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Having kids will ruin your life

Updated on August 4, 2013
These people look happy on the outside, but on the inside? Not really.
These people look happy on the outside, but on the inside? Not really. | Source

Kids are so cute, let's have some of our own!

We've all been there before: catching the eye of a giggling, wide eyed, innocent baby. This cutie patudie laughs every time you look in its direction. In this moment, you are the funniest person in the whole world. You think to yourself, there's nothing more that I'd rather do right now than have a cute baby of my very own. Yeah, having a baby will make my life even better than it is right now. Babies are soooooc cute..

That's where you're wrong. Having a baby will not make your life better, it will make your life worse. A lot worse, in fact. It's probably hard for you to understand these words because you're probably still thinking about how gosh-darn-cute babies are and how they could never do any wrong.

Reasons not to have children: Loss of time
Reasons not to have children: Loss of time | Source

Having a baby will ensure you have no more free time

Let's get started on the many reasons why having this cute, could-never-do-you-any-wrong, baby will ruin your life. Why should i not have kids? First of all, remember all the free time you have right now? Time to sleep in whenever you want? Time to work on whatever project you felt like, whenever you want? Time to browse through the farmers market or the grocery store or the shopping mall, with ease? Time to go on a date with the love of your life, even a spontaneous date? Gone are those days, when you have a baby of your own. Of the many reasons not to have a baby, loss of free time can be a major buzz kill.

Let's go over the fine details as to how exactly having kids takes away your free time. First of all, when you have a newborn, expect to be up with your baby every few hours, 24 hours a day. This is all well and fine during the daytime hours, but when you're accustomed to having your evenings carved out as "me time", having a screaming infant in your ear every 2 to 4 hours all night long can really start to cramp your style. What about getting a babysitter? Good luck finding someone who is willing to watch a screaming baby who won't calm down. Can't the babysitter just give your baby a bottle? Sometimes, nothing soothes a baby more than the comfort of mommy. Guess what that means for you? You can't go out in the evenings. For awhile. Maybe a year or maybe 5 years. As for the mornings? Forget sleeping in for at least 5 or 6 years (or more, if you have more than one child). A lot of kids until the age of 5, wake up between 5 am and 7 am. Consider yourself as one of the lucky ones if your child wakes up after 7 am every morning. On a regular, staying-in-kind-of-night, don't expect to have unlimited time to work on your blog posts, read your favourite book, catch up on the latest tv shows, or work on work-related or personal projects because your kids will continue to keep you on your toes 24 hours a day. Sure, you may have one or two "good" nights a week, where there are few or no wake-ups from your kids, but is this really the the kind of life you want for yourself? Not having kids means you get to keep your free time and keep your dreams alive.

Having kids will cost you your friends and your social life

Some reasons not to have children can be petty, but losing your friends and your social life is a legitimate concern and a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes when I see young 20 somethings, having a carefree night out with friends, or a romantic handing-holding date with their steady, I feel a deep sense of jealousy and a little bit of resentment. Enjoy your life now! I say to myself. Sometimes I curse this twenty something person of freedom, wishing I had my freedom back.

When you first have a baby, expect your friends to stick around for the newborn stage of your baby's life, with many promises of "anytime you need me to babysit, just call me!". Newborns are cute, babies are pretty fantastic too, but once your child is out of the cute baby stage, don't expect to see your friends come around anymore. Or offer to babysit your kids. Especially after you have more than one child. Then you are pretty much a social leper. Once you're labeled as the "parent' of your social group, don't expect to be invited to social events, especially spontaneous social events. You can't be spontaneous because when it comes to childcare, you need to book in advance (other people have lives too). Get ready to lose all sense of spontaneity because when you have kids, you can't do anything at a moments notice. Every detail of your life has to be meticulously planned as not to offset your child's schedule or routine. There goes attending that last-minute show, catching up with an old girlfriend who's only in the city for one night, or any last minute plans made between friends (aren't all epic plans mostly last-minute?). So you'll lose your friends. No worries, you'll make new parent friends and you can talk about boring parenting stuff.

