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How Low Self-esteem Affects Individuals

Updated on April 15, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Low self-esteem in relationships

I have noticed low self-esteem in a few women, and it is not only in a specific age group.

When married they are more affected by how they see themselves as individuals.

Men do have such issues, but mostly women are affected by low self-esteem.

  • What makes most women feel this way?

Low self-esteem shows in many women with troubled lives, especially from bad past experiences.

The self-worth of an individual is picked up when in the presence with other people.

The person feels less confident, and this allows them to go into another hiding corner. and not being able to stand up for themselves leaves them feeling alone.

When you want to speak the tongue becomes tied so words are not spoken out that easily or loudly.

The feeling of not having enough, and to be that popular person does get into the individual's mind.

It does allow for negative thoughts to affect the mind.

In this way an individual can feel alone.

Low self-esteem starts in the beginning of the life of an individual, it starts from the day of birth.

When a child is born the mother takes her baby and nurtures that being until older.

During that time, the mother shows love and attention, care, and interest in her baby's life.

In that way the child grows to love and feel safe and sense the mother's touch. You should feel the love of the mother first before the love of others, or from the rest of the family.

The story goes back to the seventies in the following example:

A woman had a baby girl and she was not happy with her child.

From the first day of birth, up until later in life that woman degraded her children at all times, in the presence of others and when as a family together.

There was no sign of a loving family.

They argued with each other and tried to be better than others.

Somehow they failed in each attempt.

They were not able to feel the love from their parents.

Their low self-esteem left them feeling hopeless at all times.

Their efforts were not good enough for their parents, and had not been ever since their childhood years.

The important growing up years made them feel insecure.

To feel less educated, and had made them look down on their achievements.

No matter how good their performances were at school grades they were not given a simple appraisal.

These children were often compared to other children in the same school, or to other family members who had better school grades.

The mother often scolded her kids and no appraisal, no compliments on anything they well-achieved results.

Low self-esteem kicked in more easily.

These children have grown up to be less confident and with a low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem affects children when young and they grow into troubled adults the past always haunts them.

Socially that can be a wreck in their lives.

The individual does not build a steady relationship with a low self-esteem.

Communication is poor and understanding each other becomes more of a problem in such cases.

In this family the older daughter married and divorced within six months. She wasn't not be confident enough in her marriage or secure with her ex husband.

The many arguments with her married partner had made her very unhappy.

She had constantly accused him of seeing someone else, or that he had cheated on her at some time or the other.

It caused their relationship to fall apart very quickly, even I was surprised.

I could not believe she would go on like that with her partner treat him as a nothing and a cheater.

She always felt he had someone better than her and he did not have anyone else but her in his life.

The poorly educated person had a low self-esteem.

Not being familiar with how to appear in public, and had not learned from their parents of the most important aspects of their lives.

The lack of love and happiness.

A child starts to pick up emotions or signals when with the mother.

If a parent praises their child for anything small that child would feel good about themselves immediately. It would bring a new light to that child's life.

Only a parent can put their child on a pedestal nobody else can will do that for your child.

If the parent ignores their child's efforts then there is going to be a certain amount of insecurity in that child's mind.

It is not like people don't have insecure minds, gradually the child gets pushed over the edge and feel more than the average of insecure minds and grows up with a low self-esteem.

Even in this modern time most parents fail to see low self-esteem in their children.

It is sad that such cases are still happening in many families.

Low self-esteem can make people feel less loved. Conversations are often ignored with such individuals, and children tend to feel insecure from childhood.

What bad affects your childhood leads to you having a troubled adulthood.

The other members of the family are affected by your experiences.

Relationships are destroyed by low self-esteem and acceptance is hard, the self-doubt increases and love is never enough to resolve the problem.

  • Do you have high self-esteem?

  • Did your parents love you enough to leave you with a high self-esteem?

The worst case scenario is often thought of first by a person with a low self esteem.

Negative thoughts often build-up and getting on with a group of people is not the answer.

Going out to connect with friends becomes the thing of the past.

No both partners can be the same and in such cases partners look at each other differently. They are under-estimated by others or by themselves.

