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Tips How to Calm Down When Angry and Upset

Updated on December 1, 2017

We experience anger off and on. It's a natural, commonly experienced emotion.

Unfortunately, anger can be very devastating if we don't learn how to resolve issues. Constant or misplaced anger can negatively affect our reputations, ruin our relationships, hinder opportunities, and even deteriorate our health.

In this hub, you will understand what anger is and the harmful effects it can do to your health. You will also learn practical steps to cope with violence and aggression.

3 Elements of anger.

Anger is a natural emotion with a various degree, from slight irritation and dissatisfaction to rage. It is a response to a supposed threat to ourselves, our family, our property, our personality, or some part of our identity. Anger is a caution siren that indicates something is not right.

Anger has three elements:

Physical reactions, typically starting with a surge of adrenaline and typical reactions such as a faster heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, and muscle contraction; often referred to as the “fight or flight” response.

The cognitive experience of anger, or the way we respond to and think about what makes us angry. For instance, you might think you are poorly treated or blamed.

Behavior, or the manner we manifest our anger. There is different behavior that indicates anger. We may appear sound and upset, turn red, raise our voices, composed, bang doors, storm out to show other people that we are angry. We may also express that we are enraged by asking for a break, demand an apology, or request to change something.


Common anger triggers.

Every day, we can encounter things that could make us angry. Common triggers include feelings of:

Injustice, whether or not real or perceived.

Other causes are:
Requests or criticisms that we deemed are uncalled-for.
Threats to people close to us, things we cherish, or ideas that we support.

People get angry feelings in different ways and for several reasons. Something that causes you to be bitter may only mildly frustrate someone else. This subjectivity makes anger complicated and challenging to manage. It also demonstrates that your reaction to violence is up to you.

How constant anger can affect you.

A decent level of anger motivates us to take the right course of action, handle problems efficiently, and cope with demanding situations constructively. In spite of this, uncontrolled outrage may cause adverse consequences, particularly at work. For instance, it can affect relationships with your bosses and coworkers; and it can lead people to lose confidence and respect for us, primarily once we act directly and angrily to something that we perceived incorrectly as a threat.

Anger overshadow our ability to produce sound decisions and find effective ways to fix problems. It can interfere with our work performance.

Constant anger causes health problems as well. One medical research found that people who enraged themselves every day are more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease, eating disorders, and weight problems. Research has also discovered a link between anger and premature death. Additional reports have found that there is a connection between violence and disorders which includes anxiety and depression.


Keep you anger at bay with these useful tips.

Accept that you have a problem.

In case you find it difficult to control your anger, the most important thing you can do is, to be honest with yourself and accept that there is a problem. Then you can come up with a way to handle it.

Keep an aggression journal.
Are you aware what is causing your anger? It is likely that you don't understand why you answer back angrily to some people or situations. The minute you realize what makes you angry, you can quickly make adjustments to direct it effectively.

Spend time with friends and love ones.
Let relevant people in your life be aware of the adjustments that you're trying to make. They could encourage and guide you if you slipped into previous behaviors.These should be a mutual understanding and interaction. Have some time off every day to commit to these relationships, particularly with good friends and loved ones. You have to be there for them, much like they're happy to be there for you. You can minimize pressure when you spend more time with people you hold dear. Doing this helps you to have power over your anger.

Interrupt the anger process.
When you start to feel angry, try the following strategies:

Shout "Stop!" loudly in your thoughts. Doing this will disrupt the anger process. Relax your mind and body by breathing deeply or centering.
Count to 20 before you answer.
Keep control of your negative feelings with images and positive reasoning.
Look for a peaceful place, and meditate for 5 minutes.
Re-channel yourself from your anger - check out your favorite websites, play a tune that you like, dream about an adventure that you enjoy, or go for a walk.
One more way is to give some thought to the truths of the situation, to help you convince not to get angry.

