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Ever Been Rejected

Updated on October 10, 2019
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Lindiwe is passionate about issues that affect women, the youth and is very interested in their upskill and development and helping them

Overcoming rejection and resentment

You are not responsible for other people's decisions

No one wanted to be associated with Him. His disciples had run away even Peter when Jesus was caught and he was asked if he was not one of Jesus's followers sore that he did not know Jesus. He experienced the sense of being unwelcome and unwanted to a point that He was beaten, humiliated and eventually hung on the cross. Taking it a step back even during His ministry Jesus was hated by the Jews the people who know God the religious people, he was misunderstood by the church that was supposed to support him. Ever felt like that? How do you deal with it when it happens among your brethren’s? Jesus was the most rejected man on earth but that never affected his decision making. It never affected his thoughts. It never affected how he treated people. He was called so many names by the people yet His love for the same people did not change.
Rejection is not an easy subject that we always talk about at our churches, yet most of us the church folks are or have experienced it in so many forms. Some of us are active church members who are in pain and going on our business as usual yet we are bleeding inside.
Some of us know the feeling of rejection through our parents who walked away from our lives when we were very young and we had no say in those decisions. We grew up with that pain of feeling unwanted and most of the decisions we made were the decisions made by people who were feeling inadequate.

Some of us were married and one day the partner decided to walk away from that marriage without giving us an opportunity to even discuss what was wrong with the relationship and if those issues can be resolved. One can't help but feel rejected and unwanted and carries this with pain on a daily basis. Some are left like this with kids and they have to explain to the kids why suddenly the mother or the father is not part of their lives anymore. They have to manage the situation and try to fill the void in the kids' life because one person has made a decision to walk out, while they are dealing with that pain.
Some look for the same parents who have deserted them while they were small to try to find the why and hope to reconcile with the same people hoping to build relationships, and again they get rejected. The feelings of being inadequate can't help but keep rising and one ends up being very depressed due to the amount of pain he/she is dealing with


These people spend their entire lives struggling with what has happened. They are carrying the burden of resenting the people who have hurt them. They are busy wishing that somehow the spouse who left them pay for what they did to them. Others spent a lot of money fighting in court so that the partner feels the pain they have caused them. In that fight, the children end up being caught in the middle as the person is angry and resent the other partner for leaving them. You cannot live your life like that. Let go of all that anger from rejection. It is not going to do you any good. Work at building yourself up. Psalms 27:10. God promises to heal and restore. You are not your background. You are not your pain. Allow God to heal you by casting all those heavy burdens on Him because He cares for you. Acknowledging your pain of rejection is growth, and releasing yourself from other people's actions towards you is wisdom. You are not responsible for how people treated you, but now you are in the position to treat yourself with respect and refuse to be disrespected again. There is no point to keep begging people to stay in your life when they do not want to. In fact, if people want to walk out of your life please open the door and wish them well. Work on getting complete healing from rejection and I promise you life still goes on.
Jesus's rejection did not stop Him from accomplishing God's given purpose for his life. How is rejection affecting you? How is your rejection affecting people very close to you? This could be your children, friends, spouse, colleagues, church members? Know one thing if you hold on to the pain it kills your life. It kills your vision, it kills your productivity at work, it kills your productivity at home and your kids or spouse are not going to be able to get the best out from you. The pain of rejection changes us and how we treat other people and hinders us from accomplishing God's purpose for our lives. If we do not deal with rejection it causes us to be bitter people and it is growing cancer in our body that kills all the cells that we need for growth.

Do you remember what Jesus did on the cross? He looked at the people who hung him there and forgave them. Did they ask for forgiveness? Of course not. He did not want them to be in control. He did not forgive them for themselves, He forgave them because that was who He is. Do not let the pain of rejection to diminish who you are. He took the power back on himself by forgiving them. We do not forgive because we are weak, we forgive because we are wise and do not wish to stay in the prison of anger, bitterness, rejection, etc. Whenever I forgive a person it is never about them it is always about me as I refuse to be controlled by people's issues.
Take your power and authority back. It is not your problem that people do not want you in their circle, it is their issue. Let them go and wish them well and keep working on yourself as you have so much to offer. You are not responsible for other people's decisions. The sooner you let that sink in the better. If there are things to work on start working on those issues that you are battling with and be realistic. Keep marching forward and be the best that you can be by developing yourself continue to be a person of value

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    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      5 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I like this. I think about rejection a lot. I still don't get it. Of course I have done the rejecting and been rejected. Strange issue -- good job.

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