How To Deal With Controversy.

Controversy is not for all the people all the time or even for some people at anytime. Mostly it is for some people some of the time. Controversy is not always welcome. Controversy is often a mistake made. Controversy is almost always a price we pay for playing hard at whatever we chose to endeavor to engage in.

The attack, the way back, the comeback and the lay back. All exhilarating parts of stepping up and getting in the game. Controversy is not what they say in the papers about you. It used to be but now you cannot read anything about someone else and really believe it. No, controversy comes from the horses mouth. You cause it if you so choose or you are sloppy in life.

Let us look at some issues surrounding controversy.

Some times two sides need to collide in order for a new beginning to occur. That is just the nature of life. You are not a bad person if you step up and be counted.

Nobody wants a homeless shelter next to their business or home. But we need the shelters. Standing up and fighting for the shelter is not bad. It is good. We all like our little status quo. You will get resistance when you tilt that around. It does not make you a bad person or even a rabble raiser. It is just the natural flow of being a caring person.

Family is not sacrosanct. Some times members of our family are wrong. You are not bad to cause a conflict and point that out. It is healthy. Families where it is not appreciated grow stale and stupid.

Make no doubt in your mind, some people play to win at any costs and are darned good at it. More people get raises and promotions as a result of a controversy than longevity.

So be careful sometimes the sole goal in a controversy is to "take out the adversary". More people than not personalize everything, especially disputes. (it is why we hate good lawyers -- they do not personalize --- although just like professional sports, the really great ones do)

People do not say "this project is going down" they say "she is going down". Think about that and be ready for it in life. Forget that simple truth and you will be a loser.

More often than not this is a brutal attack on not just the issue but the person. One just has to grow thick skin and live with that. If you walk into a budget meeting and declare that the pencil pushing accountants are harming the bottom line in that they are too conservative. They will attack your personage and then some.

If you demand that girls be allowed to play on the football team, everything about you will be called into question. If you suggest that a manager is not doing his job because he is drunk all the time you will be called dirty names.

You just have to get over it. Go home and beat your walls and cry in your pillow. But do not waver.

In about '86 I opened a homeless shelter. Just to keep them out of a horrible cold winter. We complied with building and health codes but were run out of town because we cut into a politically well founded "Father's" charity money and qualified for his grants also. The bottom line at the end was that he got a ton more money because of the great controversy we created. "Father" and I are friends to this day. We fought bitterly but the result was awesome.

If you have a cause stick with it and remember that winning is in making a difference.

You are going to get knocked down and maybe even out for the count. That just stinks and it hurts like hell. But like the comeback in Rocky or the redemption in Top Gun, there is nothing as exhilarating as coming back hard and strong. It is the epitome or a fine man or woman. It is Midway after Peal Harbor and it is a rainbow after a deluge.

I used to run cross country competition, I fell down once into a cactus. I got really busted up. I got lucky and blessed to win the next competition. Sweetest is the victory after a defeat.

After you have fought a battle or seventy, you can become a consultant. I love my title "consultant". I have been there and done that and have a smashed face to prove it. I have lost and I have won, but I always fight the good fight.

Please when you get older be like me. Be a veteran of the fight. There are still more in us but we can lay back and pick the right ones.

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