Seven Ways To Grow Old Gracefully and Still Have Fun
Do It Like Betty!
How To Grow Old Gracefully and Still Have Fun
Have you noticed how the older we get the swifter time passes?
When my siblings and I were children and time moved at its usual pace of deadly slow (didn't birthdays take forever to come around and as for Christmas...?!), we couldn't wait to be 'all grown-up.'
We rushed towards an adult life where no- one would tell us what to do or when to do it.
A life where we could get up anytime we wanted to or even stay in bed all day.
Where we could turn the sofa permanently upside down, cover it with sheets and crawl in and out of our fantasy tent-world without ever getting into trouble.
We planned to make money just from playing our favourite games, unlike grown-ups who still hadn't figured that out.
Because We Want To
It never occurred to us that when we reached our grandparents age we'd be expected to grow old sedately.
We wanted to be driving the family car, turning around every few minutes to tell the adults to sit still and be quiet. We wanted to have all the money in the world, just like parents seemed to, so that we could do a weekly grocery shop of sweets and chocolate with the occasional apple or banana thrown in for nutritional balance.
As teenagers we wanted to date and stay out till dawn if we felt like it, with no threat of being grounded and, as we matured, we expected to have the joys and freedom of youth in responsible adulthood, just because we thought we could.
Now, when there are more years behind us than in front of us, oh how we miss those carefree, casual assumptions as it turns out our golden years are somewhat different than expected.
Now we seem to spend more time with our doctor than our relatives and, unless we've splurged on a Parker easy recliner chair that does all the hard work, every time we stand or sit down it's accompanied by a groan.
We reminisce more than we look ahead and current affairs don't take us by surprise because we've long realised that there is nothing new under the sun.
We've gone from playing all day to being sensible adults to, finally gving in and growing old gracefully.
Some may call it the circle of life and maybe it is, but doesn't the last stage sound just a little, well, boring?
1) Young at Heart
We're never to old to rebel, even just a little, so here's some ways to have a bit of fun whilst you're growing old gracefully or should that be gratefully?
Wear something ridiculously bright and mismatched at least once a week, like a seventies pyschedelic, multi-coloured, multi patterned, big collared blouse or shirt.
Get spotted by the right people and it could come back in fashion.
2) Photobomb, anyone?
Go to a tourist area and 'accidentally' appear in the background of people's holiday snaps.
They'll be too busy posing in front of that staid historical monument to notice you.
Remember to smile brightly!
You Too Can Be Einstein
3) Be A Know It All
Show off your mature (and therefore naturally superior) intellect by injecting little known facts into every topic of conversation.
People don't need to know that you're making them up, instead they'll just be amazed at how much knowledge you've retained over the years.
4) Lie About Your Age...With Conviction
Tell people that you're ten years older than you actually are and bask in the compliments you'll receive for looking so young for your age.
5) Get With The Programme
Throw a party for your grand-children, (parents not invited) and catch up with the latest trends in music, fashion, Ipods, websites, cool slang and the latest YouTube videos
6) Use Your Body as a Canvas
Get an outrageous temporary tattoo but don't tell people it's temporary.
Point out the special Buy One Get One Free offer that the tattoo parlour is currently running and tell them all your friends are doing it.
7) Pardon Me?
When you're out with your family pretend to be deaf in a public place. Ask questions of complete strangers and get them to repeat themselves loudly several times.
Bear in mind that your family will be secretly vowing never to take you out again.
Grow old gracefully? Sure, if we really, really, really have to, but hey come on, let's also have some fun along the way!