Healing Kids is Different than Healing Adults - From a Metaphysical Dad's Perspective

A couple of weeks ago I hosted a workshop for empathic kids about managing their emotions through playful activities and mindfulness techniques…and it completely bombed. And, although I’m still a bit raw from the experience, I can see how it was all perfect. I’m finding the moments in it to be grateful for, and I definitely learned a lot of valuable an unexpected lessons.

So here’s the full story: I’ve been coming up with different techniques and activities to help my kids deal with their sensitivities to energy and other people’s emotions, and I’ve been working on translating all of the material that I’ve learned at a level that they will understand. It’s been working pretty well. So far the big key to it all, which is no surprise, is that repetition is king. Repeat it enough times and they will get it.

To give you some context, here is the description I posted on the Facebook event page: “Come join us for a couple hours of fun and educational energy playtime. We will use our imaginations to explore our sensitivities to energy, and we’ll run though some fun, all-ages exercises to clear negative energies and protect ourselves from unwanted energies. This workshop will be geared toward younger children in the 5-10 year old range but is open to all ages. Specific workshop content will be geared toward those in attendance so everyone will get what they need. If you have a child who is sensitive to energy, empathic, or psychically gifted, and you’re looking for techniques to help them understand and use their gifts safely, then you will definitely want to attend this playshop. No experience with energy or healing is required. Parents with lots of questions are very welcome.”

Then I try to accommodate those that may feel strange about something like this… “Now I know what you’re thinking... “this is weird.” Well it’s certainly not what most people would consider normal, but I assure you it will help your children grow up feeling confident in who they are if they learn and practice these techniques. We will use a variety of techniques including imagination-play, group healing & meditation, visualization, music, dancing, art, and blowing lots of bubbles.”

Sounds fun right? Then, the cherry on top, I give them an idea of who I am and what I’m about: “About the facilitator: Steve LaBranche is a Reiki Master, Licensed Massage Therapist, Psychic Intuitive, and most importantly a father to 2 young, energy-sensitive children. He is developing this material, based on his own personal healing from being a very sensitive child with anxiety and social issues, especially to help his own children, but also whoever wants to learn. He is currently in the process of writing children’s books for psychic and energy-sensitive kids specifically geared on teaching these kids specific techniques to identify and understand what they are feeling, how to self-sooth or self-clear, and how to protect themselves. Steve has hosted a variety of workshops over the years including Dads’ Groups, Drum Circles, Energy Workshops, and Healing Circles. Steve’s own children will also be in attendance so you can see how he uses these techniques on a practical level.”

So I’m obviously brilliant, right? I’m even going to have my own kids attend so you can see how awesome I am and how well this stuff works! As we say in New England, “wicked pissah!” Yeah, not so much. There were a few things that I had not considered, not all bad though. There were some positive surprises as well. Here’s a list of them, good and bad, in no particular order:

Essentially she makes demands and holds you hostage until she gets what she wants. I should have been a little more skeptical when she was telling me how excited she was to being doing Reiki with my friends. I even had coloring pages for filling your aura with positive-colored light and I had an abundance of bubbles. Nope, she wanted to play hide-‘n-seek and run up and down the halls of my office. When that was a no-go she thought it was cool to play bumper cars with my rolling, spinney massage stool. Note to self: never trust a 6 year old with your plans for a smooth-sailing workshop. When I look back on it now I understand that my daughter was anxious and her escape mechanism was to steal the other kids away, distract me, ask for my phone, and try to relieve herself through rapid movement which mostly included riding around and spinning on my rolling massage chair.

