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Hand Up Or Hand in Hand

Updated on February 1, 2020
Ericdierker profile image

I like to come at things from a different angle. Usually if we take some words and apply them to ourselves we can then apply to the world.

Raging Beauty

Adventure with a safety net just behind him.
Adventure with a safety net just behind him. | Source

I Have Never Seen a Bad Hand Holding

Walking through the troubles hand in hand is where it is at. Hand in hand is better than any hand alone. Let us walk through this notion, hand in hand.

Finding that sweet spot in the middle of a tempest. What a wonderful concept. There is that notion of loving your enemies as you would your neighbor. Cool. Well this same concept comes through with sickness, loss or extreme adversity. You have to love these conditions as you do when the conditions are great. How easy is it to love your good friend and how hard to love those who in some way persecute you no matter how slight?

This must be the same with problems and bad situations no matter how grave. Just think about it for a second. Enemy/Friend – Adversity/Peace. If you cannot find love in the most horrible situations or conditions what good are you? Everyone can find it when all is right in our world. Even the fool and the intentional sinner can love when things are going well.

So the most irritating and aggravating situations are those that we must embrace the most.

Now do not go overboard here. We do not go out and either make enemies or intentionally cause ourselves to be sick just so we can love something rotten. We must always strive to create an atmosphere where love and thriving and compassion rule the hour.

I still have problems with other people’s pain and suffering and usually death, although there are exceptions here. But I do not suffer anymore. I just do not or maybe cannot? To my way of thinking trials that are heaped upon me are to be embraced in order to strengthen our love in general. How much more worthy is it to overcome and let our light shine to show the way for others. Compared to just preaching about overcoming.

Now many will tell you that faith without works is nothing. And/or works without faith is nothing. Now get a grip here, both concepts are fantastic. Either both at once or standing all by themselves is awesome. I always come back to the notion of God is Love and Love is God. So you see the problem with dogma here? If I have not faith yet I do a good thing out of love that seems like a real big something to me. Or if I really don’t help much but love mightily and have faith – there may be a big good issue there. Look up Mary and Martha out of the New Testament. One of them is working her butt off getting a meal ready the other is just hanging out loving Jesus. They are both loving Jesus. And that seems to be enough on either side of that equation.


Walk and Talk

We Should Walk With Each Other

No hand to hold?
No hand to hold? | Source

Reach Out and Share

Now when another is in suffering and in pain of whatever sort it is first our duty to listen and then listen and then listen. Preaching is never called for unless literally begged for. Advice must at least be asked for after the third listening. Otherwise the advice is an empty gong. Or possibly harmful or hurtful. As is obvious it is not advice at all except perhaps to the person giving it.

So we embark knowing the above and we know we must help or better yet go with a person in stress. Yes I did just say that. We get to go through it with another. The pleasure and gift of walking the valley of the shadow of death with another is not a duty but a privilege given only to those who have faith and love enough to do it. Like grace, not earned but rather granted.

We all have love and as we know God is love no matter what your belief structure. (if you know of one, really, let me know I want to study them and their aberrations.) I have no doubt that God suffers when we suffer. How God deals with that is God’s business, believe me it ain’t my business. But that god of love within me that is my business how I deal with that.

So we circle back a moment and remember we are primarily talking about our walk through our extreme hardship. I often wonder why it is easier for me to compliment another than myself even if just in my mind. And why is it easier for me to help deal with your problems than it is my own problems? Why would I be so afraid to walk through that tough valley by myself but to help guide you removes the fear?

It would seem that God put a bit of need in us. Some people squash that need and others ignore it to their detriment. And that need is for us to love and help one another. Both the giving and the receiving. A need to be needed and a need to help those in need. Probably the person who we say “she is just too needy”, would neither be helped by abandonment nor helping. Probably the cure would be to need that person. I am quite sure it would be. If you feel that too many people need you rethink it. (no we are not talking scenarios like single moms and multiple children.)

We all know we are speaking of the notion in general. I am needy to be needed. I have no qualms about it. And if you are really down low bring me with you.

Take My Hand

Somewhere In France

A Stranger in a strange land.
A Stranger in a strange land. | Source

Sweet Spot of Lending a Hand

I hope that makes a little sense. I love it when my elder children call in to check up and tell me what is going on. But I really love it when they call up to get my advice and input. A great deal of the time I can really help as my life has been such that I normally have been there and done that in the right and the wrong ways. But as I spoke of above even if advice is asked for you still listen thrice. There is a wonderful yet silly, in ways, notion about misery loves company. It is not the misery that loves company it is the down and dirty getting through it that loves company.

We like to say “not a hand out but a hand up”. Insofar as it goes it makes sense. But I say to you that the better is a hand to go with. Of what profit is there in saving a man rather than helping him save himself. If a man is in misery is it better to feed him one day or to show him how to earn food. Of course this applies both to the spiritual as well as actual food.

For the last decade and more I have found no course of events that seem unsurmountable. This may sound masochistic but I say to bring it on “is that all you got?” But here is a confession. Most of my tribulations are self-inflicted and cause harm to others who love me. In my case usually a lack of doing rather than doing something wrong. So there it is. There is the thorn in my side that God requires I maintain to keep me focused on the fact that his love is all I need. So if I truly love I will not do things that cause others distress. And if they are distressed I will be distressed with them and never discount how they feel.

