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Coping With Change

Updated on July 22, 2012

Are You Prepared?

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Why Is It Hard To Cope With Change?

If you were to look back on your life experiences and choose one change that was hard to cope with, which one would you choose? For me, this question is difficult to answer, because there are several situations in my life that would fall into this category.

What are the situations that have been hard for you to cope with? Maybe it has been inviting that first precious baby into your family. Perhaps, a loved one has recently passed away. Or, maybe, you have moved to a different state, and your kids are having a hard time adjusting. Whatever situation you have gone through or are currently going through, change is difficult, because it doesn't come naturally.

As human beings, we are creatures of habit. We feel safe when we are coddled by predictability and consistency. We enjoy having balance in life and change only disturbs the balance. This loss of balance leaves us vulnerable and it creates discomfort in our lives.

So, how do we cope with change in our life? Is change a good thing? Let's take a journey and attempt to understand this process of dealing with change in our lives.

How Can I Cope With Change?
How Can I Cope With Change?

Tips To Help Us Cope With Change

Some people are able to easily adapt to change in their life. I know I am not one of them!

What is their secret?

How do they do it?

What is their magic formula?

Let's begin our journey by looking at some tips that will help us cope with change.

1. Preparation

Change is inevitable! We need to have a handle on this concept! We need to be prepared for anything to disturb that balance we were talking about. I have found that when life seems to be going easy, it is at that exact moment something happens that I was totally not expecting. Change is reality; it comes and goes as it pleases. If we are prepared for these situations, change might be easier to deal with.

2. Flip-Side

By flip-side, what I mean is to re-frame the meaning we have attached to change in our lives. Let's say that a mother is having a hard time letting her only son go(getting married). The mom can re-frame the meaning by realizing she is not loosing her son, but rather gaining the daughter she never had. This flip side method allows the person to think about something positive rather than the negative. You may be more familiar with the saying, "Look for the silver lining". We should be looking for something positive in everything.

3. Controlling Yourself

This is the only thing you do, Control Yourself! We can not control the changes that come into our lives. We can change how we react to them, however.

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4. Don't Complain

Don't complain when change comes into your life. This is something I need to work on for sure. I tend to complain and compare myself to others. This is a definite No-NO, as comparing oneself to another only makes things worse.

I am not saying that any amount of complaining is wrong. Complaining in the beginning is certainly understandable, especially if a loved one has died. I believe we are allowed to ask questions and to be upset. But, as time goes on, constant complaining can only damage the situation we are in.

5. Having Purpose

A sense of purpose in our lives is crucial to helping us cope with change. Purpose acts as an anchor, holding us up, when life's blows try to knock us off our feet. When change comes our way, we must remain true to ourselves and remember what goals we are trying to accomplish. This can act as a distraction as well, causing us to think on something other than the one thing that is weighing us down.

6. Use Those Resources!

When dealing with change, we must realize that we are not alone. We have friends in our lives who can help us journey through and have victory over these situations. We can go to our local library and read some self help books. There are many wise people out there who have written great books on this issue.

We Are Not Alone! Realizing this important concept will help us out immensely.

Six letters, two words, easy to say, hard to explain, harder to do, "Move On"
Six letters, two words, easy to say, hard to explain, harder to do, "Move On" | Source

7. Move On!

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh or unkind. What I mean by this, is that there comes a time when we must move on with our lives. We can't allow our situations to rule us and dictate our lives! We must learn how to use these situations as stepping stones for our future. These changes that come into our life can help mold and shape us into stronger people!

Inspirational Quotes On Coping With Change

"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." John A. Simone Jr.


"Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations." Faith Baldwin


"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place." Washington Irving


"It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be." Isaac Asimov


"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." Helen Keller

Positive Change Can Be Difficult
Positive Change Can Be Difficult | Source

Positive VS. Negative Change

In the introduction, I purposefully mentioned an example of a positive change and a negative change. Sometimes when we think of change, we immediately think of loosing a loved one or getting laid off. But, positive change is hard to adapt to as well. Even welcoming a baby into the family can be difficult. This is because we tend to react to the idea of change itself, and not the quality of the change. We are comfortable with consistency because consistency is oftentimes easier. But easy isn't always best!


