My Recurring Dream and What it Might Mean

I say suffering because it's not the most pleasant experience. There is a dream I have regularly. It doesn't seem at all bad in the light of day and I don't suppose it is really. When I'm having it however, I get really very stressed and I wake up feeling anxious. I have spent some time, although not much, pondering the meaning of the dream. I don't think all dreams have meaning, but recurring one's do.

I dream that I am in my house, only it isn't my house. It is, but not as it really is. The dream house is way bigger and it has lots of rooms that we never go into. Some are on the top floor (in my dream, my house has three floors) because they are dark and a bit sinister. The middle floor has a large kitchen and in my dream we have had it re-fitted. There is a sitting area next to it and it's perfectly nice, but we don't go there either. The downstairs has just one room that we use and the rest of the first floor is shabby and old looking. Whilst this dream doesn't sound distressing, it is to me. Not now, sitting here writing about it, but as soon as I wake from it.

In my dream I also long to be back at my old house, the one we were living in before the one we're in now. I must say that my real house is really rather nice and I wouldn't want to move back to the previous house in reality. In my dream however, I am desperate to go back but we can't get any estate agent to turn up to value the horrible version of my real house.

The dream is so specific and the same in every way, every time. This to me, says something deep inside of me is out of whack. But what is it?

Let's analyse what's going on here. There is only one room in the house that I feel safe in. Some are not too bad and a whole floor is scary as hell. Hmmm, this could be tricky.

I am doing a lot of things right now. Don't get me wrong, I love what's happening in my life at the moment and I have chosen to be this ridiculously busy. I am an author, a content writer and a digital media specialist. I love all aspects of my working life. In fact I couldn't be happier. When you are happy, it's hard to understand a recurring dream that makes you anxious. Does it mean that really I am scared of change, scared of all the stuff going on? I looked deep inside of myself and asked the question. I guess there is some anxiety involved at times, but I don't feel overly anxious.

Is it something way simpler than that? Am I longing for what I had before? My old house is exactly as it was in real life. It's small and homely and comforting. I always felt that way about it. I was really very happy there. Perhaps I'm conflicted. I used to lack ambition, although lack isn't really the right word because I was happy not having any. Now I have so much of it, I have to reign myself in at times. Life is easier when you are content with what you have.

I think all of the rooms might represent the parts of my life I could do with changing or altering slightly. I am a little disorganised. I have all of this stuff going on and I don't even put things on the calendar! I don't have to-do lists and I'm always telling myself I should have. Sometimes my life seems a little chaotic and I know that's down to my lack of routine. I mean, I do have one, but the order is different every day!

Possible explanations for me are: They represent unconscious desires and wishes, or they are working as some sort of psychotherapy.

Sometimes I have a dream that I am ill, I have something bad and I keep forgetting to go the the doctor. I know right away that this is my procrastination. It's an obvious one for me. I think for a writer, it's a fairly common trait.

I have this fairly often and they are the most fun.

Lucid dreaming is where you are aware that you are dreaming and you usually have control over the content of your dream and the people in it.

Control can vary between lucid dreams. They often occur in the middle of a regular dream when you realise suddenly that you are dreaming.

There is often recurring content there too, but I won't go into that right now!