Having kids will cost you more money

It's hard to believe that after all the hard sacrifices you've made to bring your kid into the world and to after you've taken care of it, you're basically giving away your money. Kids aren't cheap. Expect to pay hundreds of dollars per month on diapers, wipes and formula alone. Once your kids are older, expect them to eat you out of house and home. You can just see the grocery bill rising. The older your kids get, the more food they will eat, thus the more money you will spend. Then there's the cost of extra curricular activities, the college fund (whaaaat, college fund?). Also, traveling is more expensive. Instead of buying just 2 plane tickets, you need to buy 3 or 4 or 5..... and you have to get larger hotel rooms (more money) to accommodate your family. Kids are expensive.

why should i not have kids?
why should i not have kids? | Source

In conclusion

Now that you've read through this whole article (congrats for making it this far), the question is: why should i not have kids? The answer is pretty clear. You would have to be a crazy person (like me) to actually CHOOSE to have kids of your own, right? My main intent is not to convince you that not having kids is going to give you a better life (it probably will) or to just tell you reasons to not have kids (it kind of seems like I've just given you a lot of reasons in this article). My hope is that that those of you considering the life-changing decision to become parents will not blindly jump into parenthood without looking at the whole picture. I actually applaud those who choose not having kids over having kids because it takes guts to go against the status quo. I must go now and try to relieve my baby who has been screaming with teething pain for the latter part of this article. Ah, life.

Reasons not to have children

Why would you NOT have kids of your own?

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    • profile image

      dvirgo 2 years ago

      I have one kid...a baby of 1 years old. Yes I love him and if yo are a good parent and a single mom (one of those mature serious single moms) expect to kiss your decent social life and free time goodbye. Im a homebody now and every adventurous bone on my body hates me for abandoning that for a little adorable monster . however, years later once its all together and I'm no longer a green mom, he will be able to go out onto the world with me as a managable and manerable kid. My goal is to get allll that good stuff back in moderation by taking control of my sons life (to a decent level).....this should be a long process of age 1 to 10 but in order to change that for this goal to happen, I need to work on my self first. And fast.

    • Janellegems profile image

      Janellegems 3 years ago from United States

      I agree with what you are saying. I have seen it in my friends life when they have two, three and four kids. It can be quite difficult to go out once in a while without the children. This is a definite needed Hub for new parents to understand the changes in their lives when children are in it. Thanks for sharing.

    • okanagangurl profile image

      okanagangurl 3 years ago from Canada

      Jam07- I agree with a lot of your points. I try to be intentional about talking about non-kid related things at work. It's also nice to have balance in your life, and to also engage in and think about things other than your kids.

    • profile image

      jam07 3 years ago

      Good but typical reasons pointed out for an article like this. Loss of time is the biggest and best of the three. I always have to laugh when I read "loss of friends and social life" in an article written by a parent. They never seem to get it that non-parents lose their friends too. 95% of my long-time friends have kids and therefore no more time for me. Yes, we can make new friends but it gets more and more difficult to find people who don't have kids to be friends with. We have to either befriend people 15-20 years younger or older than us since they're the only ones without kids and therefore free time to go out. I've adjusted but it's sad for me as well when you only get to talk to your best friends once every few months and by appointment only. Even then, their kids are screaming in the background which makes for a difficult experience.

      One more thing I have to rant about is that I wish coworkers would keep their kid ramblings to themselves. I love and want to hear about my friends kids but I couldn't care less about my coworkers kids. I don't ramble on and on about how cute and adorable my dog is to non-dog owners because I know their most likely not interested so please don't ramble on about your kids to non-parents. Their either not interested or your being insensitive to people who are unable to have kids.

    • OMGirdle profile image

      OMGirdle 4 years ago from United States

      Hmm...interesting article. But I must say, as a mother of 3 adult children, it was quite worth all my time. It never seemed to be an imposition. To love a child and to be loved by a child is the greatest feeling in the world. And when your friends turn their back on you for petty stuff (and they will) your children are always there. Blood is thicker than water. I understand you want to persuade others to think about it. But I think they should look at the cons and the pros. I tell you there is nothing like it. It's rough during the teen years. But they rebound when they become adults and are more than gracious for all of your hard work. least mine were. You did point out some good points to consider.