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How To Help Someone Stop Smoking

Updated on December 1, 2016

As A Non-Smoker Do You Feel Like You Are Walking On Eggshells To Support A Smoker To Stop Smoking??


The Best Thing To Ask A Smoker Is...

"What can I do to support you?"

You might be surprised at the answers that you get.

Things that DON'T WORK When Trying To Support a Smoker to Stop Smoking

  • Telling a smoker that smoking is not good for "duh"... they know that.
  • It won't help to take away or throw away their cigarettes...that will just make them cranky.
  • Having them quit for you....the smoker needs to quit for themselves. If they quit for you, what happens the first time they get annoyed with you ....yes! They smoke to spite you.
  • Rationing or cutting down cigarettes. Cigarettes then become more precious and now they are a reward and the addiction becomes more intense even if they are smoking fewer cigarettes.
  • Bribing them with a car or big gifts. They will get the gifts or win the bet and then go back to smoking.
  • Making them feel "less than" will just make them smoke more.

Take A Look At How Much This Smoker Has To Go Through To Have A Break At Work

Most Smokers Will Tell You Why They Love Smoking and Why They Need To Smoke!

  • I need it to concentrate
  • It is my best friend
  • It helps me relax
  • It gives me "a break"

These are just what they think cigarettes are doing, but there is another truth that you can discover and help the smoker find what will really motivate them to stop smoking.

Ask The Smoker-- What Was The Reason That They Started Smoking?

The Top Three Reasons That Most People Start Smoking Are:

  • Peer Pressure/It was in their environment
  • To Rebel
  • To Look Older

Now Ask Why Are They Considering Stopping Smoking

Usually People will tell you the reason that they started smoking is now the same reason in reverse that they want to quit.

For Instance if someone started for peer pressure they are now being pressured to stop smoking by their kids and grandchildren.

Or If someone started smoking to look older -- NOW they are stopping because they don't want to get more wrinkles and look older.

The Way We Do Anything Is The Way We do Everything

If something motivated us one time it will motivate us again. So If you find out that a smoker started for peer pressure then peer pressure will work to help them quit!

If the smoker started to looked older, then the fear of looking older will be a motivator to help them quit!

So all you have to do to find the motivator to help them quit smoking is ask What was the reason you started smoking in the very beginning.

Lela Bryan

Lela Bryan Has Been Teaching Smokers And Chewers How to Quit Ever Since She Stopped Smoking in 1978

Lela is the founder of Nicotine Solutions. Lela and Stephanie Eldringhoff, a psychologist, collaborated in order to help non-smokers understand how to support a loved one to stop smoking or chewing.

You Need To Turn The Focus On Yourself When You Want Someone Else To Change!

The First 3 Tips have to do with Changing YOUR energy

Tip 1.

  • Three thumps on the collar bone --tap with all fingers 5 to 10 times
  • Tap On the breast bone
  • Tap Under the breast bone
  • Tap under the Arm

Tap 5 to 10 times on both sides . This helps when you are dealing with frustrating situations.

Tip 2. Focus On Your Own Self And Do The Hook Up

  • Put Your middle finger in the belly button and push in and pull up
  • Put your other hand in between your eyebrow and push in and pull up

When you connect both of these ares it helps you settle down and pause

Tip 3. This Is An East Indian technique called the Mudra

  • Rub your hands and then shake them
  • Put the flat of the palms on top of each other on your heart
  • Slip out of thinking and listen to the wisdom of your heart
  • Take 10 breaths

More Tips for a non-smoker to support a smoker to stop smoking

Tip 4. Ask yourself what small action can I take today that I can start living from my heart

  • The free audio tapes at the bottom of this Hub go into more details and examples

Tip 5. What am I avoiding feeling or doing by focusing on the smoker

  • What do you need to do to focus on yourself
  • Lead by example
  • If you are working harder than the smoker for them to quit smoking it won't work

Tip 6. Concentrate on What Works

  • Start a gratitude journal
  • Write down 1 to 5 things that you are grateful for every day
  • At the end of the day review what you are grateful for

Learn How To Release Any Judgments You Have About Smokers And Chewers

It is not going to get the smoker any closer to stop smoking when you judge or make rude or disrespectful comments about their smoking. In fact it usually makes the smoker nervous and they smoke more.

Stephanie walks you through a technique that you will get for free in the third audio on how to release judgments and replace them with love and respect.

She teaches a support group that covers:

  • Listening skills
  • How to inquire effectively without interrogation
  • Managing anxiety
  • Acting from Your strenghts


Gifts For Smokers

Most smokers WANT to stop smoking, they just don't know how. Most smokers have a lot of fears about quitting smoking.

Here are a few common excuses smokers say about quitting smoking:

  • I don't want to gain weight
  • What will I do for stress
  • I enjoy smoking
  • It is my only vice
  • How will I take a break
  • It's my best friend
  • It gives me a break
  • I can't relax without my cigarette
  • I'll give up the last 5 years of my life if I can have my cigarettes now
  • I can't imagine life without cigarettes
  • I can't concentrate without my cigarettes

Under all those fears they really do want to stop smoking.

So for the smoker in your life on their next birthday or Christmas give them a gift certificate to Nicotine Solutions. They can attend a free informational meeting before the class starts to experience what the classes are like and ask any questions.

Here is a tip - Don't pay for the whole program because the smoker needs to have some investment! You don't want to work harder or be more committed than the smoker.

You can give me a call if you want to talk or you can call Stephanie. We are here to help.


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    • KevinC9998 profile image

      KevinC9998 5 years ago

      Hi Lela, great hub and I loved the video. As a former smoker I know how difficult it is to quit. Thanks, Kevin

    • profile image

      maggie cavers 5 years ago

      Have been smoke free 6 months but has been hard...still miss it..but was so hard to quit cannot ever go through quitting again. Was on champax took it for two weeks only at half the dosage and i did fine...needed my sleep 2 weeks was all i needed to quit...the champax was too advice...go half recommended dosage 4 two weeks that is all then quit...longer u are on champax harder it is