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Emotional support for those that are left behind and dealing with suicide.

Updated on August 15, 2014

To go on is what you all must do.

I try to forget about someone who had taken their life that I have known and I was one of the last persons this person had seen.

I feel like maybe I should have done something, but I had no idea what so ever this person would take their life.

Before pointing fingers, you have to step into someone's shoes.

With all that have been said in the news over and over about the passing of Robin Williams, I am trying very hard to remember

Robin Williams as the actor and entertainer instead of all the "gossip" but it's everywhere and all over my news feeds on social media.

I wish I could totally block all these images and what people say about blaming Robin.

You don't know his circumstances and believe me everything is out in the open.

I believe he was pushed to the "edge" and there was no turning back for him.

If is very hard for me to here of people taking their lives.

Quite a few decades ago, I was seeing someone for a very tiny amount of time.

I actually liked him, but I didn't know how bad he would drink.

He seriously was not a bad guy at all.

Actually he could hold quite a good conversation.

When he started showing up at my house at nite with to much too drink, he wasn't angry at all,

but dealing with him and pleading for him to please stop drinking so much.

I think he just didn't want to stop, and he had many beautiful wonderful people in his life.

I think he really, really tried to get things together.

The last nite he showed up at my house, and he had alot to drink, I couldn't just have him

do that, so I told him, I couldn't handle that and asked him to leave.

I know there was sadness but I am not sure,

did I help push him over the edge?

Well a little time went on, I went to a bar with a girlfriend and entered the bar.

I saw him and he said "Sit down and have a drink".

So I sat with him and just talked.

He was smiling and it seemed like he was ok.

But the very last thing he said to me,

"You were the coolest girl I ever met and out of all the girls I known you "were" the best".

I had no idea at the time, but looking back he said "were" and I really didn't think about.

But, as I was leaving the bar and turned to look back at him, something didn't seem right.

I felt this weirdness come over me as I looked at him at the bar and he just smiled at me.

Well, a little while after that I found out he committed suicide and I won't go into details.

I was one of the last one people he was around and he held a conversation with.

I had no idea whatsoever was going on in his mind and I have felt so guilty since I had

he had taken his life.

It isn't like we were hanging together at all,

it was just the fact I was the last one, where he held a conversation with him and

I think, if maybe I had stayed longer or tried to keep in touch with him, would he have not

taken his life.

I haven't told many people like this, but it seems overwhelming with seeing so much

about a celebrity taking their own life,

that no one talks about the good things the person had done.

I think that the guy I know who had taken his life was not a bad guy at all and I could

tell that his family loved him alot.

It wasn't anyone's fault and sometimes it is hard.

So people are left behind and will never know why.

Sometimes I think people get to the "edge" and some people just get pushed over it.

Everyone says there is no excuse and believe I know, because in the past I wanted to end

my own life, but myself with good people who said kind words and helped me.

I see that life have these wonderful truly beautiful days filled with wonder.

I still carry the guilt and try not to let it overcome me of knowing I was one of the last person the guy who I saw a brief period time who had taken his life.

Guys may wonder why I ask if they are ok, when they drink way too much alot and I mean

I really have bothered them about this in the past.

I realize I can't stop someone from drinking or doing anything in their lives.

It has been a long time since the incident, but since then people try to move on and try to let

things heal.

Don't look back upon someone like that are so bad,

because when they were here on this earth, did you not love them and care about them?

So why stop caring about them so much?

Yes of course it maybe hard to understand, because you all might think and say, "Oh I will never take my life".

You honestly will never understand someone that does.

So I hope people remember that because your left behind with hurt, keep remember the "better" things about someone.

Try remember their smile and being goofy and doing goofy things.

Remember the love that they gave back to you.

Picture them giving you a hug and talking with you.

Try not to focus too much on what the bad things and remember to keep pushing the thoughts in your head why you cared or loved that person in the first place.

Believe me, we never can make decisions with what people do with their lives.

We can try to help in our own way, but try to remember that sometimes it can get hard to go through things.

All we can do each day is get up and make it through the day.

There will be bad days and there will be good days.

Maybe remember the good days will outweigh the bad days.

I can not speak for anyone.

I am not a doctor or someone that is certified in things along those lines.

I just know from personal experiences in my life.

We all can just pray and for those that don't pray, maybe it is something to hold onto your heart and just hope for some sunshine to break through your darkness.

I think that is all we can just basically can do.


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