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How To Get Over Death Of A Loved One (Poetry)

Updated on August 15, 2016
word55 profile image

Author of (Love Is Our Law) poetry book, songwriter, firefighter, real estate broker, College Instructor. 3 songs released. Yet to marry.

Cherish The Good Memories

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Loved Ones In Immediate Family

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As They Go We Must Live On

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It Is Best To Show Love Always

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"I Know You Loved Me So"


Think of the good times shared,

They would not want you to cry,

Feel good because you cared,

Be strong they'd want you to try,


They don’t want a sad face

They left this earth with dignity,

Shed tears will leave a trace,

They'd hope you had no enmity,


They don’t want any fighting or fussing

Over anything left behind,

No anger, no frowns, no cursing

But maintain a mellowing mind,


They would want everyone to get along

And show a better breed of love,

You’ve got to hold up and stay strong,

To show the weak what you are made of,


Lives have days of down and up

You must take the sweet with the bitter,

This loved one may have left life so abrupt

But this was just a day without glitter,


Life goes on so live with the others,

That is what I’d want you to do

There’s father, mother, sisters and brothers

Other relatives, friends and pets too,


Smile for how you appreciated me,

There’s nothing for you to regret,

I hope that you will always see

That godly living is the best way yet,

Try Not To Sob At At The Service

I must admit that I've been to enough loved ones' homegoings. I don't cry because I feel more when I don't. I may cry later but for the most part it is easier for other family, friends and guest to celebrate with you. More people would walk up to you if you're not sobbing and comfort you even more. Some people don't like to attend these because they think there will be too much crying and therefore, you may miss out on them. Unfortunately, it makes them feel a bit uncomfortable because they are not crying. However, it all depends on how close you were to the one that has passed.

Being A Loving Family Makes The Loss Easier

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Pets Are Loved As Family

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The Final Farewell

The final farewell should be a good and memorable one. It is most important to share and think of the good times had although there may be good and bad.

Love Is The Answer To All Things

Love the people whom you associate with in family and abroad. Life's general lesson is to love all people regardless of who they are. We are all God's children whether we realize it or not.

The Love For Christ Should Be Love Above All

In Matthew 10:37 Jesus states His position that He prefers us all to have in relation with Him. He is trying to make a better point here. We can love each other properly by love for Him most because He shows us how to distribute love properly and toward everyone before and after they have passed away. If someone has never loved Jesus then they never knew how to properly love but they can only show feelings and say that they love but not have had it. We do not know how to love properly on our own accord otherwise, there would be no fighting when couples, married or not break up if Jesus was allowed to provide and distribute love in the relationship. This is the best way as well, to get over death of a loved one. God and Christ should be first in us all. This should be clearly understood by everyone.

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  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    2 years ago from Chicago

    Like some others have said, its okay to cry. Some people will struggle until they do. However, the service itself usually holds some encouragement--like seeing the rest of the family together; and I agree with you that there is much they can do to make the gathering meaningful.

    Hi Dora,

    I had my nerve talking about you... I'm just now responding to your meaningful comment. Actually, I need to develop some order about responding..Anyway, thank you, thank you and thank you for responding here. Your response here is a Heavy Weight Champion one. As matter of fact, I love it!

  • Missy Smith profile image

    Missy Smith 

    2 years ago from Florida

    Hey word55. Great poem, great advice here for mourners. I can't control if I cry or not at funerals, and therefore, I tend to back out of going whenever I can. It's just; I prefer to remember them the way I knew them. You are right; it should be a celebration. They, after all, are with our God in the most glorious place; Heaven!

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Hi Dear Teaches, I'm sure you got through both very well, at the times. I appreciate your response here. I'm touched that the poem meant something to you. I'm sure your parents did the best that they could for you too. Blessings in return :-)

  • teaches12345 profile image

    Dianna Mendez 

    4 years ago

    Good advice on how to get through such an emotional time of life. I had both parents pass on years ago and this would have been good advice to have then. Blessings.

  • Faith Reaper profile image

    Faith Reaper 

    4 years ago from southern USA

    Beautiful poem and thoughts here on grieving the loss of a loved one. We all grieve in our own way. I believe in celebrating the loved one's life and expressing such. And sharing what a blessing that person was to us. It helps me when I know the person was a child of God and I will get to see them again one day. Usually, the tears will hit me a week or even two later when some little small thing reminds me of my loved one when I am alone. Up and more and away ...Blessings always

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Thank you Ms Dana for such a heartfelt response to this poem. It's okay to cry as long as it is necessary. I appreciate you :-)

  • Dana Tate profile image

    Dana Tate 

    4 years ago from LOS ANGELES

    I would cry at funerals all the time because my heart would be full of sorrow thinking I would never see them again. Now when I cry it's because my heart is rejoicing because I know if they are saved they have gone to rest and they are free of the things that plague us in this world. I still cry because I will miss them, but I don't believe in death in a "literal " sense.

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Hi denise.w.anderson, thank you for stopping by and commenting. You are correct. It does depend on the closeness to the deceased. Sorry to hear about your brother. May he be resting in peace. I must attend a funeral this coming weekend of a friend and victim of cancer. It's never easy. Take good care :-)

  • denise.w.anderson profile image

    Denise W Anderson 

    4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

    I think that the appropriateness of tears at a funeral depend entirely upon how close we are to the deceased and the circumstances surrounding the death. There was a girl at my brother's funeral (he drowned at the age of 16) who was entirely out of place. She hardly knew him, but was hysterical with tears. At services following tragic deaths, tears are more universal. There are probably fewer tears during the services of someone who lived a long life, with death being a welcome relief. As for immediate family and close relatives, no matter what the circumstance, tears are only natural during the service.