Any negative comment is highly effective to the person with a low self-esteem and it can be most upsetting to the individual.

Instead of working together on their self-worth issues they fall apart. Often the relationship goes down or ends up in a break up.

This happens when one partner feels less loved by the other.

Individuals tend to focus on the hurt from the past.

In the process the present is no longer the actual focus of their relationship.

The worst fear is their partner leaving them for another even when it is not the case.

They look for what would make them fear a situation and what would cause a problem.

There are no good qualities to help the person psychologically.

The girl who grew up with poorly educated parents and who led such a poor life and found her way to a low self-esteem way of life had lost her marriage and social life.

She wore her own mask to avoid confrontation from others.

When she did not feel her mother's love her life went downhill.

All she needed was to feel loved and to beloved but that did not come her way.

The tone of her mother's voice made her feel that way.

The behavior of her mother showed her the unhappy life in her childhood.

She wanted reassurance from others to find out what she was missing in all those years of her life. Unfortunately she did not find her answers from outside.

The actual problem was within her and with her upbringing.

The disappointment lies with such individuals, who constantly need reassurance and become needy with their own issues.

Relationships are not easily formed with others the low self-esteem is in control of ones mind.

Feeling less worthy, unloved, misunderstood, painful experiences, defensive thoughts, and the blame is more than enough to hurt such individuals.

They tend to hold in feelings and look down on themselves more each day.

It is a chaotic lifestyle in trying to make something right for others.

To try to impress others to fit in and sometimes the ideas don't work out as planned.

Low self-esteem affects individuals in the smallest of conversations.

  • For example:

When asked a question the individual can become defensive when answering. They do expect to be degraded or criticized by others. It is how they live in denial and won't admit their wrong doing.

They are afraid to be shouted at for something they did that might trigger an argument.

The individual is afraid of making a mistake and most observant of others in their behaviors, also of how others dress up.

When others have basic requirements, and they don't have such items are the little observations that can make the individual feel at their lowest.

  • Rejection is another fear that clouds them from society.

Individuals can become angry and show aggressive behavior if rejected by others.

Sometimes such individuals form a gang to feel good about themselves that too can be asserted with violence towards innocent people.

Those with Low Self-esteem have no good thoughts they feel the need to perfect their lives to be successful but this is approached with perfection.

Improve on your goals and meet up with your standard of life to feel good about yourself.

You do what you were taught and respond to it in certain ways that you think is helpful.

  • For example, the response can be abusive.

When one feels less worthy, they become less communicative and withdrawn at the same time.

Communication with people becomes the problem no one can encourage the individual to socialize with others.

The person feels there is not much to offer in a relationship, when in a group with co-workers, when at school, or at other public places.

  • Fear has the control of the once clear thinking mind.

It is difficult to maintain relationships.

The lack of communication allows individuals to become withdrawn from society.

Fear of rejection and of admitting their faults are a crisis.

The lack of learning skills shows their disabilities.

Self-doubt

Self-reflection

Self-sabotage

Dissatisfaction

Promiscuity

The less achieved

The needy

The over worked

The false mask

Self loathing

Self-consciousness

Self-awareness

In discussions the individuals try to be part of a conversation and pretend to understand the whole concept of the conversation.

They don't want others to know their understanding is poor on a specific topic.

  • Their vulnerability allows them to show this type of behavior.

Feel good about Yourself

Low self-esteem in Relationships

Did your Parents Love you enough to leave you with a high self-esteem?

See results

Low Self-esteem can Destroy one's Personality

© 2014 Devika Primić

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    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Shyron E Shenko thank you kindly for sharing a valuable thought here.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 

      4 years ago from Texas

      Devika, this is a very informative hub. Self-esteem is learned and/or should be taught from infancy.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Harishprasad so kind of you to take the time and comment on several of my hubs you couldn't have said more perfectly your kindness is always appreciated thank you for the vote up

