Abusers not only lack common sense, they lack love, true love. If you cannot be yourself for you have to accommodate your partner, it is an unhealthy relationship! I am bringing this hub to the light so new people can read it!

    Good hub!

    Thumbs up!

    warm regards and blessings,


  • Pamela99 profile imageAUTHOR

    Pamela Oglesby 

    12 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Thank you all for your comments. I think it is so important for people to understand the symptoms and how subtle this syndrome can start. You can easily be right in the middle of the abuse and wonder how you got there.

  • profile image

    Jordan Dill 

    12 years ago

    Excellent article! Simple and to the point. Enough information that will allow those who seek it not to be too overwhelmed!

  • Roberta99 profile image


    12 years ago

    Good information

  • Carrie DeSha profile image

    Carrie DeSha 

    12 years ago from Atlanta, GA

    This is great information! Sometimes seeing it in writing really helps to put things in perspective. I wish I could have shown this to my friend who was lucky to get out of an abusive relationship last May with only a black eye. It could have been (and surely would have gotten) a lot worse...

    I hope anyone who knows someone suffering domestic abuse can share this article.

  • profile image

    Diana Solomon 

    12 years ago

    You provided some excellent information with signs for people to watch for in a relationship. I was physically abused by an ex-boyfriend, but once it escalated to that point, I immediately terminated the relationship and moved away from him. You're right when you say they don't change, and they don't, even if they say they will, don't believe it. Good for you that you had the sense to know you deserved better, and did something about it!

  • Roberta99 profile image


    12 years ago

    Seeing all those behaviors listed really made me sit up and take notice as I always thought of abuse as mainly physical. This is a well written article. Roberta99

  • Robert Hartzell profile image

    Robert Hartzell 

    12 years ago from Jacksonville, FL

    Good article with lots of facts. Robert


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)