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Easier Said Than Done?

Coping with change is difficult and does not come easy, at least not for me! I find it difficult to adapt to change, but am learning every day. Adapting to change is necessary, and we must be prepared.

Change is inevitable! I am sure all of us have heard this saying once or twice:"The only thing constant in this world is change".

Let's face change head on and encourage each other along the way!



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Cope With Change And Move On

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    • Rfordin profile image

      Rfordin 4 years ago from Florida

      I gotta tell you I found this hub at the perfect time since my little family is about to make BIG changes. My daughter starts kindergarden TOMORROW and we also are closing on a new home. She's very sensitive to change and here I go throwing her in a new school, moving into a new house....ahhhh. It's worthy of "mommy" guilt to say the LEAST.

      I think you hit the nail on the head that as human beings we are creatures of habit. I hope my little girl (and I) get through the huge changes taking place in the upcoming months.

      A pleasure as always Josh,

      ~Becky

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Sharon,

      Thanks for visiting this hub; it tooks several hours and it meant a lot to me. I feel this topic is very important! Thanks for the questun compliment! :)

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      What a great hub and excellent advice from such a youngin'. I personally am a "foot stomper coper" if that makes any sense. Just one question Josh: How the heck have you gained so much wisdom already at your age? Hmmmmm!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Mythical,

      Yes, change can be difficult but is necessary!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Melchi,

      Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed it.

    • mythicalstorm273 profile image

      mythicalstorm273 4 years ago

      This is really great advice! Change can be so difficult to deal with for many people! I really do not have an issue with it for the most part because I already thought of all the things you listed, but I still thought the list was very well done and very informative! Great hub!

    • MelChi profile image

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Very thought provoking article! Personally, I love change - it keeps me on my toes and keeps things interesting. Thanks for sharing this interesting topic.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      M,

      Thanks so much hub friend! I enjoy your support here on HubPages so very much!

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      Josh, you're really a unique and wonderful writer! I always love your hubs.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Mary,

      Thanks for the awesome feedback Mary! I really appreciate it!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      You packed a lot of wisdom into this Hub. As I get older and look back on my life, I see that each change was a stepping stone to the next event in my life. Change is good, though. I think it's good to get out of our comfort zone and face new chanllenges.

      Great Hub. I voted it UP, and will share.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aubrey,

      Yes, at time it is scary but a must for us in our lives. Thanks for the feedback.

    • CrazedNovelist profile image

      A.E. Williams 4 years ago from Hampton, GA

      Great advice Josh, change is inevitable and dealing with it is a must. It's always good to be prepared and ready for whatever change may come your way. At times though it's scary...

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      cat,

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting and for your support here on HubPages! Yes, acceptance is a great way to cope with change. Thank you for that. Have a good one!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      dleg,

      Thanks so much for your insightful feedback! That is very much appreciated! I understand what you men about number one about forcing the concept too much. And I also agree with your view on #7, somewhat. I guess it is hard to draw the line, does that make sense?

      Thanks so much for taking the time to stop and read my hub and leave me a beneficial comment! Take care hub friend!

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

      Josh, great subject and useful hub. Like you, I hate changes, but have had to learn to adapt to every one that comes along. Acceptance is a big part of coping, not an easy one, but one way I cope. Great advice in this hub.