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 

      4 years ago from New Delhi , India

      Low self esteem arises when a guy gives much attention to the contrasts in life and is jealous of achievements of others, be it wealth, education, grooming, career, skills and whatever. Such kind of person always remains engrossed in comparing one's worth based on these and makes his/her life miserable and wretched. We must keep in mind-even if we lack in all these things, our self esteem is always intact. A poor man who has a jest for life and extends his helping hand to the needy ;participates in the activities of life with all attention is richer in self-esteem than a very handsome/beautiful and well educated and well-heeled guy bugged by jealousy and inferiority complex. Great article, Devika. Voted up.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi FlourishAnyway thank you for stopping by your continuous support is always appreciated.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      4 years ago from USA

      Low self-esteem is such a problem, and I agree with you that it often begins very early in life from the messages you hear about yourself.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi DREAM ON thank kindly for sharing such encouraging comments have a nice day.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Monis Mas thank you kindly

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi tobusiness Thank you for very much for sharing your interesting comment

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi D.A.L. thank you very much for sharing another encouraging comment always so thoughtful and vlear to me and your votes are kindly appreciated.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 

      4 years ago

      Your hub goes in such detail I will have to revisit many times. I really loved your you tube video on self esteem and I couldn't stop watching so many other good videos. Two hours later I had to stop.Once again you enlighten and inform me of things I never knew. Thank you for your wonderful work.

    • Monis Mas profile image

      Aga 

      4 years ago

      Very interesting article. I would love my self-esteem to be higher. I haven't figure out yet how to make it happen.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 

      4 years ago from Lincolnshire, U.K

      Devika, you've written another gem. I think most of us are affected by low self-esteem at different times in our lives. Whether it's about looks, not clever enough, not loved enough there are always somethings that will make us feel less worthy. I like to think I've grown out of it, and some things simply do not matter anymore. You're always thought-provoking. Nice work, my friend.

    • D.A.L. profile image

      Dave 

      4 years ago from Lancashire north west England

      This article would tie in nicely with your excellent hubs on self confidence both of which are interlinked,in my opinion. Very good advise here for all who are suffering from low esteem. Once again you have produced a very informative and helpful article. Voted up,useful .and interesting

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Peggy W you are so right thank you

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Purpose Embraced thank you for sharing your thoughts at my hubs.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Susan thank you for the vote up your kindness is appreciated.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Eiddwen thank you for the vote up and good on you f or gaining such confidence now well done

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      raymondphilippe thank you kindly for the vote up and in sharing your valuable points here.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      billybuc thank you for sharing your thoughts at my hubs.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      4 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Low self esteem can adversely affect so many things in a person's life. I was lucky having people around me who nurtured and supported me when I was growing up and even afterwards as an adult. Nice to be surrounded by people like that and we should seek them out.

    • Purpose Embraced profile image

      Yvette Stupart PhD 

      4 years ago from Jamaica

      Our self-esteem is how we see ourselves. If we like what we see this could make a positive difference in all areas our lives including our relationships. Thanks for posting DDE.

    • Susan Recipes profile image

      Susan 

      4 years ago from India

      Very informative share. Thanks DDE for sharing. Voted up.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      4 years ago from Wales

      Brilliant Devika I had very low self esteem as a child however I am now far more confident. A wonderful hub which again will benefit so many readers and voted up for sure.

      Eddy.

    • raymondphilippe profile image

      Raymond Philippe 

      4 years ago from The Netherlands

      Low self-esteem can form the basis of many life long problems. It can steal the person of many opportunities and happiness. It is just as well a male thing as a female thing. You did a good job! Voted up.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I think it's possible for a child to have low self-esteem AND have loving parents....at least that's how it was for me. Happily I grew out of it eventually. Very good points here my friend.

    • DDE profile imageAUTHOR

      Devika Primić 

      4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Cherylann thank you for the thoughtful comment on low self-esteem your words are meaningful and so true from such experiences.

    • Cherylann Mollan profile image

      Cherylann Mollan 

      4 years ago from India

      Hi DDE! Very informative hub. Low self-esteem can really cripple a person. I experienced this for some part of my life and I know how scared I was of social gatherings. I've learnt to work on it now, and though I can't say I'm completely over it, I realize that so much of my doubts and fears were in my head. Thank you for this hub. Hopefully, it'll be helpful to a lot of people suffering from low self-esteem.

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