How To Deal With Controversy.
First you must get into the game.
Controversy is not for all the people all the time or even for some people at anytime. Mostly it is for some people some of the time. Controversy is not always welcome. Controversy is often a mistake made. Controversy is almost always a price we pay for playing hard at whatever we chose to endeavor to engage in.
The attack, the way back, the comeback and the lay back. All exhilarating parts of stepping up and getting in the game. Controversy is not what they say in the papers about you. It used to be but now you cannot read anything about someone else and really believe it. No, controversy comes from the horses mouth. You cause it if you so choose or you are sloppy in life.
Let us look at some issues surrounding controversy.
We all have four seasons in us.
Sometimes we choose the tougher road
Controversy is not evil.
Some times two sides need to collide in order for a new beginning to occur. That is just the nature of life. You are not a bad person if you step up and be counted.
Nobody wants a homeless shelter next to their business or home. But we need the shelters. Standing up and fighting for the shelter is not bad. It is good. We all like our little status quo. You will get resistance when you tilt that around. It does not make you a bad person or even a rabble raiser. It is just the natural flow of being a caring person.
Family is not sacrosanct. Some times members of our family are wrong. You are not bad to cause a conflict and point that out. It is healthy. Families where it is not appreciated grow stale and stupid.
Controversy is like war.
Make no doubt in your mind, some people play to win at any costs and are darned good at it. More people get raises and promotions as a result of a controversy than longevity.
So be careful sometimes the sole goal in a controversy is to "take out the adversary". More people than not personalize everything, especially disputes. (it is why we hate good lawyers -- they do not personalize --- although just like professional sports, the really great ones do)
People do not say "this project is going down" they say "she is going down". Think about that and be ready for it in life. Forget that simple truth and you will be a loser.
This is an example of controversy. He steps from rap, he steps from Christian into a new genre. He is a hero.
Some folks faces are just made for controversy. They kind of beg to be slapped ;-)
The Attack
More often than not this is a brutal attack on not just the issue but the person. One just has to grow thick skin and live with that. If you walk into a budget meeting and declare that the pencil pushing accountants are harming the bottom line in that they are too conservative. They will attack your personage and then some.
If you demand that girls be allowed to play on the football team, everything about you will be called into question. If you suggest that a manager is not doing his job because he is drunk all the time you will be called dirty names.
You just have to get over it. Go home and beat your walls and cry in your pillow. But do not waver.
In about '86 I opened a homeless shelter. Just to keep them out of a horrible cold winter. We complied with building and health codes but were run out of town because we cut into a politically well founded "Father's" charity money and qualified for his grants also. The bottom line at the end was that he got a ton more money because of the great controversy we created. "Father" and I are friends to this day. We fought bitterly but the result was awesome.
If you have a cause stick with it and remember that winning is in making a difference.
The comeback is awesome
You are going to get knocked down and maybe even out for the count. That just stinks and it hurts like hell. But like the comeback in Rocky or the redemption in Top Gun, there is nothing as exhilarating as coming back hard and strong. It is the epitome or a fine man or woman. It is Midway after Peal Harbor and it is a rainbow after a deluge.
I used to run cross country competition, I fell down once into a cactus. I got really busted up. I got lucky and blessed to win the next competition. Sweetest is the victory after a defeat.
The layback is worth it!
After you have fought a battle or seventy, you can become a consultant. I love my title "consultant". I have been there and done that and have a smashed face to prove it. I have lost and I have won, but I always fight the good fight.
Please when you get older be like me. Be a veteran of the fight. There are still more in us but we can lay back and pick the right ones.
Just back up and walk away, nobody has your back when you steal.
This article was written by Eric Dierker. I reserve all rights to this article and desire no duplication without attribution. On the other hand feel free to share the content just let folks know where it came from. Copying it and claiming it as your own would be stupid and subject you to my legal harassment of you. Besides if someone asked you what it meant you would not know so yes it is copyright protected as original work by me. Just leave a comment to ask to use it elsewhere and please share it.
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This guy has one way to handle controversy -- ouch!
Comments
AUTHORHi Alun, Your comment just now came to my attention. Too bad for me as it is a very good message you leave here. Aren't we lucky to be able to sit back and think about it.
I, like many others, also hate controversy especially when it is destructive rather than constructive, and becomes a source of hatred rather than healthy, informed debate. Unfortunately in these days of the Internet when anybody can comment on anything, almost everything becomes 'controversial' in the sense that there will always be someone, somewhere, presenting an alternative point of view - however unreasonable. That is why I quite like your more limited definition of controversy:
"Controversy is not what they say in the papers about you ... no, controversy comes from the horses mouth."
But it is difficult. As a writer I would love to tackle 'controversial' subject matter; you know the kind of thing - politics, religion, gun law, conspiracy theories, climate change - but one knows the inevitable 'flame war' which would result. And that is the problem. Too often now debate on controversial issues is 'won' (perceived by many to be won) by the person who lasts longest and has the last word. Genuine points get lost in a quagmire of abuse, accusation and misrepresentation. You certainly need a thick skin to survive!
- AUTHOR
Thanks much Dana. "sometimes we just gotta"
I hate controversy. Sometimes you have to get involved though in order to make a point. Sometimes you must get involved if it's a matter of justice or injustice. good article voted up and shared.
- AUTHOR
My good friend you have been doing a marvelous job of teaching us that tough road in your two series on cancer and narcissists. And I thank you for those found at http://hubpages.com/@ologsinquito
You are right. Sometimes we have to choose the tougher road, in order to do the right thing.
- AUTHOR
Thank you much Lady.
Yes I do agree with your stance in life and on theses issues. I loved the pictures though. That was the second thing that caught my mind as I was beginning to read your article. I do believe controversy is needed when you see something that is wrong. It is not bad to speak up and have your say. In my life those times that I did not speak up something terribly went really wrong in the situations that followed. That is why I speak up and get the controversy that I do get. Good job Eric!! I voted it up and across the board.
- AUTHOR
Thank you much for the visit and comment DDE. A good plan if effective.
I try to say my bit and stay away interesting and useful.
- AUTHOR
Thank you much ChitgragadaSharan. I think most are like you thank goodness.
I am very poor in dealing with controversies, therefore I carefully and consciously stay out of it. But controversies do happen and are a part of human nature. Sometimes they are unavoidable. But it is rare that they will not leave some sore feelings.
Very interesting read and a thought provoking hub!
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