How To Manage Anger

Alright, I don’t know about you, but lately I have had an ear full of news reports about people “going crazy” with anger. Is our world becoming full of hateful, short-tempered, maniacs? It appears so.

For instance, if you have followed the news within the last few days, you will find a story of a lady going crazy because she was not able to buy chicken nuggets at 2:oo in the morning due to only breakfast being served at that time. Really? Was it worth the jail time, the estimated attorney fees and never ending humiliation you will feel from here on out? I am more than sure that McDonalds will profit from this charade, but surely she will not.

As for "Mr. Tantrum" on the airline? (I know you have seen this) I can not imagine what could possess a man of 28 years of solid employment to cuss and swear over the overhead, open the emergency door and take the inflatable safety slide out of the aircraft, grabbing a couple cold ones on the way out of course, simply because he was hit in the head by a passengers carry on luggage.

As Americans we are under enormous stress. Job security and the economy are failing. We have a less than competent government that is becoming more corrupt with each passing day. We are under pressure to perform and our survival skills are at an all time high.

Stress causes arguments with our significant others and our children. Stress can lead to depression and sadness. Stress is something we are confronted with each day that sometimes we have no solution to handle it. It remains inside. Controlling us until we have no other emotion except for anger which makes us mad, causing madness and then we are “crazy with anger.” Slashing out at anyone or anything around us!

So is that it? Is that the logic to it?

Anger, of course, is an emotion. It is a healthy, normal emotion when you know how to express it appropriately. It is fueled by unfortunate circumstances that may cause fear, hurt, humiliation or pain (just to name a few). How we deal with our pain or first emotions is what is important.

Have you ever had a horrible day at work and came home only to fight with your spouse? Why? Were you truly angry at them? Probably not. Sure it felt like you were at the time, but it all stemmed from the day at work. And that is where your first emotions stemmed. By not dealing with those first emotions, you held them in, letting them fester until your spouse did something trivial and you "went off."

 "Anger is never without reason, but seldom of a good one." Benjamin Franklin

Our secondary emotion is anger. It's the process of moving from whatever the first emotion is to the feeling of anger. Mostly because it’s too hard to stay with the original feelings. So the trick is to work through the first emotion so that the second does not feel as bad or at all.

So how do you do that?

Do Not hold in your anger. This causes it to be worse not only for you and your health but also on the target of your anger. Express your angry feelings in an assertive- not aggressive manner. Learn what makes you angry, what feelings "trigger" that response and how to control it. Learn to and focus on the first emotion. By learning to work through those emotions and hit them straight on, the feelings of anger are less common.

Clearly if you are having problems that stem from your anger; such as:

• Problems at work
• Fighting at home
• Problems with the Law
• Abusive behavior towards yourself or others
• Loss of friends
• Depression

Please speak to your physician or contact an Anger Mangement Group or therapist. Anger is a normal feeling, but when it interrupts your life it has clearly become more.

Please take care of yourself and live the life you deserve!