    • dlegendre profile image

      Diane Blanchette 4 years ago from New Hampshire

      Great subject pick! Educational and it is something everyone can relate to. Good insight. on #1, yes change is inevitable but let's not stress that so much that we make those worry warts pull out their hair waiting for "change" to happen again. #2 and 3 are excellent advice. #4, people who complain about life everyday will just complain more during change. You can guide them to change their way of thinking but a lot of times they attach chronic complaining to who they are and expect the world to just accept it. There are those rare people who will read self improvement and spiritual books to improve this. But they are rare.. #5 is also excellent. I usually find a new project to do at home to make up for the stress of whatever change is going on causing stress. Another example is when a new baby is born. Give the little sibling a job to do that involves the baby and they will have purpose and feel like they are contributing to the livlihood of their special new sibling. Ah #6, resources. I provide all my patients with different resources but most of the time they pick the easiest or none at all. But that is their choice. #7 Move On..........I hate tht term. Everyone processes differently and at different speeds. If you say this prematurely you could dishearten them and they will stop and remain stuck. But I understand what you mean. Maybe saying, "youre doing great and seem to be moving on at a managable speed for yourself". Overall, information was useful, organized, practical and I like the added Rascal Flats! Vote up. Good job :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Malin,

      Thanks for stopping by and offering your feedback! I am glad it is a happy change!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      Good Hub on "Change" Josh. Very Thoughtful tips. Life is one big Change...but that's how it is. Some Good, some planed, some Not...Right now we are working on a BIG Change in our lives, but thank goodness it will be a Happy one!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Julie,

      Thanks! I appreciate your feedback, and yes, I love that picture! :)

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 4 years ago from Clinton CT

      Excellent practical advice. Very good!!! I love that photo of you- hilarious!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Penlady,

      Exactly! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, so very true! Much Appreciated!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Julie,

      Thanks for your insights about change. Yes, for sure, some respond better than others. How did my hub come across overall?

    • penlady profile image

      penlady 4 years ago from Sacramento, CA

      This hub is wonderful and especially appropriate for today’s way of living. Life seems faster now than ever, and yes we must become accustomed to change.

      We have to break out of our comfort zones in order to move forward with our lives. To continue to stay in them will only provide us with a life half-filled and partially satisfying.

      Life is all about change, and if we learn to embrace rather than run from it, I think we can deal with those changes better.

      Again, wonderful hub. Voted up and interesting.

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Josh, I used to train people in change management (in a previous job) so me n change are old pals! Change is hard for some people but if people learn to see change as something of which they are part - even if they don't choose it, they can be part of the process so that they understand why it is happening, it gets easier to handle. From experience, I know that some people respond to it better than others though.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Cyber,

      Thanks, appreciate your feedback!

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 4 years ago

      Great hub Josh, one of the three things we can be sure of in life, the other two are death and taxes! Voted up and interesting

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      TT,

      Thanks, I really appreciate that feedback! You just made my day! I appreciate your support and encouragement!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Good job, Josh. Nice to see you getting back to your roots with some good advice and a well written hub. :) Keep up the good work.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Marlene,

      Yes, change is hard, especially when we are surrounded by comfort. Thanks for the insightful feedback, much appreciated!

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      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      This was an excellent hub Josh. You have given me something to really ponder about today. There are several situations in my life as well. The comfort zone is comfortable and our own little cocoon, but if you really want to move ahead in your life, you must break free, which means that we must take risks. As humans, we are constantly evolving so change like you mentioned is inevitable. Change is risky for many people because we are all creatures of habit. It's probably going to feel very uncomfortable in the beginning, but later on you will see the rewards. It's all about adapting. Voted up and thanks for sharing

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Beckie,

      Thanks, I appreciate the great feedback! :)

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Excellent job with this one Josh. Change is inevitable and can not be avoided. Life teaches this lesson whether we like it or not. And it is necessary as well.

      Great write and you provide a sensible take on the subject.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Joseph,

      Thanks friend! I am glad it could be of help to you!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Trinity,

      Make it your friend! Excellent picture!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Jeff,

      Thanks for commenting and yes, your grammy is correct! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Patty,

      Thanks, glad it was useful for you.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Karen,

      Thanks, I sure did put a lot of thought into this! And I am glad I could leave you with some good tips, time spent = well worth it! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Carter,

      Thanks so much for the great feedback!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Michelle,

      Thanks, and yes moving on helps tremendously here!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Linda,

      Great motto and way to counteract negative experiences! Excellent feedback, and I am glad you learned something from it.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Dexter,

      I am glad it was inspirational and helpful for you, thanks for the feedback.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Janine,

      Thanks so much, I am glad this could be of help to you! thanks for the compliment as well, you mean a lot to me with your encouragement and support! I appreciate it so much, and will never take it for granted!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Brews,

      Thanks I am glad it was helpful to you. Yes change does make us stronger, great observation.

