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Garlic, cholesterol reducer and Vampire repellant (friend and family repellant)

Updated on January 15, 2014
Creatures of the night MAY want your blood.  Unless, it stinks.
Creatures of the night MAY want your blood. Unless, it stinks.

Yes, the blood is sacred

According to the bible the blood is sacred and is representative of the "soul". It also is our bodies primary transport system and can be filled with fats. The blood vessels that guide the blood may be plaqued up or in the process of plaquing up, with a hardening, calcifying "goo" created FROM these fats. This raises blood pressure and lowers the efficiency of blood transport and therefore slows movement of all that blood carries. Namely Oxygen, among other critical factors. This is a bad thing. Fortunately, if you do not mind offending everyone in your near vicinity- Garlic may help by reducing cholesterol and blood pressure. Incidentally, garlic will repel Vampires, which MAY be handy if you have one or two of the un-dead creatures among you.

Also, I happen to know (quite embarassingly) that it can help add realism to a Halloween costume... IF that costume happens to be one of a rotting animated corpse. I'll explain later. Or, you may already know.

Garlic, or Allium sativum, is an herb that has been espoused as a health increaser and medicine for centuries. It is also well as noted for its maloderous side effects.

In Germany, garlic is actually licensed as a medicine utilized in the reduction of atherosclerosis. Atherosclerosis is the actual "hardening of the arteries" you keep hearing about. It's when the fats that are in your blood stick to your arteries and calcify. This reduces the internal diameter of the blood vessels and also reduces their flexibility. In medical studies, when work is done on cadavers with severely hardened arteries, the arteries literally do have a "pop" or "snapping" effect when cut. The tissue is no longer supple, flexible and forgiving as when it is healthy. So you have these stiffening and narrowing tubes in your body in a case of severe athersclerosis.

There have been studies done with groups of people often numbering more than one or two hundred individuals. Usually conducted for at least time periods of 3 months. Sometimes as long as 2 years. Where there appears to be a definite medicinal effect noted and accepted by the scientific community. The favored method of application of the garlic is in powdered form. Why? Because raw cloves of garlic have wildly varying levels of the active chemical, allicin. One clove may have 13 times as much as the next. Yes, it is good and fine to eat raw garlic. But if you do not consume it daily or at least regularly. The next best way to get it into your system is through garlic powder (pill form).

They even make an "oderless" version. (Riiiiiight, nice try. It's NOT "odorless")

Garlic has been shown to decrease total cholesterol levels while increasing levels of good High Density Lipoproteins (HDL). In one group of 220 patients, they were given 800milligrams of garlic daily, over a 4 month period. On average, cholesterol was reduced by 12 percent. Triglycerides were reduced by 17 percent. And horrifyingly smelly flatulence was increased by 70 to 80 percent, on average.

(the flatulence figure is my own, the scientists must have forgotten that part).

In one study, 432 individuals who had suffered a heart attack were given either garlic oil extract or no treatment over a period of 3 years. The results showed a significant reduction of second heart attacks and about a 50% reduction in death rate among those taking garlic.

the PERFECT smell for a corpse

If you over-consume some garlic-pill supplements... not only will you --SMELL-- like a corpse, may WISH you were dead.  Because the social side-effects could be very very detrimental... and if you cannot run from the crowds to HIDE............
If you over-consume some garlic-pill supplements... not only will you --SMELL-- like a corpse, may WISH you were dead. Because the social side-effects could be very very detrimental... and if you cannot run from the crowds to HIDE............

Adding realism to your Halloween Corpse Costume

Now, we all know that garlic stinks, right? I mean, we've all eaten just a LITTLE garlic in the form of garlic knots with pizza or even, maybe some italian dish that was enthusiastically flavored with garlic. And what was the side effect? Right, your one True Love would not even come close to you for a kiss. And forget all about those lingering passionate kisses. At least for tonight, and maybe even tomorrow.