To use this technique, think about what you can see about the person or state of affairs, not what you're inferring about someone's interests or intentions. What makes you feel your involvement is necessary? Why do you need to be angry here? As soon as you look purely at the whole story, you'll likely figure out that it's unproductive to behave with anger.

Use your understanding.
If someone else is the source of your anger, use your right vibes to realize the situation from his or her standpoint. Be sensible here. People make mistakes, and it is through mistakes that we learn how to become better.

Find the humor in your anger.
Try to laugh at yourself and try not to take the whole thing seriously. The next time you feel tempted to speak sharply, make it a habit of seeing the hilarity in your expressions of anger.
An excellent way to do this is to make the scenario comical. It is when you exaggerate a small problem that you feel angry about after that have fun at your self-importance.

For instance, suppose you're angry because one of your team members didn't go to work. For this reason, a report you were relying on will be delayed.

To make the scenario humorous, you think, "Wow, she must have been planning this for months for the chance to screw up my plans. She and everyone on the team very likely planned this, and they're certainly sending her newsletters regarding how angry I'm getting."

Without a doubt, this wildly exaggerates the situation. When you think of an outrageous and overblown version of the story, you'll probably end up laughing right at the end of it.

Take it easy.
Angry people let minor things affect them. If you learn to breathe easy, you'll know that there is no pressing need to get frantic, and you'll have lesser angry episodes. Getting plenty of exercises can help you relax in a horrible situation. When possible, take a walk, or stretch and breathe deeply each time you start to feel affected.

You will probably feel less intense when you get a right amount of sleep and eat healthy foods.

Dehydration often irritates too, so keep hydrated each day by drinking plenty of water.

Build trust.
Angry people can be skeptical. They can suspect other people do things deliberately to disturb or frustrate them, even before anything happens. But usually, people focus less on you than you might think!

Build trust with friends, relatives, and co-workers. Doing this, you'll keep hostilities from happening when something goes wrong. You'll also be less likely to allege malicious intent on their part.

To create trust, tell the truth. Be clear about your actions or decisions when you need to, and always stand by what you said. If you do this regularly, people will learn that they can trust you. They will kindly start to work with you, and you'll discover to trust them in return.

Listen properly.
Failure to communicate leads to frustrating situations. The more efficiently you listen to what someone says, the better it is to figure out a solution that doesn't call for an angry response.

So, improve a keen listening ability. When other people are talking, pay attention to what they're saying, and don't get interrupted by initiating your response before they've finished. When they are finished speaking, let them know that you listened pleasantly by reflecting back the things they have just said.

Be positive.
Keep in mind; the word is positive, not aggressive. When you're very competitive, you center on winning. You think little of others' sentiments, rights, and aspirations. When you're positive, you believe in harmony. You're honest about what you like, and you appreciate the needs of other people.

If you're upset, it's always tricky to voice yourself out clearly. Learn how to believe in yourself and let others know your goals, limits, and difficulties. When you do, you'll realize you build self-respect, gain trust, and improve your connections with others.

Live every single day as if It's your last.
Life is short. If you give most of your time and energy getting frustrated, you're likely to miss lots of joys and surprises that life gives you.

Give some thoughts on how many times your anger issues have ruined a relationship, or caused you to avoid a happy day with family members. That's precious time that you'll never recover. However, you can stop this from happening again - the choice is yours.

Settle one's differences.
To guarantee you make long-term positive adjustments, you might want to forgive those who have angered you.

It's hard to put aside past resentments, but the only means to release anger it is to leave behind these emotions.

So, start today. Make amends with somebody that you've hurt or disappointed because of your anger. It may be awkward, but you'll look and feel better following that. Plus, healing the relationship will only take one step closer.

Anger Management - Learning From Dr. Jim Byrne

© 2013 Ferdinand Receno


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    • peachpurple profile image


      6 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      i don't speak when i m angry. I just walk away of show my sulky face. If i speak, there will be volcanoes erupting!


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