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      Hi Josh,

      You did a remarkable hub. We do change no matter what. Time is inflexible with us, and we cannot change things. We were born at the right time, and we can change things but we never know the outcoming. Thanks for writing this hub! We all need it!

    • Trinity M profile image

      Trinity M 4 years ago

      Great hub josh. The only thing you can be sure of in life is change so you’d better get used to it, embrace it and make it your friend. Thanks for the tips and the advice, great job. Voted up and useful.

    • Jeff Gamble profile image

      Jeff Gamble 4 years ago from Denton, Texas

      Change sure is a challenge - Great tips on how to get through it. You are right about the need to move on, as my grandmother used to say, sometimes you need to [poop] or get off the pot.

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 4 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      Definitely Useful and Interesting!!!! Change is hard for a lot of people to deal with and this hub provides some very good advice!!

    • Karen Hellier profile image

      Karen Hellier 4 years ago from Georgia

      Very good hub. It is evident you put a lot of thought into this. I have some changes coming up in a few months, and I like the Flip side idea. Keeping that in mind should help me cope better. Thank you!

    • carter06 profile image

      Mary 4 years ago from Cronulla NSW

      Change sure is hard Josh...one thing that has helped me with change that I've faced in life is to look at it as an opportunity to see and experience life differently...challenging but helpful...great hub Josh...voted up, useful,awesome & shared...cheers

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 4 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      I will remember this as I cope with changes :) Stop complaining and move on! That works for me... Love and light!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      I used to freak out with "change." I just didn't like it. I've grown accustomed to it over time. I have a lot of change going on in my life, some good and some not. My doc suggested meds. I opted for positive thinking, laughter and exercise. I've also considered taking up drinking, but opted out due to the useless calorie intake :)

      My new motto is "It is what it is." Great hub, we all could learn something from it. Thanks! :)

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image

      Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

      Hi Josh! Thanks for a positive, inspirational message. Your tips and advice will provide much needed support for many. Thanks for writing this helpful hub!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Josh, very informative Hub on how to deal and cope with change. I have been through both the good (having a baby, marriage) and the bad (losing loved ones, jobs, etc.) and your hub details how to deal with stuff like this very nicely. That said I also feel you are definitely pretty much wise beyond your years my friend. Very nicely done here and voting up and sharing too.

    • brewskitimeguy profile image

      brewskitimeguy 4 years ago from Maine

      EXCELLANT HUB...I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME PRETTY BIG CHANGES OVER THE PAST YEAR...WHILE DIFFICULT AT TIMES...THEY ONLY MAKE ME STRONGER...THANKS FOR SHARING

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      dghbrh,

      Thanks so much for your awesome feedback! It is much appreciated!

      Thanks also for the vote and share.

      Have a great night and take care!

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 4 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Very nice hub and useful tips for managing change. I like the very concept of change as CHANGE is the only constant thing in life.

      But to go through a change process in a balanced way is all about life for me. 'Let's face change head on and encourage each other along the way!'......I am with you in the process.....and my encouragement is always with you for sure, Josh. voting up...and sharing.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Kelly,

      Thanks for visiting and for all the support! I can relate to the not being flexible part for sure!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Very nice change for you Josh! Great job - and all very true:)

      I like doing things my way and don't like when the schedule changes, I plan everything about an hour in advance and am NOT very flexible! LOL

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Michelle,

      Thanks, I am glad it was practical for you. Also, I want to thank you for your continued support and encouragement of my work, it means a lot to me!

      Thanks for reading, commenting, voting, and sharing Michelle!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Some very useful tips on change.....practical advice to share!Voted up, sharing.

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