So in attendance were me, my 6 year old daughter, my 4 year old son, my 60 year old mentor, a healer who regularly attends our healing circles, and a very lovely woman who brought her 2 grandsons (6 years old, and an almost 3 year old). I was also expecting another friend of mine who was bringing her 5 year old daughter with Autism. (I’ve worked with Autistic kids in the past with great luck, but I’ll get back to that). So initially in attendance were 4 adults and 4 kids. Pretty balanced, right? NOPE! I can only compare toddlers in groups to what happens in Boston when the Patriots win the Super Bowl again. Instant SUPER HIGH ENERGY and total mob mentality. I’m pretty sure if there was a car parked in my studio they would have flipped it. I think it’s safe to say that I completely overestimated my ability to corral 4 toddlers and keep their attention. Which all makes complete sense now because all these kids were feeling the energy moving. They were releasing bad vibes, they were anxious, stuff came up for healing so they wanted to run.

So it was funny because my son, who will be 5 in a few weeks, stole the show a couple of times and was able to get the toddlers in sync. The first time I pulled out a book to show the kids some “YOGA BUG” moves and he totally got them interested in doing it mainly because he really liked it and they wanted to have fun with him too. Then he grabbed my little step-stool and proceeded to facilitate a game of “Simon Says,” my favorite move of which was him turning around, bending over, and shaking his butt yelling “Simon says wiggle your butt!” I was totally in awe of how awesome my son was and, as I think of it now, it makes total sense. He thrives under pressure. He lives in an environment where either I, or his Mom, are usually fighting with his big sister who has very big emotions and energy. He knows how to operate in the chaos and it was awesome.

One of the things that I did not consider was the amount of energy that would be present. I’ve hosted many Psychic Fairs at my studio and I do pretty powerful energy healing work there, not to mention the hundreds of crystals that call my studio their home. There’s a lot going on. I can also channel a ton of energy and, if I’m not paying attention, I can easily overwhelm someone. So it makes sense that I probably let my energy get away from me while I was distracted by the toddler mob and negotiating with my terrorist. On top of that, when my mentor and I get together we enhance each other’s energy. I’m thinking my studio may not be the best environment for a kids’ workshop. Maybe outdoors would be better where they can run free and ground directly on Mother Earth.

I already knew this but I was betting on my past experiences without considering all the factors. A couple of years ago I was doing healing work at an outdoor festival. There was a vendor across the field who had an 8 year old Autistic son. Mom would come over and talk and he’d just observe. He had a cool app on his tables that let him see dinosaurs superimposed on what the camera saw. A couple of days into the festival Mom got him to come over but he didn’t want to get on my table so we started in a chair. You can tell he was processing a ton of information as I channeled energy as gently as I could. He got up and wanted to try getting on my table. So normally when we setup a table for healing work the head of the table faces North and the foot faces South but I must have screwed up when looking at my compass app on my phone and we had it backwards. Sure enough, he gets on the table with his head to the North when we’d had everybody else backwards all weekend. He laid there for a few minutes while I channeled and then told me he was done and he got up. His mom asked him how he felt and he said “I feel better.” Normally those words are not all that deep but, in his case it meant a ton. I could feel the weight of it as he spoke it and his mom’s welling emotions confirmed it. So based on this experience I figured I’d have no issues with my friend’s daughter. Without considering the energy levels inside my studio (cause we were outside at the festival), and without considering that my friend’s daughter was non-verbal and have the age of the little boy I had worked with, it was just too much for her. She lasted maybe 5 minutes in my studio. I felt so bad and mom chalked it up to “well, we never know what to expect and this is just what happens sometimes,” but I wasn’t satisfied with that. I knew that I made an error in judgement so I’m definitely taking note for next time. I texted Mom later and offered to go over to her house sometime and work with her daughter one-on-one in her own environment, to which Mom is totally into, so I feel like I can make this one up.

