- Quality of Life & Wellness
Having kids will ruin your life
Kids are so cute, let's have some of our own!
We've all been there before: catching the eye of a giggling, wide eyed, innocent baby. This cutie patudie laughs every time you look in its direction. In this moment, you are the funniest person in the whole world. You think to yourself, there's nothing more that I'd rather do right now than have a cute baby of my very own. Yeah, having a baby will make my life even better than it is right now. Babies are soooooc cute..
That's where you're wrong. Having a baby will not make your life better, it will make your life worse. A lot worse, in fact. It's probably hard for you to understand these words because you're probably still thinking about how gosh-darn-cute babies are and how they could never do any wrong.
Having a baby will ensure you have no more free time
Let's get started on the many reasons why having this cute, could-never-do-you-any-wrong, baby will ruin your life. Why should i not have kids? First of all, remember all the free time you have right now? Time to sleep in whenever you want? Time to work on whatever project you felt like, whenever you want? Time to browse through the farmers market or the grocery store or the shopping mall, with ease? Time to go on a date with the love of your life, even a spontaneous date? Gone are those days, when you have a baby of your own. Of the many reasons not to have a baby, loss of free time can be a major buzz kill.
Let's go over the fine details as to how exactly having kids takes away your free time. First of all, when you have a newborn, expect to be up with your baby every few hours, 24 hours a day. This is all well and fine during the daytime hours, but when you're accustomed to having your evenings carved out as "me time", having a screaming infant in your ear every 2 to 4 hours all night long can really start to cramp your style. What about getting a babysitter? Good luck finding someone who is willing to watch a screaming baby who won't calm down. Can't the babysitter just give your baby a bottle? Sometimes, nothing soothes a baby more than the comfort of mommy. Guess what that means for you? You can't go out in the evenings. For awhile. Maybe a year or maybe 5 years. As for the mornings? Forget sleeping in for at least 5 or 6 years (or more, if you have more than one child). A lot of kids until the age of 5, wake up between 5 am and 7 am. Consider yourself as one of the lucky ones if your child wakes up after 7 am every morning. On a regular, staying-in-kind-of-night, don't expect to have unlimited time to work on your blog posts, read your favourite book, catch up on the latest tv shows, or work on work-related or personal projects because your kids will continue to keep you on your toes 24 hours a day. Sure, you may have one or two "good" nights a week, where there are few or no wake-ups from your kids, but is this really the the kind of life you want for yourself? Not having kids means you get to keep your free time and keep your dreams alive.
Having kids will cost you your friends and your social life
Some reasons not to have children can be petty, but losing your friends and your social life is a legitimate concern and a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes when I see young 20 somethings, having a carefree night out with friends, or a romantic handing-holding date with their steady, I feel a deep sense of jealousy and a little bit of resentment. Enjoy your life now! I say to myself. Sometimes I curse this twenty something person of freedom, wishing I had my freedom back.
When you first have a baby, expect your friends to stick around for the newborn stage of your baby's life, with many promises of "anytime you need me to babysit, just call me!". Newborns are cute, babies are pretty fantastic too, but once your child is out of the cute baby stage, don't expect to see your friends come around anymore. Or offer to babysit your kids. Especially after you have more than one child. Then you are pretty much a social leper. Once you're labeled as the "parent' of your social group, don't expect to be invited to social events, especially spontaneous social events. You can't be spontaneous because when it comes to childcare, you need to book in advance (other people have lives too). Get ready to lose all sense of spontaneity because when you have kids, you can't do anything at a moments notice. Every detail of your life has to be meticulously planned as not to offset your child's schedule or routine. There goes attending that last-minute show, catching up with an old girlfriend who's only in the city for one night, or any last minute plans made between friends (aren't all epic plans mostly last-minute?). So you'll lose your friends. No worries, you'll make new parent friends and you can talk about boring parenting stuff.
Having kids will cost you more money
It's hard to believe that after all the hard sacrifices you've made to bring your kid into the world and to after you've taken care of it, you're basically giving away your money. Kids aren't cheap. Expect to pay hundreds of dollars per month on diapers, wipes and formula alone. Once your kids are older, expect them to eat you out of house and home. You can just see the grocery bill rising. The older your kids get, the more food they will eat, thus the more money you will spend. Then there's the cost of extra curricular activities, the college fund (whaaaat, college fund?). Also, traveling is more expensive. Instead of buying just 2 plane tickets, you need to buy 3 or 4 or 5..... and you have to get larger hotel rooms (more money) to accommodate your family. Kids are expensive.
Now that you've read through this whole article (congrats for making it this far), the question is: why should i not have kids? The answer is pretty clear. You would have to be a crazy person (like me) to actually CHOOSE to have kids of your own, right? My main intent is not to convince you that not having kids is going to give you a better life (it probably will) or to just tell you reasons to not have kids (it kind of seems like I've just given you a lot of reasons in this article). My hope is that that those of you considering the life-changing decision to become parents will not blindly jump into parenthood without looking at the whole picture. I actually applaud those who choose not having kids over having kids because it takes guts to go against the status quo. I must go now and try to relieve my baby who has been screaming with teething pain for the latter part of this article. Ah, life.