ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Breakthrough to Uncovering My Child's Emotions

Updated on March 17, 2020
MitaraN profile image

Finding my inspiration through the voice of music and poetry. Being creative and finding ways in making life easier and smarter for others.

Being a parent does not come with a “How to” guide, we all learn as we go along.

Providing kids with qualitative attention is key to instilling the confidence and motivation every child needs while growing up. I recently picked up that my daughter was going through emotions such as mood swings, sudden quietness, eye's filling with tears at any given moment, and loss of appetite that were concerning based on her happy go lucky character. I needed to find out what was causing such behaviour.

“Since the earliest period of our life was preverbal, everything depended on emotional interaction. Without someone to reflect our emotions, we had no way of knowing who we were.”

— John Bradshaw

In adulthood, certain situations bring a heightened sense of emotion and we often don't know to deal with it at the time. This got me thinking, if adults find it a battle, how do we expect a child to overcome obstacles.

How do you bring a sense of calm to a young mind?

I needed to find a way to assist, not as an interim solution but long-term.

I spent hours of research, and came across interesting information, which I chose to explore.

These are the following advice tips I put into practice:

  1. Do I allocate one-on-one time with my child, daily?
  2. Do they receive my undivided attention during that time?
  3. Do I allow them to solve a problem and brainstorm on their own?
  4. Have I shown my child coping skills to remain calm so they may think clearly?
  5. Have I embraced mistakes, showing them that accountability and ownership allows them to learn from it?
  6. Have I shown them that with any bad experience, it should not deter them from thinking positively?
  7. Do I allow them to talk about their feelings and emotions?
  8. Does my child and I partake in any sport or exercise activities together?

After applying myself to these questions, I had a good sense of my next steps.

It became evident, that I seldom have one-on-one time with my kids individually, we usually spend time together as a family unit.

I resorted to making the effort and set a mother and daughter day, where my child was given my undivided attention.

It was not long during our quality time together, my daughter began sharing her many wonderful stories with me. It was clear that she had found a new foundation of trust in me, allowing her the freedom to unconsciously share her situation with her best friend, that caused her to act out.

As best friends they complimented each other, so it was assumed the bond between them could never be disrupted. The friendship duo had now become a trio.

My daughter felt broken down as the new addition to the circle of friends consistently excluded her. With tears in her beautiful eyes, she asked me, "Mum, what is wrong with me?", she continued, "I feel like I am losing my best friend".

My heart was shattered, she was experiencing something of this nature for the first time in her life and she thought she had to do it on her own.

She needed the assurance that there is nothing wrong with feeling these emotions. I shared with her that when faced with a dilemma, her strong spirited beautiful personality is still being projected to others and these traits on its own attract aider circle of friends. She needed the confidence to build the courage in dealing with her situation.

“We nourish the bodies of our children, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem? We provide them with the best food to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars.”

— Dale Carnegie

She heeded the advice and actioned the next day. By the end of the school day, she was so eager to share the success of her approach. I was so proud of her and filled with glee.

She is now surrounded by many friends and her best friend started rethinking her actions.

My little angel included and encouraged her to be inclusive of their respective new social circles.

On that note, if you are currently guided by the questions I continue to ask myself, as it has effectively worked for me, shows you are empowering your child in taking healthy risks, problem solving, building confidence, strengthening their body and mind.

They need to know that they can handle any situation life throws at them, still have the comfort of their support structure (that's us) being by their side.

By giving your child the lead, you entrust independence long term. This instils mental stamina and gives you peace of mind.

“The job of parents is to model. Modelling includes, how to acknowledge and express emotions; how to have emotional and intellectual boundaries; how to communicate; how to cope and survive life’s unending problems; how to be self-disciplined; and how to love oneself and another.”

— John Bradshaw

A parents love is selfless, best of luck and enjoy every precious moment with your children.

© 2020 Mitara N

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)