Oppression: A side of Emotional Abuse

 I saw into the mind of my Oppressor today.

They really do not think they have done no wrong. They really think they are the personal savior in my life. It really baffles me angers me, and humbles me that my Oppressor is just about as messed up in the head as I am. This is going to go on till someone yells stop. I want to yell stop but if I do I may shatter my oppressor. They are in disillusion and do not see what they do is harmful. I don’t really care if they ever understand. I think they do though due to something that my oppressor said. So that gives me a hint of they know what they do, but they think it’s to be helpful maybe to me not harmful, for they are just words. We know though words are a powerful weapon and can destroy many lives. How many stories do you hear of people wrongly convicted based on a word. Another example is H.G. Wells War of the Worlds radio broadcast that had millions of Americans thinking we were invaded by aliens. All based on a word. Do not tell me they are just words to grow a thick skin. You can say you have a tough skin but deep down those words that were cruel and harsh slipped inside you and make you the you, you are today. The tough, perhaps bitter, wild, reckless soul that you claim no one can tear you asunder any more by using vulgar language to express it. I can see through it and know that it hurt you to the core and still does. How do I know? I’m just like you.

So is my Oppressor a wise villainous thing or a really misguided soul that needs help as well? Probably both! I get thrown back in my face all the nice things that have been done for me and son. I want to reply back and so?? To be nice is to be nice you are not supposed to keep track of all the nice things you have done and expect retribution for them. If I want to be nice I will because I care not because I’m going to hunt that person down later and say hey remember when I did this for you and now I want you to do this for me. They owe me nothing and I do not want anything.

I was wondering where I went wrong in my life that this had to be my own doing, but it was done by my oppressor to oppress me and use me. To make me think they are my savior and need them. It started with such a simple thing I was nice and let them use my car. They told me of course this is my car no worries they are not over taking it. If I need my car of course I can have it. So came the time I get told cant you go another day I have to work that day and want to use the car. My mind was shattered and I wanted to scream. First off what happens to this is my car and they are not over taking it. If I need it of course I can have it being its MY CAR. I might have tried to protest but I knew my oppressor well and I just gave in. To stand up is pointless because that is just not me and my Oppressor knew it. She knew I would crumble and once again I started to become controlled. I am not allowed to come and go as I please I first have to ask mother may I use my own car, and hope it’s a good day. My life is thus not my own anymore. Yet they are my savior and offered food to my son when we hardly had any food in our home. So it’s only payback that they have overtaken my car. They claim I don’t treat them as they should be. Oh really now? They claim to raise me up only to pull me down. Would I leave them? They could have left me but the reason they stayed was due to me an others. Is it that they would not find anyone else to use and abuse like me? I for a moment felt sad and I think pity for they seemed more lost that I. If this is love then I do not want it.