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Help for Shyness

Updated on May 9, 2011

Shyness can be a bummer to deal with.

Being shy, timid, and socially awkward can prevent a person from attaining success and happiness.

And in severe cases, problem shyness can lead to depression, loneliness, and severe mental distress.

As a long-time shyness sufferer, I have found a few tricks that have helped me reduce my shyness and increase my self-confidence. Maybe they can help you, too!

Here they are.


Study and Copy Confident People


When it comes to beating a shyness problem, a great tool to use is to simply study how confident people act, and then implement their behaviors.

Pick several people that you admire who are self-confident and non-shy. Study them. How do they act? How do they speak? How do they carry themselves?

Try to copy some (or all) of their behaviors. Start slow. Practice speaking like they do, using their vocal patterns and inflection.

Pretend that you are them. Adopt their self-confident mannerisms. Do they walk a certain way? Do they hold their head high?

For me, I've always liked listening to guys like boxer George Foreman and even arrogant, self-centered guys like Donald Trump.

I often use mannerisms or phrases or vocal inflections that both those guys use. And in George Foreman's case, I try to copy his wide, toothy grin and his easygoing, down-to-earth manner.

But the point is, you have to give yourself permission to "copy" self-confident people. And after a while, you will slowly feel more comfortable "acting" like the confident, non-shy people you admire.


Learn to Act


To overcome shyness, you have to give yourself permission to be a good actor. While acting in a way that you don't feel might seem phony, in terms of self-improvement, you have to give yourself the "ok" to ACT!

I often feel phony and fake when I force myself to act self-confident and self-assured, especially when I feel nervous or awkward on the inside.

But I've learned to accept the fact that in order to overcome my long-term shyness problem, I have to get used to "acting" and posturing; I've accepted that it's ok to put on a "self-confident face" when what lurks behind that face is shyness, awkwardness, and fear.

Understand? Give yourself permission to act the way that you want to be. After a while, as your self-confidence improves, your "acting" will feel normal and natural. And soon thereafter, your self-confidence will be real!

But, in the meantime, go out and act! Put on a face! It's ok!

Life is too precious and short to waste it being shy, timid, and socially awkward.


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