How Alanon and the 12 Steps Help Families of Alcoholics

Alanon, also written as Al-anon, is an international organization established by Lois Wilson, the wife of the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. Alanon was created to provide help and encouragement to the family and friends of alcoholics and other people with substance abuse problems.

Many people wonder whether or not this organization is right for them. For example, they often ask if the person who suffers from alcoholism has to be a close family member? No. You are welcome to attend Alanon meetings if anyone you know has a drinking problem that is upsetting you. This person could be your parent, child, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, brother, sister, child, business associate, or grandparent! I have even known of people who have gone to Alanon meetings because their boss was a heavy drinker, and they didn't know how to handle the situation. If someone else’s drinking bothers you, then you will find an understanding group of friends when you attend Al anon meetings. This is especially true if the other person’s drinking is creating stress or problems for you.

If you are a teenager, you may also want to attend Alateen meetings, a division of Alanon that is geared especially for the teenage children of alcoholics. Alateens have unique problems because the person who has a drinking problem can also have a lot of control over their lives. Being around other teens who are going through the same thing can be extremely helpful.

There are many types of thoughts and behaviors that could indicate that Alanon could help you. Here are some examples:

Do you ever feel guilty because of someone else’s drinking?

Do you think they would not have gotten drunk if you had not made them angry or upset? Do you try to reason with them?

Do you lay awake at night trying to think of a new approach, or some action you could take that would “save” this person?

Are you ever embarrassed by the behavior of a drinker?

Do you ever put yourself in dangerous situations by riding in a car with a drunk driver?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then 12 Steps of Alanon and the Al Anon slogans will help you get through those days when you feel that worry, guilt or embarrassment.

Listed below are some behaviors that indicate that Alanon could help you.

Are you uncomfortable refusing to ride with a drunk driver? Do you climb into the car, knowing that you are putting your own life in danger, and possibly the lives of your children? After you have been in Alanon a while, you may gradually begin to feel comfortable standing up for yourself in life-threatening situations.

Have you given up doing something or decided not to spend time with friends because your spouse is too drunk to go? Or, do you skip certain activities because you want to avoid social situations where you suspect there will be a lot of drinking? Does someone else’s drinking cause you to retreat and stay home? Alanon may help you learn how you can have a more full social life.

Is there a lot of financial stress and anger in your home? Does the alcoholic steal money from you, or spend money on alcohol or drugs that was intended for family expenses? Are they constantly asking to borrow from you? One skill that you will learn at Alanon meetings is how to set reasonable boundaries.

Have you ever lied about why someone missed work? Did you call their employer to say they were sick when they were really drunk or experiencing a hangover? Do you make excuses about why you can’t visit friends? Have you ever felt too embarrassed to tell the truth? Alanon will help you learn how to stop enabling their behavior.

If you said yes to even one of these questions, then you will find that attending Alanon meetings, learning the 12 Steps, and repeating the Al anon Slogans are all wonderful resources for you. This program has solutions that will help get your life back on track. When you go to a meeting, you will find a loving and supportive group of people who have gone through many of the same situations you are experiencing.

You can find AlAnon Family Groups listed on the internet, or in your local phone book. Meetings are held around the world, in multiple languages, so one should not be too far from you.