Domestic Abuse in Teenage Dating
Violence in Teenage Dating
Statistics show that 1 in 3 teenagers have experienced violence while dating. Dating abuse crosses all racial, economic and social lines. Part of the problem is teen girls haven't had much experience in dating, and they are effected by peer pressure.
Teens also want independence from their parents, plus they have a very romantic view of love. Then, some young men think they have a right to control their girlfriends with physical aggression. They may have seen this at home. They often demand intimacy. Read the list below and see if any of those characteristics are happening in your relationship.
Be Aware of Signs of Teen Violence
Domestic Violence Teen Dating Abuse 101 Citizens Against
Power and Control
A batterer or abuser’s goal is to gain power and control over you. He will use economic abuse, coercion and threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation and minimizing, denying and blaming you. The abuser will use verbal, physical or sexual violence to get the control he seeks. No matter how many times he apologizes, he will not change. He is not able to change without long term help. Get away from him to be safe.
Description of Domestic Violence
The Mayo Clinic describes Domestic Violence as "domestic abuse, battering or intimate partner violence which occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Other organizations have similar descriptions. Domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse." Domestic is most often directed toward women and can occur in heterosexual or homosexual relationships. There are some women that are violent toward men but a much smaller percentage.
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Suspicious Behaviors to be Aware of
Below are actions that should make you suspicious of your partner's behavior and have concern for your own well being. It isn't always easy in the beginning to pick out these behaviors.
- Resorts to name calling and generally treats you disrespectfully when you are alone
- Tries to control everywhere you go, whether to school or a friends house
- Tries to isolate you slowly from friends then family
- Acts jealous, is possessive and will accuse you of being unfaithful
- Tries to control any money that you have as to how you spend it or may take it from you
- Acts more angry or even violent when he has been drinking or doing drugs
- Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you or your pets
- He forces you to have sex against your will or make you perform acts you aren't comfortable with
- May threaten you with a weapon or violence
- Any fights or confrontations will be blamed on you with him saying you got what you deserved until his anger subside
- Apologies, may bring you a gift the next day and tells you how sorry he is as he promises it will never happen again
It takes a lot of courage to ask for help from others, to get out of that relationship and/or to get some education to be able to yourself and your children if you have them. There are many agencies available now to help you. Some type of counseling and support is imperative as you need to begin emotional, physical and mental healing.
National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Week Promotion Video
Domestic Violence Hotline
Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE97233) or TTY 1-800-787-9884.
My purpose in writing this article is to increase awareness of the teen violence problem. If you recognized any of the signs listed above, don't walk, run away from that relationship. You deserve someone who will treat you better. Get help from your family, a school counselor or an adult you can trust. These men don't change. I don't care what they promise. I have worked with many people affected by domestic violence, so be smart and get out fast while you can.
If you grew up in an alcoholic or drug abuse family, seek out self-help groups like Alanon or get some counseling. Learn to love yourself. You are perfect in God's eyes. You deserve a life that is rewarding and you deserve to be happy. Being scared all the time is a terrible way to live.
© 2009 Pamela Oglesby