There it is. That sweet spot in the middle of a tempest. Peter was walking on water in the middle of the storm until he doubted that love can do all things. Let us not miss that sweet spot when the weather gets rough for ourselves and /or others.

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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sean you just made me realize that even my hands together for a higher bond. Clapping or praying or what not.

    • Sean Dragon profile image

      Ioannis Arvanitis 

      14 months ago from Greece, Almyros

      "Hand in hand is better than any hand alone." It's now written on my Heart, my brother! Thank you for the Light of your Heart!

      Blessings always!

      Sean

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora just recently my siblings - the responsible ones, forgave me a debt. The forgiveness will lead directly to my children and their children. They also forgave me with actions for my bad actions. And this is love.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Flourish I plan on it. I have some great opportunities today. I will not make a plan except to love.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      14 months ago from The Caribbean

      "It would seem that God put a bit of need in us. . . And that need is for us to love and help one another. Both the giving and the receiving."

      I can remember being in need, and when a friend offered to pay me for something I usually did for free (because he knew I needed the money) my response was, "I'll pay you back." I felt God slap me upside my head with, "I'm providing for you, and you don't want to take it?" I've since learned to receive.

      Thanks for this important, practical message.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      14 months ago from USA

      It’s uplifting and humbling to see a helping hand of love come one’s way but just as important to pay it forward when possible in dividends. This was filled with love, Eric. I hope your day is as well.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Devika it is good to be back. I like how you put it in your comment.

    • profile image

      Devika Primic 

      14 months ago

      Hi Eric I like the title of this hub. Love is not for everyone sounds like love is always put to the test. I see that you are back and writing again great to have you back and keep well my friend.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Bill. You just made me think of the preacher who stands behind a podium and needs a microphone. Nothing wrong with that I suppose. But it may appear that the preacher is not a part of or hand in hand with the congregation.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Ruby I hope this brought you some joy. I was just reflecting on my young son and I. He certainly is a big enough boy to walk across the street or through a parking lot all by himself safely. But for some reason we still hold hands doing it.

      And in a special way you held my hand here.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      14 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Another thought-provoking article, my friend. "If you cannot find love in the most horrible situations or conditions what good are you?" I'm hand in hand with you, Buddy.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      14 months ago from Southern Illinois

      This was a wonderful read this Sunday morning. I couldn't sleep, so I got up early. I always find your words of encouragement inspiring. Thanks Eric. Peace,,,

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Pamela for adding such a positive comment. I always have liked the notion of "walk with Jesus" Not behind not to the side and not in front of. But with.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      14 months ago from Sunny Florida

      Eric, I am so glad you are back and this is one powerful sermon. I love what you wrote about a teaching a man to help himself.

      I have also always liked the illustrition of Peter walking on the water. We do need faith in God and we all need love. We can walk on the water with faith as our problems get solved or maybe the solved problem of a loved one. It is better when we walkI together. We don't have to walk alone.

      Blessings to you and your family, Eric.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda you are so right on the money. (or maybe that is a bad term when speaking around our Lord;-)

      I don't know exactly where it belongs but needing God is one of the best things that ever happened to me.

      And of course you are an angel that helps remind me of that.

      My son said to thank you again for sending him the note.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Raymond. You lift me up. Sorry about the wordiness.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      John - I think they also say to the effect "whatever does not kill me makes me stronger". You always have so much good to add to my pieces. I wonder if the eternal plan for me is to write so I get to learn from great folks like you.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      14 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, it's so good to have you back, and although I didn't enjoy the silence this article was worth waiting for. The journey through the desert didn't really need to be 40 years, but God allowed His people to wander that long so that an entire generation would be raising recognizing that they needed Him. That's the pain that we face on a daily basis--a reminder that we are not alone.

    • raymondphilippe profile image

      Raymond Philippe 

      14 months ago from The Netherlands

      Eric, I had to read this twice to get it all in.

      “So if I truly love I will not do things that cause others distress. And if they are distressed I will be distressed with them and never discount how they feel.”

      Beautiful

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Manatita. You put it a good way. A higher gratefullness, has touched me and those around me. I tried to understand it fully but that will take time and encouragement from great friends and teachers like you.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Harish a buddy called me a hypocrite the other day because I had a moment out of loving. I will take that any day. He noticed the aberration. I just love something I can give my all to and still fall short. I stop growing and I start dying.

      Thank you for your warm words of support and kindness.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      14 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Many of us have a thorn of some sort in our side as a reminder of something we need to focus on. I know you do, Eric. You hit this message out of the ball park. Another piece of scripture says “he will never make us endure more than we can bear.” I used to joke, “damn why am I so strong?” It is all about love and caring about others before yourself. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      14 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I wonder if there is a place where hugs cannot reach Bill, from wherever. Nope, I don't think so.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      14 months ago from london

      I don't know if it's me, Bro, but that sickness must have had milk and honey in it, for you have returned with a bang! What a beautiful Piece! Awesome, Bro.

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 

      14 months ago from New Delhi , India

      You pour love in and love out. To maintain a loving poise in all circumstances is not an easy job. Eric, you beckon us to light, and I love that attitude of you, which reflects in your beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing such soul stirring thoughts.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      14 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I am a hugger. Touch is important to me. Bev and I hold hands all the time while walking....introduce me to someone and I hug them. Human touch is a powerful weapon of peace, don't you think? Of course you do! I can even extend a hug from Olympia to your CA town, and you will feel it, and how cool is that?

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