"Why does everyone hate me" - The thought that plagues the best of us at school, college or work
"Everyone hates me" is a thought that the best of us have at some point in our lives. Whether it is at school, work, college or university, we all have moments when self confidence is at an all time low and it may feel as if the entire world hates you.
Let's address this by pinning down some of the most common reasons why we think that everyone hates us in different environments namely school or classrooms, work or office and life in general.
At school or college
1) Everyone hates me because I am different
If you think that you are different or unique from the rest of the lot in school, pat yourself on the back. Having unique abilities or talents that make you stand apart from the general crowd at school is a quality that you must preserve and work upon to achieve success in whatever you want to do. If everyone hates you for being successful, well, too bad. It's not your fault that you are blessed with being talented, is it?
2) Everyone hates me because I don't hang out with the cool crowd
Really? Did someone officially declare the cool crowd as 'cool' or are they simply a bunch of bullies who think they're cool because they dominate the rest of the class and keep talking behind your back? More likely than not, it is the latter. The crowd that you think is cool, in fact is not so cool. You are the cool one because you can function individually and can get things done. This is a great asset to have after school when you start working. Consider yourself to be foresighted and equipped with the ability to do things on your own.
3) Everyone hates me because I get good grades/performance
No, everyone does not hate you for always getting good grades. Everyone is just jealous that you are doing well getting good grades, which obviously, they can't. The As and A+s on your report card at school are going to be a big deal when it comes to securing that spot in a top college which will later mean a big fat paycheck when you start working. Your good grades are simply lining you up for a good education, a good job, a good salary and a good life. Now that is what we call cool, don't you think? Are we still wondering why others feel jealous of your grades?
4) Everyone hates me because I am the teacher's pet
Have you been tagged as the teacher's pet simply because you answer or ask too many questions in class? It is a different matter if the class has to stay back even after the bell goes off just because you have a question, but if that is not the case, don't stop asking or answering. Your inquisitiveness and curiosity is only lining you up for a way of thought that always goes "Why?" when something happens. In the real world, only the best of managers are blessed with this ability. You should also know that companies pay such personalities massive pay checks just because they have the ability to look at a situation and go "Why did this happen? Is this right?" Go ask them if they are glad they didn't stop asking questions to the teacher when they were in school!
5) Everyone hates me because I am nerdy
It pains to even discuss the thought of associating a love for books and education in general to a nasty word like nerdy. If you ever hear this word again, walk beyond the negative aspect of it because it is only used by people who are mentally incapacitated to wrap their heads around the joys of reading, writing and the other pleasures associated with learning. Take a look around you, some of the richest people in the world including Bill Gates are well educated and learned people.
1) Everyone hates me because I got promoted earlier
Did you? Well that's great because you've obviously been promoted for a reason. Whether it is because of your outstanding performance or it is because you could network better than the rest, you being promoted at work shows that you stand out from the crowd. So if everyone hates you for progressing quicker than they did, well too bad. They are only jealous.
2) Everyone hates me because I am always punctual
Go and ask your CEO what would happen if he/she was not punctual and did not get things done in time. "It'd be a disaster" is what they'd probably say. You may not be the CEO or a high flying executive but if people try to pin you down for being punctual and getting things done on time, move on. It is only a matter of time before you will be giving them orders, and their pay checks!
3) Everyone hates me because I am always right
It is not hard to imagine why everyone would hate you if you are always right at work. That's probably because your opinions are now of more value than theirs because you have a tendency of being right. It is only human to have feelings of jealousy and anguish over a competitor, and yes, it is a big bad world out there and many of your work colleagues may see you as competition rather than a team member. In any case, you must stop this thought because being right all the time is going to benefit the company, your team and yourself because this generally means getting promoted sooner.
4) Everyone hates me because I love my job
Don't be surprised if all your work colleagues expect you to hate your job and complain about it all day, just like they do. It is unfortunate that they are unable to find joy in their jobs or work where their true passion lies. If you love your job, be known that you are one of the very few lucky people in the world who are living their dream by doing what they like doing for a living.
5) Everyone hates me because I do what the boss says
If you are doing what your boss asks you to do, pat yourself on the back because you already know the truth to survival in any organization. Keeping the boss happy by meeting targets, completing tasks and giving them fewer reasons to worry about is the sign of an ideal employee. As expected, such employees climb up the organizational hierarchy quicker than the rest. If you are unpopular simply because of this, walk past these thoughts. Because some day, the same people who dislike you will have to choose between being unpopular or doing what you ask them to do when you're promoted as the boss.
Life in general
1) Everyone hates me because I am shy
It is appalling that certain sections of society have a negative approach towards people who have shy or introvert personalities. We are all individuals with individual characteristics and personality traits. The key to ultimate happiness in life is being happy with who you are, not who you can be. If you haven't realized this yet, it better that you accept this thought now rather than sitting on a rocking chair 50 years from now only regretting "Oh why did I try to be someone else when I was such a unique individual?"
2) Everyone hates me because I don't do what they say
It is not your job to please everyone. There are people in this world who will expect others to do what they want them to do. Science has not found out yet why people have such mentalities so it is better that you give up wasting your time and energy thinking about it. If people hate you for not doing what they want you to do or say, well, too bad. They will simply have to find someone else who is willing to be their puppet, won't they?
3) Everyone hates me because I am rich
Really? Do we even need to discuss this? It is only normal for people to not like you if you amass far more wealth than they do. Obviously you've been doing something right and you've been working hard to achieve your goals. It is your right to enjoy the fruits of your hard work.
4) Everyone hates me because of my sexual preferences
We are not going to enter the moral debate of whether having sexual preferences that are not the accepted social norms is right or wrong. That is a separate debate altogether. But if you are happy in your own skin, if your family is happy and so are your loved ones, there is little reason why a stranger's attitude towards you should bother you.
5) Everyone hates me because I smoke (or any other bad habit)
Whether you want to pursue a bad habit or not is your personal and individual decision. But as long as your bad habit does not affect someone else' space or happiness, you shouldn't be bothered whether others like you or not. Your loved ones will like you for who you are. If you must give up a bad habit, give it up for them and not for the ones who don't like you.
I think, everyone hates me
One of the most common things that you will hear people say is that "I think everyone hates me" Note the use of the words "I think" Does everyone really hate you or is your mind simply going spinning in overdrive to make you worry a lot more than you should? More often than not, it is the later. So next time you step out, remember that you are and you want to be one of the very few people on the planet who are happy to be in their own skin. You love being who you are and so do your loved ones. And in the end, that's all that matters. Happy living!