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Help evolving your psyche: Things I wish someone had told me sooner

Updated on July 24, 2016

Stop self-sabotaging your free time!

How people subconsciously sabotage their time….
There is an art to being inefficient… And the people that know the art rarely know they are doing it. They believe they are hard-working people, and they are, but they are sabotaging themselves and they don’t even know it.
As we are growing up, we discover that ‘busy people’ get let off the hook for stuff falling through the cracks. We all learn this. If people are working hard, we give them license. On some level, some people learn the idea ‘if I am too busy, then it is okay if stuff falls through the cracks’… and at a subconscious level begin using that as a way to avoid stuff, or procrastinate…. a self-destructive trait is born.
There are two problems that collide to make make this situation feasible…. One is that inefficient people tend to be ‘interrupt driven’ meaning that if something comes up that is really important, they drop what they are doing, and they take care of that thing. In and of itself, that is a good thing. We do not want to stick to our plan at the expense of dealing with a bigger problem. But then there is this other issue of not wanting to deal with the small stuff as it pops up. Because they do not see it as an emergency, they feel that stuff shouldn’t get their immediate attention (even when there is nothing else going on). Which means that all of the little stuff gets de-prioritized, and downgraded, until either it is forgotten and let off the hook… or it becomes a situation that upgrades it to an urgent situation.
Now someone has a whole bunch of small things that have built up… and a bunch of emergencies *always* taking place… and they look like they are really busy… so they have a reasonable excuse for stuff falling through the cracks. But here is the thing… the entire thing was orchestrated by them at a subconscious level. If they ignore things to the point where now they have too much going on… and so stuff doesn’t get done… and they have being too busy as an excuse because they didn’t do them to begin with… it is like a big twisty loop of self-destruction, creating a situation where they are too busy from ignoring things to then be able to do any of them.
If that same person *always* did the small thing the first second they could, then those things wouldn’t be falling through the cracks. Those things would not be building up into urgent situations later. There would not be a cacophony of things making the person ‘busy’ all the time.
Being interrupt driven on a small level means that they spend LESS time interrupt driven in CRISIS mode. Suddenly they have more time to manage the medium items.
Dealing with backlog is always an issue. If you want more free-time, then always do all the small stuff as soon as it comes up so that it never builds up. And anything you really do not want to be doing, needs to go to the top of the priority list to get it off your plate, or they will build up and suck the life out of you. Avoidance is not a healthy, nor productive, tactic. Life tends to make the problems bigger and bigger until we have no choice but to face them… and if we didn’t want it when it was a baby version of itself, I promise that you will want it even less as a horse-sized, and especially not when it is Godzilla-sized… so better to take it on when it reaches the FIRST moment of not wanting to face it;)
Please know that if you are someone who is always cleaning up urgent situations because they didn’t get dealt with earlier, then you are probably one of the people that needs to be reading this. Setting your life up so that you always have too many things in the air, is not a valid excuse for why they are getting dropped. You never had to have that many things in the air to begin with… it was by your choice. Creating a situation whereby you don’t do things, to create our excuse for why you don’t do things… is just going to undermine your own sense of self-worth, and your confidence. You assuredly did not even know you were doing this. So please do not kick yourself too hard. Sometimes in life we just need to see things from a different perspective so that you can make the change:) You could just as easily choose to do them straight away, and no longer have the excuse of them holding you back. The thing that has been holding you back, is you. And now you can free yourself:)
There is an added knowledge that helps people to be more efficient, too.... Knowing what order to do things in so that you can 'nest' things together... if you are doing laundry, you can do other stuff while the load washes, and dries, etc... Lots of people feel like if they are being productive at all that they do not *need* to be doing anything else. But that isn't the case. If you want to get the most done, all at once, do not wait for one thing to be completed before you start the next... while you are doing the laundry you could clean the kitchen, or wash your car, or vacuum, or wash the dog. When being productive, make sure to fill in all of the gaps with other productive things so that by the time you are done with the laundry you have completed nearly everything else too:) If you did them all one at a time, it would take 10 times longer! :)

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