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Don't lose your identity

Updated on December 28, 2017
Grant's World profile image

A fellow human who loves his planet and beyond, with interests that match and never end. One life. One love. Appreciate everything.

Don't Lose Who You Are

Why I Am An Expert On Not Losing My Identity

I am not talking about identity theft here. I mean don’t lose who you are. What makes you YOU!. What makes you tick, what makes you happy. What are the things you like to do just for you? What’s important to you in your life?

How I am losing my Identity

I have a bad habit of getting into big projects and end up for the most part losing or starting to lose my identity while the project is under way. Actually this is happening right now and that’s what sparked my need to get this out there in the hopes to save someone else. I don’t think I am a workaholic or have obsessive compulsive disorder but hey you never know.

Currently I have a large project under way at home that takes up most of my evenings and weekends. My week days are spent at my office. The only time I take off is when I am so drained I can’t function for the night so I vegetate on the couch and guess what? The whole time sitting there I think about the work I could be getting done. I have been skipping my lunch hour workouts which really bothers me but I do it so I can get home to start working a bit earlier each night.

It is making me grumpy and impatient with people in my life. Because I am using so much time in my day to work at my regular job and then work at home I am also not eating as healthy as I would prefer and I am having a few extra beers here and there.

Now some of you are saying well what’s wrong with that right? Well it isn’t me or who I want to be. I enjoy eating healthier, exercising on a regular basis, getting enough sleep, basically being organized and focused. Not just focused on this job at home.

Ok so smarten up you say! Yes starting today I am taking my own advice. I went to the gym today. Yes I will go home and start working right after supper but I wont work right until bed time.

Don't Be This Lost Soul

Here is a Common Way People Lose Their Identity

Okay and now your saying well I don’t work 14 hours a day so I am not worried about losing my identity right?

Well some people lose their identities in other ways and the most common way I can think of is relationship forced identity loss.

Sound familiar? Maybe it is happening to you right now and you don’t even realize it. Do you get to do the things you enjoy most? Now I am not talking about doing things that cost a big chunk of change and your not doing them because of monetary restrictions.

I am talking about simple things that you enjoy that might only take a small amount of time or if it does take money probably not enough to break the bank.

Maybe your not doing it because your spouse doesn’t want to or maybe some how you feel guilt now if you do those things. Why do you feel guilt?

Should you be feeling guilty?

Take a step back and decide for yourself. Unless it is a totally selfish act that affects someone else in a negative way then I highly doubt you should be feeling guilty.

Don’t let your relationship define you. You define who you are in the relationship.

You Can Have Your Identity Back

Do you have something you think about that you used to do that you would love to be doing again? I have one thing I can think of.

I am always saying to myself that I need to start reading novels again. I always seem to push that one to the side for something else.

Maybe you have a hobby that you haven’t even started yet that you really want to give a try. You should do it. Because that is part of who you are even if it’s something you haven’t done yet.

Life is about balance I believe. First and foremost you have to take care of you. No one loves you more than you love yourself.

Okay that sounded bad but you understand what I am getting at. Right? Make yourself happy first and then everything else will fall into place. Trust me.

If this is not who you are then who are you and why aren't you being you?
If this is not who you are then who are you and why aren't you being you?

Now On The Other Side of The Identity Scale

Some peoples lives are all about their identity. Identity overload.

You know these people. Maybe someone who is into fitness and everything in their life is somehow tied to fitness. Maybe they are astronomy buffs and every spare moment is looking at the stars.

These people are very happy and for the most part are living their life the way they want to and honestly it’s their life so good for them. Some have such a strong passion for these things that they some how find a way of making an income from it.

Maybe the fitness person is a professional bodybuilder or trainer or maybe just has a fitness clothing line. Maybe the astronomy buff now works at NASA.

What ever it is make time for yourself to do it. I guarantee you will be much happier and so will the people around you.

Think it and make it happen.

Good luck.

© 2010 Grant Handford


Submit a Comment
  • Grant's World profile imageAUTHOR

    Grant Handford 

    10 years ago from Canada

    Lola sorry to hear that. I hope you have things on track now.


  • Grant's World profile imageAUTHOR

    Grant Handford 

    10 years ago from Canada

    Thank you Deborah.

    I am glad your situation is better now.

    Thanks for reading my hub and commenting I appreciate it.


  • Deborah Demander profile image

    Deborah Reno 

    10 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

    Excellent hub. I lost my identity for twenty years, trying to be the perfect wife to an abusive man. Glad to say that I have finally found myself.


  • Grant's World profile imageAUTHOR

    Grant Handford 

    11 years ago from Canada

    Thanks prasetio.

  • prasetio30 profile image


    11 years ago from malang-indonesia

    I also keep my identity well. I don't want change my identity, although it offered by a lot of money. This is kind of dilemma when our lost identity just for money. And many cases proven it. I have to be grateful with all I have right now.

    You put your beautiful word. Thanks for share with us.


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