But I found out something -quite accidentally- about the pill forms of garlic. God, they CAN be potent. You know how when you take something as an aid to health you sometimes think that MORE would be better to take? Yes, well I WAS aware of how garlic made your breath smell, but I did not think that the pill form would still do it. And I certainly did NOT expect the side effect of an absolutely Dreadful Flatulance.

D.F. (stands for Dreadful Flatulance) Dee-Ef

[ normal dosages AND if taken with a meal, are safe with no side effects ]

BUT- at higher dosages, and if taken without a meal... you run a ... "Risk".

Let's put it this way. Unless you live alone, and yes, work alone too. Because your co-workers will simply throw you OUT the tenth floor window, if you suffer from D.F. "Garlic Flatulance" ... is Not Like OTHER "flatulance". It is DREADFUL. It is SMELLY. It's BAD. Do not , I repeat, DO NOT double up on the dose. And certainly, absolutely for the Love of GOD... do not triple or quadruple the dose!

UNLESS of course, you have a good reason to stink.

Like if you are masquerading as one of the un-dead on halloween, and you're a college prankster who wants to belch and fart FILTH all over everyone. In which case I DO recommend you take 3 or 4 times the recommended amount at about 9am to 12pm That way you definitely will be feeling the effects of D.F. by 6pm or 9pm. Perfect for the Halloween bash. You may want to take a booster dose around 5pm. ...JUST to make SURE you stink all night.

BE PREPARED for social rejection the next day as well...

Normally, you will NOT want to stink like this. EVER. Unless you want to repel a Vampire by making your own blood and body repulsive to the Vampire, --as well as to everyone else in your life. Because believe you-me... And I know it sounds childish to talk about farts. But Lord-a-Mercy. I have NEVER in my life been assaulted by a fart as I have by... -someone- (who shall remain nameless), who overdid it with the capsules. ...Once. Long ago.

And you can -NOT- run away from ...Yourself.

Never again. Never again will I do THAT. You see, I DID, triple or quadruple the dose. And the "side effects" ... are BAD.

Really really BAAAaaaaaaad. It's a "Bad" side-effect, and it happens IN ABUNDANCE! You do NOT want to do that. To YOURSELF, let alone others. Trust me. This is NOT a supplement that does well inside your gut, as an mild over-dose. I will NEVER Ever, do that again. Ever.

you can bet on it. UNLESS I know I'm being stalked by a Vampire, that is.

No I do NOT use garlic as one of my "regular" supplements, even IF it has side-claims of "antibiotic properties". You can bet your Bee-Hind it has "antibiotic" properties! It'll repel YOUR "biotic" and HIS "biotic" and "HER" biotic and "HERS" and even "HIS" across the darn room!

IF you do take garlic. I suggest, take it sparingly. Experiment with higher dosages, WHEN ALONE FOR THE WEEKEND...

I ??? ...shall stick with garlic knots for now, thanx.

The "stinky" shall not rest in pieces
The "stinky" shall not rest in pieces


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    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 2 years ago from https:// online/ hubpages. html

      That was a fun read but...

      You aren't up on the latest garlic study: Eating Garlic Makes Men Smell More Attractive

      Researchers from the University of Stirling and Charles University in Prague asked 42 men to eat raw garlic, garlic capsules, or no garlic at all. They then invited 82 women to judge the men’s body odor on overall pleasantness, attractiveness, masculinity, and intensity.

      The findings showed the women found the men to be “significantly more attractive” after consuming the pungent staple of Italian food than when they hadn't eaten it, Medical Xpress reports.

      What’s more, the more garlic the men ate, the more attractive they became to the women.

      Why? Lead researcher Craig Roberts suggested garlic may somehow influence women’s perceptions of the men’s overall health, which may make the more attractive to the opposite sex.

      “Our results indicate that garlic consumption may have positive effects on the pleasure derived from perceived body odor perhaps due to its health effects,” he said. “From an evolutionary perspective, formation of preferences for diet-associated body odors was possibly shaped by means of sexual selection. Previous research indicates that many animal species use diet-associated cues to select mates in good physical condition.

      Read more:

      Great hubs StvRich, I'm a fan!