Fighting My Thoughts

What do you do when someone you love is suffering? Yet the thing they are suffering from isn’t a sickness or illness, not even a disease; it’s their own thoughts…

I’ve known people in the past that had a negative outlook on life. They would drown their sorrows in alcohol, pills, or other forms of addictions just to smile and make it through the day. These people usually adapt to the ways of the world and find a comfort in their own sadness. However, what if a person does not have a negative outlook on life yet suffers from thoughts that consume and haunt them?

Do they turn to a shrink? Do they follow in the footsteps of those who feed addiction? Or do they simply just put up with it?

None of the above.

I’ve suffered from haunting thoughts in my past. One in particular was with my ex-boyfriend. I had nightmares and vivid images of him cheating on me and using pornography. The dreams, the visions, pretty much ate me up inside. I stayed with him, however. I thought it would get better and it only got worse. Not to mention the lies upon lies. One day I just had enough. Not a tear was shed ever again because of him and my thoughts were cured. I still will occasionally think about everything that happened with him and get really angry and then I remember, I must forgive him to live again.

Some people, however, suffer from something that they can’t just walk away from and it would be fixed. I knew and know a few people like this; my cousin being one of them. In her mind she thinks she must act a certain way, dress a certain way, and be a certain way for a man to love her. In her thoughts were visions of happily ever after, but when reality would strike, her demons would show. She became addicted to male attention. It started out with dressing a certain way at a young age. She was dressing like a 20 year old at only age 12. Then she began to do things for guys, and this made her a very bad reputation with young women and the young men that knew her.  It led up to her eventually being with over 25 men by age 19. She actually got so consumed in her thoughts of being a certain way she began to strip at age 17. To the best of my knowledge, now at age 21, she still continues to feed that demon of lust. This is one example of someone who just can’t walk away.

Another example is based on rivalry. I too, have experienced this as well. It usually stems from a brother, or sister, a friend, a cousin, or another family member. It also starts at a young age. The one person views the other in a way of wanting to be them or have what they have. In some cases, to achieve what they have accomplished.  I had this problem with my cousin, who I talked about above. I wanted what she had at a very young age. She had cute clothing, a lot of friends, she got male attention, her mother pretty much spoiled her. Any time I would have a crush on a guy at school, she would find out and make the guy like her. If the guy didn’t like me in the first place, she would then rub it in that the guy liked her and not me. I once even thought her to be more attractive than me, and just more of everything I could never be. As I got older I began to realize why she had many friends, why her mother spoiled her, and why she had so much male attention. I then realized that I didn’t want to be anything like her and that I, as myself, was enough to be happy.  I thank God that I didn’t choose the path she chose.

Some people, on the other hand, can’t let go of rivalry. It will consume them, and in a lot of cases ruin their life.  They will always have thoughts of their rival having what they don’t, doing what they can’t, or achieving something they never could. They tend to be bothered by the person in one way or another on a weekly basis. I’ve even known people that will completely cut a person out of their lives yet still will have remembrance of that person through music, objects, movies, or TV. I call those items “thought provokers” and in many cases they are unavoidable.  These particular people have a hard time enjoying life and can’t escape through addictions.  Most will try things that may seem to work but after words only find their situation worse. For these people, the best thing to do is figure out why the thoughts are present.

Things to ask a person like this are…

Did something happen between you and –blank- at a young age?

How do you feel about yourself and about –blank-?

What makes –blank- a better person than you?

What do you want in life?

For some people like this, it’s enough to talk to someone. I don’t for them to talk to a shrink or anything. Just try to talk to someone that has more life experience and someone who you have never spoken to in this way. While many find comfort in talking to family members, I’d advice to talk to someone outside of the family. Another thing for this type of person to do is to try and confront the person they have a problem with. This may be hard, but it does help. They can also find a form of natural healing.

Here are a few forms of healing that may be suitable in treating ones thought patterns…

Hypnosis

Kinesiology (highly recommend)

Reiki

Aromatherapy

I have personally used aromatherapy for anxiety and depression and it helps greatly. I also see a Kinesiology doctor ever 2-3 weeks and she pretty much helps my mind, body and spirit with everything.

If all else fails, although you should always do this first…

Turn to God. Ask God to help you fight the thoughts and emotions you are having endless battles with. Ask Him to guild you onto your path of healing. If you have never spoke with Him or it’s been awhile, he is always there. He will never turn from a child in need of help. Just remember to be aware of His answers and never question them. You may not like it at first, but you will realize His initial plan soon enough! No one is skilled to understand what God has willed, what He has planned.