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    I'm glad you see this that way DDE. Your comment is greatly appreciated. Have a blessed day :-).

  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 

    4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    Death is not spoken much of. Your strong words expressed advises one about death in a much more caring way.

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Hi Au Fait and MsDora thanks for your very kind responses. I know that getting over death of a loved one is not easy. Be blessed.

  • MsDora profile image

    Dora Weithers 

    4 years ago from The Caribbean

    Like some others have said, its okay to cry. Some people will struggle until they do. However, the service itself usually holds some encouragement--like seeing the rest of the family together; and I agree with you that there is much they can do to make the gathering meaningful.

  • Au fait profile image

    C E Clark 

    4 years ago from North Texas

    Very nice photos of beautiful families.

    Mourning is what helps people to get through the first difficult days and weeks. If people dislike comforting someone whose crying it's because they are feeling uncomfortable themselves, don't know what to say, and are basically thinking about themselves, and not the person who needs comfort. So often people ignore others in emotional pain because they worry about what to say, how to say it, how not to make a fool of themselves, and as I said, they're thinking all about themselves.

    When did people stop caring about other people and become 'me people?' It's a shame, but it's happened. I wrote an article about dying, addressing this very topic of selfishness, and that article has been pretty successful as far as getting readers.

    It is normal and natural for heartbroken people to cry at funerals. Holding one's grief in will only prolong the time it takes to learn to deal with the new normal. Sharing one's sorrow with other people who feel the same way is very helpful in accepting what has happened and learning to move on.

    Forcing people to pretend nothing has changed and all is as usual when a spouse, parent, child, or best friend, or someone else they were close to has just died is barbaric (especially at the funeral). It is making no allowance for the pain other people are experiencing even though one may be attending only to make sure the deceased is indeed deceased.

    Some people may be there for appearances only, again because s/he is concerned with what people will think of them if they don't show up. It's all about them and it never occurs to them that other people may feel differently. They never get around to realizing that they are not the most important person on the planet and that everyone need not bow to their comfort zones.

    True mourners will welcome other people who are also mourning. Even if a person is not someone who cries publicly but still feels the hurt, that person can hopefully empathize with those people who are heartbroken and offer comfort in the way of a hug or some other gesture, or kind words. Hopefully one can.

    People should think of some things they might say before they go to the event since they are likely to have to speak to someone while there. By thinking ahead, one won't be so likely to find oneself tongue-tied and scared witless if they have to say something to someone. Especially someone who is crying.

    A lot of people don't realize this, but while one may think s/he is attending a funeral to pay their last respects to the deceased, or to simply make an appearance, in fact the funeral is for the living.

    People who attend a funeral are there to comfort those heartbroken people left behind, even if only by being there. Showing up is an indication that you care about the living left behind enough to be there to support them when they must watch as their loved one is lowered into the ground.

    It's about helping those people who were closest to the deceased get through the services and beyond. It is not about helping the general attendees get through it as quickly and easily as possible with no discomfort.

    Just because a lot of people think things should be a certain way (usually for their own benefit) doesn't make it right. A lot of people have been wrong about some pretty important things in the past (bet you can think of one or two) and from my prospective most people really don't learn from their mistakes very well.

    So even though a majority of people may think a certain way, that is not necessarily an indication their way is good or right just because there are a lot of them thinking that same way. I like to call it 'mob thinking' because like mobs, there are a lot of people involved and it often leaves out the thinking.

    Yes, I attended Dr. Phil's alma mater and sometimes I have his same bedside manner. Generally he doesn't mince words. That makes some people uncomfortable. :)

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Thank you oldies for stopping by and yes, your grandpa's in a better place.

  • oldiesmusic profile image

    oldiesmusic 

    4 years ago from United States

    Touching poem.. but when my grandpa died almost 10 years ago I did cry, however with a sense of dignity. It's ok to cry, to grieve. Now I'm happy because I realize he's in a better place with no suffering. And you're right, life goes on with the rest of us...

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    I'm grateful Renee, that you didn't break down but you held up strongly!

  • Renee Abbott profile image

    Renee Abbott 

    4 years ago from Arizona

    Thank you. I understand. To this day, I am shocked that I didn't break down crying, when I presented my husband's eulogy, or at any other time during the funeral. Again, excellent poem.

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Hi Renee, I know that crying is inevitable but just trying to make it a little easier for mourners. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Good to see you! :-)

  • Renee Abbott profile image

    Renee Abbott 

    4 years ago from Arizona

    Hello Word, excellent poem. Crying, I too agree is okay, and more of an individual choice. I love this part, "And this is just a day without glitter".

    Thank you for creating this poem.

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Thanks billybuc, good to see ya with ur pal!

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 

    4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Great advice my friend. I wish I was privy to it when I was younger. :)

  • word55 profile imageAUTHOR

    Al Wordlaw 

    4 years ago from Chicago

    Thank you Neetu, very well agreed. All is definitely accepted. It's okay to cry.

  • wordswithlove profile image

    Neetu M 

    4 years ago from USA

    Lovely poem and thoughts, word55. It is okay to cry too, I think, because it is part of the reconciliation, the acceptance - don't you think? Sometimes, the tears come much later, long after the shock, the loss, the separation.

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