Coping With Change

If you were to look back on your life experiences and choose one change that was hard to cope with, which one would you choose? For me, this question is difficult to answer, because there are several situations in my life that would fall into this category.

What are the situations that have been hard for you to cope with? Maybe it has been inviting that first precious baby into your family. Perhaps, a loved one has recently passed away. Or, maybe, you have moved to a different state, and your kids are having a hard time adjusting. Whatever situation you have gone through or are currently going through, change is difficult, because it doesn't come naturally.

As human beings, we are creatures of habit. We feel safe when we are coddled by predictability and consistency. We enjoy having balance in life and change only disturbs the balance. This loss of balance leaves us vulnerable and it creates discomfort in our lives.

So, how do we cope with change in our life? Is change a good thing? Let's take a journey and attempt to understand this process of dealing with change in our lives.

Some people are able to easily adapt to change in their life. I know I am not one of them!

What is their secret?

How do they do it?

What is their magic formula?

Let's begin our journey by looking at some tips that will help us cope with change.

Change is inevitable! We need to have a handle on this concept! We need to be prepared for anything to disturb that balance we were talking about. I have found that when life seems to be going easy, it is at that exact moment something happens that I was totally not expecting. Change is reality; it comes and goes as it pleases. If we are prepared for these situations, change might be easier to deal with.

By flip-side, what I mean is to re-frame the meaning we have attached to change in our lives. Let's say that a mother is having a hard time letting her only son go(getting married). The mom can re-frame the meaning by realizing she is not loosing her son, but rather gaining the daughter she never had. This flip side method allows the person to think about something positive rather than the negative. You may be more familiar with the saying, "Look for the silver lining". We should be looking for something positive in everything.

This is the only thing you do, Control Yourself! We can not control the changes that come into our lives. We can change how we react to them, however.

Don't complain when change comes into your life. This is something I need to work on for sure. I tend to complain and compare myself to others. This is a definite No-NO, as comparing oneself to another only makes things worse.

I am not saying that any amount of complaining is wrong. Complaining in the beginning is certainly understandable, especially if a loved one has died. I believe we are allowed to ask questions and to be upset. But, as time goes on, constant complaining can only damage the situation we are in.

A sense of purpose in our lives is crucial to helping us cope with change. Purpose acts as an anchor, holding us up, when life's blows try to knock us off our feet. When change comes our way, we must remain true to ourselves and remember what goals we are trying to accomplish. This can act as a distraction as well, causing us to think on something other than the one thing that is weighing us down.

When dealing with change, we must realize that we are not alone. We have friends in our lives who can help us journey through and have victory over these situations. We can go to our local library and read some self help books. There are many wise people out there who have written great books on this issue.

We Are Not Alone! Realizing this important concept will help us out immensely.

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh or unkind. What I mean by this, is that there comes a time when we must move on with our lives. We can't allow our situations to rule us and dictate our lives! We must learn how to use these situations as stepping stones for our future. These changes that come into our life can help mold and shape us into stronger people!

"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." John A. Simone Jr.

"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations." Faith Baldwin

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place." Washington Irving

"It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be." Isaac Asimov

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." Helen Keller

In the introduction, I purposefully mentioned an example of a positive change and a negative change. Sometimes when we think of change, we immediately think of loosing a loved one or getting laid off. But, positive change is hard to adapt to as well. Even welcoming a baby into the family can be difficult. This is because we tend to react to the idea of change itself, and not the quality of the change. We are comfortable with consistency because consistency is oftentimes easier. But easy isn't always best!

Coping with change is difficult and does not come easy, at least not for me! I find it difficult to adapt to change, but am learning every day. Adapting to change is necessary, and we must be prepared.

Change is inevitable! I am sure all of us have heard this saying once or twice:"The only thing constant in this world is change".

Let's face change head on and encourage each other along the way!

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