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Break the Cycle
Mistakes Are Just Learning Experiences
*DISCLAIMER* I want to start off by saying this will not be for the lighthearted. This will not be the type of article you cozy up in bed with and read on your kindle. This is for the desperate, audacious and insane who are really determined to make a change. This will not be fluffy, so if you want cats go to YouTube. That is all.
Think with me for a minute about failure. What emotion does that pull to the surface? Some don't even breech the topic because the anger that comes from thinking about past failures is too much for them to handle. Well, good luck to you good buddy because if that is how you think then you had better get used to that feeling. Yeah it sucks, but failing again and again from the same mistake hurts much worse. If you never think about what didn't work in the past, then you never really digest what you did wrong, thus for you just shove it to the back of the room to forget. You know how forgetting works, eventually the same obstacle will come along and since you choose to block out the pain from the first failure, being the dimwitted person that you are, you will do it like you did before. No one wants to be the idiot that keeps getting bitten by the dog because he never learned the he probably shouldn't mess with a dog while he's eating.
This can come into play with everything in life; work, school or home. Alot of things are constantly happening in life and it's a risk we all take with the chance of failure. So let's say that you want to make money online. (That just so happens to be what is on my mind right now) If you see people, as they say "Crushing it", all over social media, it might make you feel a little envious. How envious? Enough to try it? Or just enough to keep yourself locked in a pathetic, self-loathing "swipe up" marathon until it builds to a hatred? That's heavy. You watch those videos, you see those posts and you wonder why you are not able to live like that. Maybe you think you are not good enough to be like them? Maybe it's something different entirely. But all in all you build up enough courage and self respect to realize that they are no different that you, other than the fact they worked their ass off to get to where they are and you didn't. Not yet. After you learn everything you can about said topic, you start doing what they are doing, it may or may not work. You go full force and start saturating your mind with all their content. You read all you can and research and start making life changes. You start to truly believe that it might work. You are in the blissful clouds and blinded by the dopamine rush. But then oh no, reality hits. What's this? BOOM, the first hurdle. Where are those beautiful clouds to help keep you blind to reality? They are gone. What do you do? For the sake of this article we will say that you give up. So now you are a failure, you get mad and quit. You decide to make a 180 degree turn and declare all self sufficient millionaires must be scamming people. But then, a few months later you try again. Long after you had time to forget about what happened last time, you decide to take the same steps in hopes for a different outcome. You have a roller coaster of opinions about it and think that maybe you are not wrong... yet you are insane, so you do everything exactly the same. Of course you fail because you are an idiot and you made all the same mistakes. Why would you even be upset at that point?
This is where ego comes into play, if you never admit you are wrong then you will continue making misguided choices refusing to admit that they are inaccurate. Mistakes happen and will keep happening. Learning to deal with them is where the insanity ends.
It actually took me a long time to change my mindset about certain things, I felt deranged for years. In the moment I didn't know why nothing I did ever worked. I just figured that persistence must be good, right? So I kept at it, for months. But I kept failing and failing until one day it just clicked. One day it will for you too, it will for everyone. But, to get there you HAVE TO MAKE A CHANGE.
I will not be making a list of things for you to do differently. The internet is already full of those kinds of morons who think that they know what YOU need to succeed. I could tell you all the basic things like eat healthy and exercise but frankly, you already know that and don't really want to hear it again. I could say that spending $500 dollars on clothes that you will wear once and then left to occupy space in your closet is probably not a wise investment. But who am I kidding, you would die without the same wardrobe as Kylie Jenner. So you will get in your feelings, do what you do best and make those bad decisions for a temporary moment of relief. Blind to the fact that eventually the good feelings fade. I could even come up with the next trend making you believe full well that all the others are schemes but I am god and have all the answers. Please. This is common knowledge, everyone who wants to teach others how to live will press you into doing these things but never really tell you how to change what really needs to be changed. Your mindset.
So, do whatever makes you happy. Working out is great and everyone needs to eat healthy. Saving money doesn't seem like much in the moment, but when you decide not to buy that $7 cup of Starbucks coffee for the 5th time this week. That's $35 saved that week. But doing all that with the same crappy attitude you had before will only last so long. So let's change that horrible attitude of yours shall me.
First, if you want to break the cycle of constant failures, you have to change your mindset about failure. Think back to the last time you failed at something, you felt a certain type of way, right? Of course you did, we are human and we have automatic thoughts. The moment that a failure stop hurting so much is when you alter it to a learning experience.
Next time you fail, don't just fall into the same automatic patterns that you think feel good in the moment. As you are realizing that a mistake is happening think to yourself, "Ok, next time I will do it this way." Ruminate on the feelings you get when you aren't the first one across the finish line. Remember the last time you drank that bad milk, but instead of throwing it out you put it right back into the fridge to sip from a couple more times. Until you realize well this is nasty and I don't really like sour milk so maybe I should through it out.
It is the simple things, they don't have to be big changes. Come on, we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. But do you enjoy making mistakes? I believe full well that some people actually must love it, or maybe they are just very stupid. But that only gets worse with time and the more failed attempts the smaller the self esteem will get. Until one day you won't even have the courage to get out of bed because just have it ingrained in your head that you are a waste of space on earth.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. Stop being a foolish laughing stock! Don't be a waste of space. You are what you tell yourself you are, and if you tell yourself you will fail, then Einstein you are going to fail.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Virginia