How To Be Happy With Who You Are

"Be Yourself.

Everyone Else Is Already Taken."

---Oscar Wilde

When I look through a celebrity magazine today, it's hard to tell one celebrity apart from the next. With the same hairstyles, facial features and body types, everyone is starting to look alike. It's rare that anyone, celebrity or not, dares to be different. Yet our differences are what make us stand out. So why don't we want to stand out?

I think the answer is in one word: fear. We fear what others will think of us. What if they think my hair is ugly? We fear making a mistake. What if I wear the wrong thing? We fear not being good enough. What if they don't like me?

Truth is , we can never control what others think about us. Think about it, even if someone tells you that you look great, it doesn't mean that they mean it, and even if someone doesn't tell you , that doesn't mean they aren't thinking it! We never really know what is in the true thoughts of another. We can only control our own. So ask yourself, what is your fear about being yourself? What is the worst that can happen? Do you fear looking stupid? Not being accepted? Having something in your teeth? If these things do happen, then what? NO ONE IS PERFECT! We all have had embarrassing or awkward moments. The key is to be able to laugh at these moments and move on. Maybe even share them as a funny story. My friends and I call them "ain't easy bein' me" moments. By sharing them, we show that we are human and that we can laugh at ourselves. If you are constantly holding back on who you are because of fear of fitting in, it will make you feel alienated anyway, because you won't be happy. Being true to who you are, and being happy with who you are is the surest way to gain acceptance, maybe not by all, but by most, because the first person who accepts you as yourself will be YOU! When someone is happy in her own skin, it shows. There is a confidence and a happiness that will shine through, and that radiance is what will attract others to you.

1. Know Who You Are NOW Take time to reflect on the most important aspects of what makes you, you. What do you value in life? What do you like to do? What people do you admire, and why? Accept that you have changed over time, and disregard who you were in the past if that no longer serves you. Who are you, now? Try filling in this sentence..."I am a person who values___ and I enjoy____. "

2. Be True To Yourself Be honest with yourself, but not critical. For example, maybe you don't look best in long hair and a shorter cut would suit you better. Instead of filling your head with thoughts of not fitting in with the latest trend, let your thoughts be uplifting and emphasizing of your strengths. Remind yourself that you look your best and feel most comfortable with your own unique look. The same goes with your opinions, likes and dislikes. Trust me, when you honor what is best and most comfortable for you, that is when the genuine compliments will come! (And even if they don't, you will still be basking in a self-confidence that comes from honoring what is best and right for you.)

3. Don't Let Others Define You When others give you their opinions, weigh them carefully. Be open to constructive criticism given with a good intent, but consider the source if someone is being mean, jealous or spiteful. Others' opinions and constructive criticisms may help you grow and improve. But above all, know yourself and be confident in what is right for you.

4. Let Your Individual Style Shine! Your style involves your fashion as well as the very essence of who you are. Maybe you're on the cutting edge with clothing, or maybe you have a classic look. Maybe you're the life of the party, or maybe you're more the laid-back type. The most important thing is that you know who you are and you're not afraid to show it. Look to role models who fit with the vision you have for yourself, but don't compare what you look like or act like to anyone else. Comparing often leads to criticism and self-doubt. Instead, try admiring features in others that you would like to have in you, reminding yourself that someone else may just be admiring you!

The ultimate goal is not only to know yourself, but to be happy with who you are. Know yourself at your core of values, strengths, likes, dislikes, individual personality and style. Follow what feels comfortable and right to you and try to make decisions and choices that honor your true self, rather than making them out of fear. We are often afraid of sticking out for the wrong reasons-- being happy with who you are is a sure way to stand out for all the right ones.