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Encouragement After Loss - Ideas on How to Feel Better

Updated on January 21, 2012

What Can One Focus On During or After a Loss?

No one can quite adequately warn or tell of the feelings that come with great loss in our lives. We hear about it, and see it every day if we look around. When it hits home however, it can hit so hard. We feel at loss for words sometimes.

People may or may be there or want to help when the pain is so strong. They want to be helpful, but often the turmoil and pain inside gets so hard, you sometimes just get annoyed or can't seem to hear them.

Often healing comes from within, as we each are ready. I was told once, that there is no way through the grief of a loss of any kind, except to just go on through that grief. It is not fun, but it is the best way. You feel them on some level anyway, but they won't kill you if you allow yourself to go ahead and feel them.

Here are some steps I came across and want to share with you, that can help you to feel better in the long run. Life will go on, and things will be alright. These are just suggestions, but ones that have helped people and they may help you too, or a friend or loved one.

Steps to deal with the things that hurt:

1. Make sure to be kind to yourself during this time.

2. Try to remain positive, as much as you can. This can be tough, so maybe it will be only a very little bit. Try to look at any positive things you can find to think about, and focus on those things over the other things.

3. Try to think of constructive ways to relieve your anger, if you are experiencing any anger. Never take it out on others, but do try to relieve it in healthy ways.

4. Think of ways to take care of yourself physically. Your body is one of your biggest gifts in life. Treasure it and care for it, even during hard times.

5. Sometimes it helps to write things down, whatever it is that you need to get out. Writing your thoughts, as you are in essence "recovering" from whatever has happened, can be a very healthy thing to do. You need not show anyone, you can throw it away before long if you like. Get it out on paper. It has helped many people and it need not be perfect spelling or handwriting! It is painful, and writing your journey as you are feeling better over time is great.

** If these first 5 tips don't quite feel like they are helping you over time, consider a sixth option.

6. If you think you need some help in any way, please seek it out whether through your doctor or a counselor. These people are understanding and want to help. If you find one that isn't, find a new one. There are some really neat people out there that have a passion for helping others, and it is their life work. There is help to be had. You are worth it.

**There is no magic list of things one can do to feel better, but these things can help over time. Ideally, its great to make them into a habit. Knowing these things are good for ourselves, but can help others to, who may be experiencing a hard time.


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    • oceansnsunsets profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from The Midwest, USA

      Pauline, I really appreciate your ideas that you share here about constructive anger, forgiveness and other tips like reading books. The series you mentioned is great, sometimes we need ideas on particulars, and I will look into that as hard times with grief or not so great situations come up, and its a good thing to let our minds take a break from what is bothering us.

      Forgiveness is a tricky thing, and depending on how it is defined exactly, getting it done can be very spiritual and healing, I agree. Its like it comes from somewhere outside of ourselves, or something that is very powerful all its own. How that plays out in relationships can vary, but I loved what you wrote in your comment.

      Thank you for stopping by and leaving such great feedback and wonderful thoughts that will help others. It is already helping me as well.

    • Pauline Davenport profile image

      Pauline Davenport 

      6 years ago from Isle of Man

      this is good and has come at a really opportune time for me andall the right things are there.

      Constructive anger? Make some bread and bash the hell out of the dough - you get the best loaves ever because of this, I promise.

      I also found that reading light novels really helped - I read the whole set of Georgette Heyer's Regency books really helped

      The real 'biggie' though has to be able to forgive - for me it was really spiritual - nothig to do with me at all, but oh my it's a very very powerful thing

      thanks so much for this oceansnsunsets - it's a brilliant hub


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