One of the exercises that I came up with was teaching the kids that they can blow out the bad energy and feelings by blowing bubbles. You think of the feelings you don’t like and blow them into the bubbles and when the bubbles pop, the energy dissipates. It’s actually a very effective was for kids to clear their negative energy. I brought a bunch of little containers of bubbles for the kids in attendance to take home and I even brought a little bubble machine just for fun. You would have thought that the kids were doing lines of coke in the bathroom. The bubbles came out and it turned into an instant mosh pit of swinging arms and poking fingers. It was both hilarious and terrifying. It was like somebody had turned an “Intensity Knob” up. Once they saw the bubbles that’s all they wanted to do, nothing else mattered. Every time I refocused them they’d come back to the bubbles or my terrorist would hijack the bubbles and do her own thing.

I think this one if self-explanatory. I had a vision for how I wanted things to go. I figured my kids would behave, especially since my daughter seemed to be really excited about it. I really felt like I was going to be able to deliver a ton of value with every piece. I think I definitely did deliver some value. I know that everyone who attended received healing energy. That just happens there at my studio, especially being in the energy between my mentor and I. This is what we do and we’ve become very efficient at trusting the Universe and allowing the energy to pass though us to the point where we have to consciously shut it off to stop the flow. I thought we’d have more people as well but I’m kind of glad that we didn’t. More than 4 toddlers might have taken up down. I envision it being similar to how the zombies mobbed the humans in World War Z.

When I work on adults, or they attend the healing circles, most of them can keep it together pretty well thanks to their programming and years of practice stuffing the emotions down, or not reacting. Kids are that well versed yet. They don’t hide their feelings. I know from experience that when people receive healing a lot of the time trauma will come up and be felt again before it can be released. I definitely noticed with the youngest boy in attendance. He was releasing a ton of trauma, and I could feel it. His natural reaction was to get really active and start hitting his brother and trying to wrestle. I wouldn’t say he was being violent but he was definitely being a typical little boy. I know he definitely was able to let some stuff go at his level but it definitely was how an adult would release it and that’s what I had not considered. We have a pretty big dude who attends our healing circles who is 6’-4” and 340 pounds. If he reacted the way this little boy did when he released trauma I’m pretty sure I’d be dead. So, not that it’s bad, it’s just something to consider. Kids will be kids and react and see the world through their own filters.

Luckily, after all of this, I still love kids. I think when it comes to working with kids in the future I’ll be mostly sticking with working with my own kids and I’ll probably avoid doing group stuff. I think my strength will be trying out new stuff with my kids and then teaching other parents about what I’ve learned about what works and what doesn’t.

There’s also a lot to be said about seeing professionals when it comes to your children. My family is currently going through the IEP process for my daughter to get her the systems that she needs in place at school so that she can be successful. When dealing with schools, and most non-energetic people in general, I’ve learned to translate my knowledge and experience in a way that they are receptive to. Instead of saying, “well, my daughter needs space to get out of the traumatic energy of other kids because she can feel all of their stuff that comes up for release and for healing when they are expending energy during recess and lunchtime, or while waiting for the bus” I have to say “she gets overwhelmed in large groups that get loud and needs more space to breathe and adjust to the transition.”

During the process of getting her evaluated we did a number of surveys about her behavior and the school did some one-on-one assessments and when you do those kinds of things the data doesn’t lie. Essentially her behavior is caused by her wanting to escape when her anxiety gets high. This is great information as a parent because now I can use this information to create coping mechanisms that she can use in the moment and then it’s consistency and repetition to get the coping mechanisms engrained into her so she can self-sooth. So definitely know that there is a balance between the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual and the more you can cover all of those aspects the easier it is to find solutions.

All-in-all thought this process is helping me with healing from the stuff I went through as a kid. If I really want to teach my kids how to calm down in stressful situations I need to practice what I preach. When they start to annoy me and I get worked up I need to demonstrate that I’m using the same calm down techniques that I’m teaching them because that’s how they’ll truly get it. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable in front of your children. Kids need to know that their parents are human too. They need to know that it’s ok not to be perfect and to get upset sometimes and when they see you make mistakes and then not beat yourself up for it they’ll learn from that too. I wish you all the best of luck with your kids and I hope you savor every moment because they really do grow up so fast. Namaste.