Go Ahead And Cry

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.

-Charles Dickens-

Depending on who you ask, crying can either be a sign of weakness or a symbol of how strong your character really is. In my opinion, it is the latter. (Those who refuse to cry not only harm themselves, but those around them.)However, anything in excess can be bad thing. In other words, an endless stream of tears is just as bad as none falling at all. With such a struggle to reach a happy medium, it raises the question, “Why do people cry at all?” Let’s look at some reasons.

1. Loss

   Someone you love has just died. You are filled with regret and anger. All of these memories of the good times you shared with the deceased (That’s such a nasty term!) keep popping into your head. Why do you have to feel this loss? Why are you the one who is cheated of their parent, friend, etc.? You want to throw and/or hit something. You need to get all of that sadness out of your system. How though?

   Let’s say you have lost your job. You put in hour and after hour and for what? You wasted vacation time (that you could’ve spent with your family) working on a case or file or whatever that only your boss ever got credit for. You want to drive to your boss’s house and ram your car straight through their living room windows. You have the strongest urge to set fire to the company so that everyone will be out of work. Though you may want to, you know you can’t do this stuff. What can you do then?

   Why not have a good, long cry? No, it won’t bring back your aunt or that sweet corner office. Sure, it’ll make your eyes puffy and your nose run. However, it'll be cleansing and won’t end up landing you in jail. With every tear, your burden will become lighter, and your mind will become clearer. Cry for as long as you need to or until your box of tissues runs out (whichever comes first). When you’re done with your cry, I guarantee you things won’t be perfect, but they will be easier. You’ll be able to slowly come to terms with your loss and, perhaps. even see that life will be better now. I’m not saying you should be jumping for joy that your loved one is gone or that paying the bills just got somewhat harder. I just firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and that you don’t get to take the next step until you’re forced to take the first one. Yes, you may have loved your aunt and that job. Still, your aunt’s death may have kept her from years of suffering. And even though your company looks solid now, their luck might change, and they could go under before the year is out. When that happens, you’ll be enjoying the benefits of your new job while your “fortunate” co-workers now must scramble to get the few jobs that are out there. So, cry. It’ll do you good.

2. Cleaning Agent

   There are times when my eyes feel like they have chopsticks in them. When this happens, I force myself to cry. I know that whatever is in there is so stubborn that no amount of eye drops or blowing my nose will coax it out. By crying, I am flooding my eyes with moisture and pushing that darn thing out. On a connected note, when my nose is beyond stuffy, I force myself to cry. I don’t know what it is, but the same nose that refused to be blown a minute ago is now, in an act of sympathy, allowing itself to be blown and I can fully breathe for the first time all day. Obviously, anyone who would dare tease someone for crying has never suffered from a stuffy nose or uncooperative eyes.

3. Gratitude

   You know when you’ve done well in picking out a present if someone cries when they open it. They excitedly thank you. They hug you tightly. They cry. It’s an insanely cool ego booster. Though it’s embarrassing when you’re the one doing the crying, receiving an amazing present is worth the embarrassment.

4. Beauty

   Someone close to me cries when she sees a particularly beautiful sunset. When it first happened, I was left scratching my head. Nowadays, I’ve come to expect it and, when it doesn’t happen, I get really bummed out. For too much of my life, I didn’t understand that things of true beauty deserve to be cried about. Now I do.

5. Hormones

   If our moods were governed by our common sense and not motivated by our hormones, I firmly believe that fewer fights would break out. Sadly, they aren’t. Too often, our hormones at the helm, we say the wrong thing or act in a way that brands us for life as jerks. We don’t mean to, but it just happens. Unfortunately, who would honestly listen to an apology (“Look, I’m sorry I smashed your grandmother’s China cabinet. It’s my darn hormones. They’re always making me do the wrong thing!”) from someone who blamed everything on their hormones? It just doesn’t go over well. And, with crying in mind, our hormones have a way of flaring up when we least expect them too, making us cry uncontrollably. This sudden burst of tears is shocking to all parties. Despite you swearing that there is nothing wrong, with such tears, no one will believe you. Yup, your hormones get you into a lot of trouble.

6. Pain/Frustration

   Most commonly, you see someone crying because they’ve hurt themselves. Everyone tries to put on a brave face, but, no matter what age you are, your hard exterior cracks when you’re injured. This is because you are both frustrated by what has happened and are in a lot of pain. You are in shock from the blow and won’t calm down until you’re taken care of. In an ideal world, your mom would come rushing to you every time you get hurt, tissue in one hand and band-aid in the other. Unfortunately, we often have to settle for a doctor, a significant other or our own care. In any case, don’t be ashamed to cry. You do have a “boo boo” after all.

In short, people cry because they are overwhelmed by emotion. For me, a bag that’s connected to my tear ducts starts to inflate in my chest and I must decide whether to cry and release that air gradually or if I should let that bag explode. People who keep all of their emotions to themselves, allowing them to build and build until it affects their health or causes them to react unwisely, need to be broken of this habit. Too often at a young and highly impressionable age we are told by a maladjusted adult to grow up and to keep our tears to ourselves. Whether they meant to or not, they continued the negative cycle started many generations back by someone having a bad day. It is now time for us to face our emotions and become more enlightened. There is nothing unhealthy about an infrequent crying session.